Yesterday, former Bush advisor Karl Rove accused Barack Obama of being arrogant. Really? This from the guy who told the host during an NPR interview in the fall of 2006, “You may have your math, but I have THE math, and the math I have adds up to a Republican victory in November.” This from the guy who engineered the most arrogant American administration of the 20th century. Pot, meet kettle.
Thursday morning, on the final day of their term, the Supreme Court struck down the District of Columbia’s ban on handguns, ruling that the Second Amendment to the Constitution guarantees individual citizens the right to bar arms. Since the Bill of Rights was adopted in 1789, reasonable people have argued over the meaning of the phrase, “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed. About 219 years of confusion could have been avoided had James Madison simply written a more coherent sentence. But he didn’t, so here we are. Believe it or not, the Supreme Court has managed to avoid offering a direct interpretation of said amendment since it first appeared on the parchment. Because of this, the amendment has been generally understood (legally – not necessarily socially) to refer to a collective right, tied to the concept of a militia. This allowed for the development of gun control legislation throughout the years all across the country, culminating in the near total ban enforced in Washington D.C. Well, on Thursday morning, the Roberts Court decided that 219 years of pseudo-precedent don’t amount to a steaming pile of doo doo, and ruled instead that, militia be damned, guns are for everybody. And while claiming the decision did not automatically invalidate every single gun law in the nation, they also cleverly neglected of offer any guidelines on what type of restrictions – if any – might be considered reasonable – effectively invalidating every single gun law in the nation, at least for the time being. In light of this decision, there may currently be more restrictions on speech – which does no physical harm to anyone – than on firearms, which have a history of being quite deadly.
Personally, I think this is a fantastic decision. There is nothing more American than shooting things and blowing things up. This country was founded on shooting things and blowing things up, and no one else does it better than we do. We have the homicide rate to prove it. Prior to this, only cops and criminals in D.C. could engage in this illustrious American past time. But now, anybody can shoot whatever they want, wherever they want, with whatever they want. Until a case comes before the court that might push them into defining what limitations may or may not be reasonable, it is open season. Grand Theft Auto all over Chicago and Washington D.C. I can’t wait.
6.27.2008
6.25.2008
Guess You Should Have Gone to Rehab...
Today’s word is irony. Say it with me. Irony.
Late last week, in a move that surprised absolutely no one, presidential hopeful Barack Obama announced that he will forego $80 million in public financing and continue to raise record-breaking amounts of money on his own. This drew the ire of the McCain campaign, which wasted no time in labeling Obama a “flip-flopper” on the issue of public financing of political campaigns. According to McCain, Obama promised to accept public financing and abide by the rules of such a campaign if his opponent did the same. Of course, as it always is in politics, the truth is actually a little more nuanced. Obama promised to aggressively pursue an agreement with the opposing candidate to utilize public funding, if the opponent did the same. McCain, the opponent, did not officially accept public financing of his campaign until after Obama declared he would not. But truthfully, the facts are neither here nor there. The essence of the argument is as follows. A long time ago, Obama implied he would accept public financing. At the time he made said nuanced statement, no one anticipated the ridiculous amounts of money that would be raised during this campaign season. The candidates thought this would be a campaign on par with campaigns of the past. Oops. At this point, John McCain can’t buy fundraising, while Obama is growing greenbacks in his back yard. Why would Obama want to be limited to $80 million when he has already raised three times that during the primaries alone? And of course McCain wants to limit his opponent to public financing. He would be fortunate to raise another $80 million without the help of the system.
I guess I’m not as disturbed by Obama’s reversal on public financing than some other people. The purpose of the public financing system is to ensure that the public is not excluded from political influence at the expense of larger, wealthier donors. The Obama campaign has amassed over 1.5 million donors contributing less than $200 each. Sounds like public financing to me. Besides, conservatives should have two reasons to be excited. One, they hate public financing anyway. Because the government shouldn't pay for anything that doesn't blow stuff up, invade people's privacy, or keep out Mexicans. And two, Obama just saved the taxpayers $84 million. What’s not to like?
Candidates need to be careful when throwing around charges of “flip-flopping.” First, “flip-flopping” is a ridiculous word. No one should use it. Second, no one is immune from this type of charge. There isn’t a single politician who has not changed his or her mind on some issue at some point in time. Circumstances change and opinions evolve over time and as evidence becomes available. Now, I’m sure there are legitimate circumstances under which a candidate can be labeled as changing one’s mind for political gain. But if Obama “flip-flopped” on campaign finance, did McCain “flip-flop” on offshore drilling, immigration reform or certain interrogation techniques? There seems to be a fine line between “flip-flopping” and refining one’s position.
Oh, by the way, I'm a little tired of people pretending they don't know anything about Barack Obama's policies, and using that to justify their "uncertainty" about voting for him. If you truly don't know anything, it's because you've intentionally turned him out every time he's tried to tell you. How many policy speeches does he need to give on financial market reform, alternative energy, tax reform, the Iraq war, foreign policy and the like before people will admit he has a plan? How many times does he need to explain that he wants to eliminate income taxes for seniors making less than $50,000 a year, return the capital gains tax rate to between 25% and 28%, increase fuel economy standards, dramatically increase the amount spent on alternative energy, remove up to two brigades from Iraq per month, regulate Wall Street speculators, etc., before some people will admit that they really do know all that stuff and it has little to do with their "uncertainty" about voting for him? If you don't like what Senator Obama stands for, just say so. But don't pretend you don't know what he stands for.
A report issued today revealed that during the past seven years, the Justice Department routinely turned down highly qualified applicants with sparkling resumes from the nation’s finest institutions because they were deemed “liberal” or “Democratic”, and instead accepted less qualified applicants found to be more “conservative.” Is ANYONE remotely surprised by this? Anyone at all? The Bush Justice Department put politics ahead of justice. I’m stunned.
Zimbabwean opposition leader Morgan Tvsangirai has withdrawn from what he terms a “...sham of an election process,” and taken refuge in the Dutch embassy amidst rampant violence and the murder of his party members by persons affiliated with President Robert Mugabe’s ruling party. As a result, Mugabe will be declared the winner of the upcoming “election” this Friday, ensuring the continuation of what may be the most self-destructive African regime of the last quarter century. As usual, the rest of the world, including Zimbabwe’s African neighbors, gave speeches condemning Mugabe’s campaign of violence, but took no action whatsoever to correct the situation. Many question Tvsangirai’s decision to revoke his candidacy so close to an election which could potentially end the 26-year disaster that has been Mugabe’s rule. But people need to understand something. Heroes are still human beings. Tsvangirai has family and friends and co-workers and many others whom are put at risk of life and limb by his candidacy, and he has to be conscious of that fact. It’s not like America where more often that not the worst thing that happens to you when you disagree with the establishment is that you change the channel. At least for now, Tsvangirai lives to fight another day.
Two presidential tracking polls released within the past few days show Barack Obama leading John McCain by 12 to 15 points. These pollsters need to put down the marijuana cigarettes and get themselves a cup of coffee to calm their nerves. Polls should reflect what is happening, not what could or might or should happen. Yes, given all the factors, this is an election Democrats should win in a landslide. But, almost in spite of themselves, the Republicans have managed to nominate the one candidate they had who could give the Democrats a run for their money. Despite seven years of (insert noun /adjective combination here), this country is still closely divided and this will be a close election. Attempting to lull people into false senses of security or panic with voodoo polling does a disservice to this process.
Don Imus once again finds himself waist deep in the big muddy. The apparently 700-year-old Imus has decided to follow his much-publicized episode with the Rutgers women’s basketball team last year with a new racially-charged senior moment involving Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones. In discussing Jones’ multiple arrests with his sportscaster, Imus seemed to imply that the reason Jones has found himself in so much trouble is because that is what young black men do. Imus said - the following day - that he was making a sarcastic point that blacks are often unfairly targeted by police. “What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason, and I mean there's no reason to arrest this kid six times," he said. "They shoot blacks for no reason." It might have helped his case had he made that point a little clearer at the time he made the original comment.
The U.S. Conference of Mayors met in Miami this past week and resolved to ban bottled water from all city buildings. Right. No resolution to reduce gun violence, no mass transit initiatives, no plans for community redevelopment. Just a ban on bottled water. Way to take a stand.
Saudi Arabia agreed to increase oil production by 300,000 barrels this week. Due to attacks on their oil pipelines, Nigeria decreased production by 300,000 barrels a day. The market yawned and gas prices rose three cents.
New York-based architect David Fisher has unveiled plans to construct an 80-story shape-shifting skyscraper in Dubai. It will be the first building in the world which will be able to continuously alter its physical appearance. Each floor, powered by wind turbines, will reportedly be able to rotate independently, allowing someone to reshape the building according to the shapes he or she finds in their Spaghetti O’s. Units will sell for approximately $3,000 per square foot. No, that is not a misprint. This just goes to prove, you just can’t give rich people money.
Finally, the denials issued by her publicist would seem to confirm reports that British pop-tart Amy Winehouse may have developed emphysema at the tender age of 24. Sigh. According to her father, Winehouse’s chain smoking and use of crack cocaine may have contributed to her condition. Guess that’s why you shouldn’t smoke crack. Let’s not downplay what she’s accomplished here. Amy Winehouse has managed to achieve in a quarter century what takes many people 70 or 80 years to accomplish.
Late last week, in a move that surprised absolutely no one, presidential hopeful Barack Obama announced that he will forego $80 million in public financing and continue to raise record-breaking amounts of money on his own. This drew the ire of the McCain campaign, which wasted no time in labeling Obama a “flip-flopper” on the issue of public financing of political campaigns. According to McCain, Obama promised to accept public financing and abide by the rules of such a campaign if his opponent did the same. Of course, as it always is in politics, the truth is actually a little more nuanced. Obama promised to aggressively pursue an agreement with the opposing candidate to utilize public funding, if the opponent did the same. McCain, the opponent, did not officially accept public financing of his campaign until after Obama declared he would not. But truthfully, the facts are neither here nor there. The essence of the argument is as follows. A long time ago, Obama implied he would accept public financing. At the time he made said nuanced statement, no one anticipated the ridiculous amounts of money that would be raised during this campaign season. The candidates thought this would be a campaign on par with campaigns of the past. Oops. At this point, John McCain can’t buy fundraising, while Obama is growing greenbacks in his back yard. Why would Obama want to be limited to $80 million when he has already raised three times that during the primaries alone? And of course McCain wants to limit his opponent to public financing. He would be fortunate to raise another $80 million without the help of the system.
I guess I’m not as disturbed by Obama’s reversal on public financing than some other people. The purpose of the public financing system is to ensure that the public is not excluded from political influence at the expense of larger, wealthier donors. The Obama campaign has amassed over 1.5 million donors contributing less than $200 each. Sounds like public financing to me. Besides, conservatives should have two reasons to be excited. One, they hate public financing anyway. Because the government shouldn't pay for anything that doesn't blow stuff up, invade people's privacy, or keep out Mexicans. And two, Obama just saved the taxpayers $84 million. What’s not to like?
Candidates need to be careful when throwing around charges of “flip-flopping.” First, “flip-flopping” is a ridiculous word. No one should use it. Second, no one is immune from this type of charge. There isn’t a single politician who has not changed his or her mind on some issue at some point in time. Circumstances change and opinions evolve over time and as evidence becomes available. Now, I’m sure there are legitimate circumstances under which a candidate can be labeled as changing one’s mind for political gain. But if Obama “flip-flopped” on campaign finance, did McCain “flip-flop” on offshore drilling, immigration reform or certain interrogation techniques? There seems to be a fine line between “flip-flopping” and refining one’s position.
Oh, by the way, I'm a little tired of people pretending they don't know anything about Barack Obama's policies, and using that to justify their "uncertainty" about voting for him. If you truly don't know anything, it's because you've intentionally turned him out every time he's tried to tell you. How many policy speeches does he need to give on financial market reform, alternative energy, tax reform, the Iraq war, foreign policy and the like before people will admit he has a plan? How many times does he need to explain that he wants to eliminate income taxes for seniors making less than $50,000 a year, return the capital gains tax rate to between 25% and 28%, increase fuel economy standards, dramatically increase the amount spent on alternative energy, remove up to two brigades from Iraq per month, regulate Wall Street speculators, etc., before some people will admit that they really do know all that stuff and it has little to do with their "uncertainty" about voting for him? If you don't like what Senator Obama stands for, just say so. But don't pretend you don't know what he stands for.
A report issued today revealed that during the past seven years, the Justice Department routinely turned down highly qualified applicants with sparkling resumes from the nation’s finest institutions because they were deemed “liberal” or “Democratic”, and instead accepted less qualified applicants found to be more “conservative.” Is ANYONE remotely surprised by this? Anyone at all? The Bush Justice Department put politics ahead of justice. I’m stunned.
Zimbabwean opposition leader Morgan Tvsangirai has withdrawn from what he terms a “...sham of an election process,” and taken refuge in the Dutch embassy amidst rampant violence and the murder of his party members by persons affiliated with President Robert Mugabe’s ruling party. As a result, Mugabe will be declared the winner of the upcoming “election” this Friday, ensuring the continuation of what may be the most self-destructive African regime of the last quarter century. As usual, the rest of the world, including Zimbabwe’s African neighbors, gave speeches condemning Mugabe’s campaign of violence, but took no action whatsoever to correct the situation. Many question Tvsangirai’s decision to revoke his candidacy so close to an election which could potentially end the 26-year disaster that has been Mugabe’s rule. But people need to understand something. Heroes are still human beings. Tsvangirai has family and friends and co-workers and many others whom are put at risk of life and limb by his candidacy, and he has to be conscious of that fact. It’s not like America where more often that not the worst thing that happens to you when you disagree with the establishment is that you change the channel. At least for now, Tsvangirai lives to fight another day.
Two presidential tracking polls released within the past few days show Barack Obama leading John McCain by 12 to 15 points. These pollsters need to put down the marijuana cigarettes and get themselves a cup of coffee to calm their nerves. Polls should reflect what is happening, not what could or might or should happen. Yes, given all the factors, this is an election Democrats should win in a landslide. But, almost in spite of themselves, the Republicans have managed to nominate the one candidate they had who could give the Democrats a run for their money. Despite seven years of (insert noun /adjective combination here), this country is still closely divided and this will be a close election. Attempting to lull people into false senses of security or panic with voodoo polling does a disservice to this process.
Don Imus once again finds himself waist deep in the big muddy. The apparently 700-year-old Imus has decided to follow his much-publicized episode with the Rutgers women’s basketball team last year with a new racially-charged senior moment involving Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones. In discussing Jones’ multiple arrests with his sportscaster, Imus seemed to imply that the reason Jones has found himself in so much trouble is because that is what young black men do. Imus said - the following day - that he was making a sarcastic point that blacks are often unfairly targeted by police. “What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason, and I mean there's no reason to arrest this kid six times," he said. "They shoot blacks for no reason." It might have helped his case had he made that point a little clearer at the time he made the original comment.
The U.S. Conference of Mayors met in Miami this past week and resolved to ban bottled water from all city buildings. Right. No resolution to reduce gun violence, no mass transit initiatives, no plans for community redevelopment. Just a ban on bottled water. Way to take a stand.
Saudi Arabia agreed to increase oil production by 300,000 barrels this week. Due to attacks on their oil pipelines, Nigeria decreased production by 300,000 barrels a day. The market yawned and gas prices rose three cents.
New York-based architect David Fisher has unveiled plans to construct an 80-story shape-shifting skyscraper in Dubai. It will be the first building in the world which will be able to continuously alter its physical appearance. Each floor, powered by wind turbines, will reportedly be able to rotate independently, allowing someone to reshape the building according to the shapes he or she finds in their Spaghetti O’s. Units will sell for approximately $3,000 per square foot. No, that is not a misprint. This just goes to prove, you just can’t give rich people money.
Finally, the denials issued by her publicist would seem to confirm reports that British pop-tart Amy Winehouse may have developed emphysema at the tender age of 24. Sigh. According to her father, Winehouse’s chain smoking and use of crack cocaine may have contributed to her condition. Guess that’s why you shouldn’t smoke crack. Let’s not downplay what she’s accomplished here. Amy Winehouse has managed to achieve in a quarter century what takes many people 70 or 80 years to accomplish.
6.19.2008
Five Feet High and Rising
How high's the water mama?
The bigger story this week is that the Midwest is under water. Still. Over 1300 city blocks of Cedar Rapids, Iowa are under water, not to mention hundreds of other little towns all across Iowa, Indiana, Minnesota, Wisconsin and now Missouri and Illinois. Rampaging waters have caused what may turn out to be billions of dollars in damage to property, tourism and crops, and even though the the rains have stopped for the time being, swollen rivers are just now reaching stressed levees in other parts of the country. How many people in Iowa and Indiana do you suppose have flood insurance?
The big story this week is that as of 5:00 p.m. Monday afternoon, the State of California began to legally recognize and perform homosexual marriages. A recent ruling by the California Supreme Court struck down the state's ban on homosexual marriage, virtually invalidating any law discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation. Great for same-sex couples wishing to be married. Not-so-great for heterosexuals wishing to prevent same-sex couples from getting married. Thousands of gay couples have either already taken advantage of the new law or are busy making plans for their ceremonies. However, all of the pomp and circumstance might be premature. Opponents of the decision have already collected over a million signatures for a petition to place a constitutional amendment on the November ballot defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Were such an amendment to pass, it would likely invalidate every same-sex union performed between now and then. The county clerk of conservative Bakersfield, California has decided to stop performing all wedding ceremonies, citing the increased budgetary demands of performing same-sex weddings. Apparently it is against the clerk's religious beliefs to certify a homosexual marriage, but not against her religious beliefs to lie about her reasons for not wanting to do so.
The issue with same sex marriage in America seems to be the word "marriage." Polls indicate that a decent majority support the concept of civil unions. But when it comes to marriage, as evidenced by the 26 states which have already amended their state constitutions, most Americans seem disinterested - if not hostile to the idea. The reason is that the word "marriage" is closely associated with religion, and most religions frown on the whole man lying with man deal. So allow me to propose a solution. Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not a constitutionally guaranteed civil right. It is, however, one or both of two things. In the eyes of the state, it is a civil contract between two individuals who agree to maintain a domestic partnership and share certain responsibilities for an unspecified period of time. In the eyes of the church, it is a sacred covenant between a man, a woman and God to share their lives, love and responsibilities. Statistics overwhelmingly indicate that children raised in a two parent household have a much better chance of succeeding in society and place far less of a burden on the resources of the state. Therefore, the state has a compelling interest in promoting a healthy two person civil union to maintain societal stability. But the state has no business involving itself in such an intimate religious ceremony. So, states should issue only licenses for civil unions and leave the marriages to the churches. That way, every couple is equal in the eyes of the law and no religious institution has to recognize or perform a union they believe is wrong in the eyes of God. Everybody wins. Don't they?
Israel and Hamas announced a six month cease fire to take effect this coming Thursday. Right. If there's no shooting on Sunday night we might take them seriously.
In less controversial news, Tiger Woods won his 14th Major title Monday afternoon defeating Rocco Mediate in a sudden death playoff at the U.S. Open in San Diego. The sudden death playoff came following a full 18-hole playoff played right before that, which had followed the traditional four full rounds over the weekend. That's 91 holes of golf! I can barely make it through nine! And the most impressive part of the whole thing is that he did it on one leg and about as much consistency as a five year swinging a stick at a pinata. Coming off of knee surgery Tiger was visibly in serious pain hitting shots off the tee and as a result put the ball all over the course. He double bogeyed the first hole four consecutive rounds. Yet despite all of that he was still able to pull out a victory before announcing he will be taking the remainder of the season off to focus on rehabilitation his knee. There are two ways to look at this win. Either 45-year-old all-round nice guy Mediate jumped from the 158th ranked player in the world to the second best player ever over the course of four days, or Tiger Woods on one leg really is better than everyone else in the field. My money's on number two.
After mounting the greatest comeback in NBA Playoff history in game four, the Boston Celtics embarrassed the Los Angeles Lakers last night to claim their 17 NBA Championship, and first since 1986. With only minutes remaining in the game the Celtics lead by as much as 43 points and ended up grubbing their opponents by 39 points. I have to admit, I haven't cared much about basketball since the end of the Michael Jordan era in the late 90s. And after the Phoenix Suns were eliminated six weeks ago I more or less tuned out of these playoffs as well. But, I did watch the final game and I would like to congratulate Kevin Garnett on the first NBA title of his 13 year career. If anyone deserves a championship, it's Garnett. No one works harder, no one is more intense, and a nicer guy does not exist in the entire league. Oh, and at least the Spurs didn't win again.
Eighteen-year-old Princess Eugenie was reprimanded by the her boarding school following an alcohol-induced incident in which she was caught frolicking naked under the "midnight moonlight" on campus. Umm, there's a princess Eugenie? And her parents named her "Eugenie?" Seriously? Good thing people are no longer executed for looking upon the princess in her birthday suit. That could have lead to a lot of unhappy high school boys.
Finally, Meet The Press anchor and political reporting legend Tim Russert died of a heart attack late last week. As 16-year anchor and Washington bureau chief for NBC News, Russert interviewed everybody who was anybody in politics and never pulled any punches. If you went in to sit for a Tim Russert interview you knew there were going to be questions that you wouldn't want to answer. He loved the news and the newsmakers loved and respected him. He was one of the last of a disappearing breed of journalist. He will be sorely missed. Sunday mornings won't be the same without him.
The bigger story this week is that the Midwest is under water. Still. Over 1300 city blocks of Cedar Rapids, Iowa are under water, not to mention hundreds of other little towns all across Iowa, Indiana, Minnesota, Wisconsin and now Missouri and Illinois. Rampaging waters have caused what may turn out to be billions of dollars in damage to property, tourism and crops, and even though the the rains have stopped for the time being, swollen rivers are just now reaching stressed levees in other parts of the country. How many people in Iowa and Indiana do you suppose have flood insurance?
The big story this week is that as of 5:00 p.m. Monday afternoon, the State of California began to legally recognize and perform homosexual marriages. A recent ruling by the California Supreme Court struck down the state's ban on homosexual marriage, virtually invalidating any law discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation. Great for same-sex couples wishing to be married. Not-so-great for heterosexuals wishing to prevent same-sex couples from getting married. Thousands of gay couples have either already taken advantage of the new law or are busy making plans for their ceremonies. However, all of the pomp and circumstance might be premature. Opponents of the decision have already collected over a million signatures for a petition to place a constitutional amendment on the November ballot defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Were such an amendment to pass, it would likely invalidate every same-sex union performed between now and then. The county clerk of conservative Bakersfield, California has decided to stop performing all wedding ceremonies, citing the increased budgetary demands of performing same-sex weddings. Apparently it is against the clerk's religious beliefs to certify a homosexual marriage, but not against her religious beliefs to lie about her reasons for not wanting to do so.
The issue with same sex marriage in America seems to be the word "marriage." Polls indicate that a decent majority support the concept of civil unions. But when it comes to marriage, as evidenced by the 26 states which have already amended their state constitutions, most Americans seem disinterested - if not hostile to the idea. The reason is that the word "marriage" is closely associated with religion, and most religions frown on the whole man lying with man deal. So allow me to propose a solution. Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not a constitutionally guaranteed civil right. It is, however, one or both of two things. In the eyes of the state, it is a civil contract between two individuals who agree to maintain a domestic partnership and share certain responsibilities for an unspecified period of time. In the eyes of the church, it is a sacred covenant between a man, a woman and God to share their lives, love and responsibilities. Statistics overwhelmingly indicate that children raised in a two parent household have a much better chance of succeeding in society and place far less of a burden on the resources of the state. Therefore, the state has a compelling interest in promoting a healthy two person civil union to maintain societal stability. But the state has no business involving itself in such an intimate religious ceremony. So, states should issue only licenses for civil unions and leave the marriages to the churches. That way, every couple is equal in the eyes of the law and no religious institution has to recognize or perform a union they believe is wrong in the eyes of God. Everybody wins. Don't they?
Israel and Hamas announced a six month cease fire to take effect this coming Thursday. Right. If there's no shooting on Sunday night we might take them seriously.
In less controversial news, Tiger Woods won his 14th Major title Monday afternoon defeating Rocco Mediate in a sudden death playoff at the U.S. Open in San Diego. The sudden death playoff came following a full 18-hole playoff played right before that, which had followed the traditional four full rounds over the weekend. That's 91 holes of golf! I can barely make it through nine! And the most impressive part of the whole thing is that he did it on one leg and about as much consistency as a five year swinging a stick at a pinata. Coming off of knee surgery Tiger was visibly in serious pain hitting shots off the tee and as a result put the ball all over the course. He double bogeyed the first hole four consecutive rounds. Yet despite all of that he was still able to pull out a victory before announcing he will be taking the remainder of the season off to focus on rehabilitation his knee. There are two ways to look at this win. Either 45-year-old all-round nice guy Mediate jumped from the 158th ranked player in the world to the second best player ever over the course of four days, or Tiger Woods on one leg really is better than everyone else in the field. My money's on number two.
After mounting the greatest comeback in NBA Playoff history in game four, the Boston Celtics embarrassed the Los Angeles Lakers last night to claim their 17 NBA Championship, and first since 1986. With only minutes remaining in the game the Celtics lead by as much as 43 points and ended up grubbing their opponents by 39 points. I have to admit, I haven't cared much about basketball since the end of the Michael Jordan era in the late 90s. And after the Phoenix Suns were eliminated six weeks ago I more or less tuned out of these playoffs as well. But, I did watch the final game and I would like to congratulate Kevin Garnett on the first NBA title of his 13 year career. If anyone deserves a championship, it's Garnett. No one works harder, no one is more intense, and a nicer guy does not exist in the entire league. Oh, and at least the Spurs didn't win again.
Eighteen-year-old Princess Eugenie was reprimanded by the her boarding school following an alcohol-induced incident in which she was caught frolicking naked under the "midnight moonlight" on campus. Umm, there's a princess Eugenie? And her parents named her "Eugenie?" Seriously? Good thing people are no longer executed for looking upon the princess in her birthday suit. That could have lead to a lot of unhappy high school boys.
Finally, Meet The Press anchor and political reporting legend Tim Russert died of a heart attack late last week. As 16-year anchor and Washington bureau chief for NBC News, Russert interviewed everybody who was anybody in politics and never pulled any punches. If you went in to sit for a Tim Russert interview you knew there were going to be questions that you wouldn't want to answer. He loved the news and the newsmakers loved and respected him. He was one of the last of a disappearing breed of journalist. He will be sorely missed. Sunday mornings won't be the same without him.
6.12.2008
One of These Things Is Not Like the Other
You’ll have to forgive me, I’ve been a little distracted this week. Who would have thought Lego Indiana Jones would be so much fun? Seriously. How was I supposed to know?
This past Saturday (Sabbath, if you’re Jewish, or Seventh-Day Adventist), Hillary Clinton stepped up the the microphone - 35 minutes behind schedule - and finally conceded her primary defeat to Barack Obama. Sort of. In throwing her support behind Obama, Clinton made sure to retain control over all of her nearly 2,000 delegates by suspending her presidential campaign instead of ending it. A distinction with a significant difference. What exactly she plans to do with said delegates, no one knows. I originally thought she was keeping them to leverage Obama into providing her with whatever it is she now desires. But in trying to determine what that could be, I fail to see what she could possibly gain by taking her battle to the convention floor. Making a spectacle of herself and the party on national television serves only to damage both her reputation and the integrity (whatever’s left of it) of the Democratic Party. However, it is difficult to believe she will be doing everything she can to support Obama, as she says she will, while lording her “18 million votes” over the nominee’s head. Whatever the objective, her intentions will become clear over the course of the next several weeks and months as the presidential race takes shape. At least from this point on, the political combatants will be facing off from opposite sides of the fence.
We’ve learned something about John McCain over the past ten days. If this election boils down to communicating ideas through speeches, McCain can pack it in right now. Public speaking is not his strong suit. He’s quiet, monotone and remarkably inexpressive. His opponent is none of those things. The most intelligent thing McCain did during the past week was to challenge Obama to a series of town hall-style meetings, a format much better suited to his conversational style. But even that is not without risk. Obama is no slouch as a conversationalist, and McCain is going to have to work hard to keep from looking like jolly grampa John up there telling war stories and reminiscing about the good old days. I remember those days. I miss those days.
What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the name Paula Jones? You know what, don’t answer that. Just when you thought it was safe to remember the 90s, President Clinton’s former flings Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones have reared their surgically enhanced faces again. Mistakenly believing they are still relevant, Flowers and Jones have set up a website. Through this website they are attempting to sell themselves - sorry, I mean their stories - to anyone fortunate enough to be living under a rock during the whole impeachment farce. For some reason they believe people will pay $1.99 each for seven minute clips of the two of them discussing their sexual liaisons with the former president in lurid detail. Perhaps there are some masochists out there willing to fork over two dollars for this drivel, but I hope I don’t know any of those people. On some level I find this disgusting, maybe even stomach-churning. For Jones and Flowers to attempt make a nickel off of incidents they at one point labeled sexual harassment is embarrassing at best, horribly despicable at worst and pathetic either way. How long do you suppose it will take for Monica to make a special guest appearance?
Gas prices have hit a new high. Again. The nationwide average for a gallon of regular is now $4.05. Dollars. Not Pesos. It has actually reached the point where people are beginning to alter their behavior. General Motors announced late last week that they are considering discontinuing production of the civilian Hummer brand due to the fact that even people who can afford to purchase this symbol of American excess can no longer justify the cost of dumping fuel into the tank. I have to admit, I will not be sorry to see it go. The first person to point out a positive contribution of the H2 and H3 to this society gets five dollars. (Monopoly money.) Driving through town it’s amusing to see the lengths to which dealers are going to try to move their SUVs off the lots. According to the now ubiquitous energy experts making the rounds on the news and talk show circuits, the demand for oil has been outpacing the supply for many years now. Why did it take American automobile manufacturers so long to figure out they were being left behind? And why did it take so long for them to do anything about it? Chrysler has been manufacturing Flex-Fuel vehicles since at least the early 90s. Why are companies now pretending this is new technology? There is a reason Toyota is poised to be the largest, most-profitable automaker in the world.
Th Midwest is washing away. We may need to rename the Crossroads of America, the Sixth Great Lake Covering What Used To Be Fly-over Country. It would be nice if we could send a little of that rain out to California.
British singer Amy Winehouse (has there ever been a more aptly named celebrity) was caught on videotape singing a racist adaptation of a children's song while drunk out of her mind. Again. Why is this news? If anyone has videotape of Ms. Winehouse doing anything sober, please, don't hold back. That would be newsworthy.
Finally, famous-for-no-good-reason socialite Kim Kardashian told an interviewer that she enjoys being a sex symbol. What moron lied to Kim Kardashian and told her she was a sex symbol? Kim Kardashian is not a sex symbol. She’s merely had sex. There’s a fairly significant difference. Making a fool of yourself in a short skirt on your own “reality” show does not make you a sex symbol. It makes you an embarrassment. Her parents must be so proud.
This past Saturday (Sabbath, if you’re Jewish, or Seventh-Day Adventist), Hillary Clinton stepped up the the microphone - 35 minutes behind schedule - and finally conceded her primary defeat to Barack Obama. Sort of. In throwing her support behind Obama, Clinton made sure to retain control over all of her nearly 2,000 delegates by suspending her presidential campaign instead of ending it. A distinction with a significant difference. What exactly she plans to do with said delegates, no one knows. I originally thought she was keeping them to leverage Obama into providing her with whatever it is she now desires. But in trying to determine what that could be, I fail to see what she could possibly gain by taking her battle to the convention floor. Making a spectacle of herself and the party on national television serves only to damage both her reputation and the integrity (whatever’s left of it) of the Democratic Party. However, it is difficult to believe she will be doing everything she can to support Obama, as she says she will, while lording her “18 million votes” over the nominee’s head. Whatever the objective, her intentions will become clear over the course of the next several weeks and months as the presidential race takes shape. At least from this point on, the political combatants will be facing off from opposite sides of the fence.
We’ve learned something about John McCain over the past ten days. If this election boils down to communicating ideas through speeches, McCain can pack it in right now. Public speaking is not his strong suit. He’s quiet, monotone and remarkably inexpressive. His opponent is none of those things. The most intelligent thing McCain did during the past week was to challenge Obama to a series of town hall-style meetings, a format much better suited to his conversational style. But even that is not without risk. Obama is no slouch as a conversationalist, and McCain is going to have to work hard to keep from looking like jolly grampa John up there telling war stories and reminiscing about the good old days. I remember those days. I miss those days.
What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the name Paula Jones? You know what, don’t answer that. Just when you thought it was safe to remember the 90s, President Clinton’s former flings Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones have reared their surgically enhanced faces again. Mistakenly believing they are still relevant, Flowers and Jones have set up a website. Through this website they are attempting to sell themselves - sorry, I mean their stories - to anyone fortunate enough to be living under a rock during the whole impeachment farce. For some reason they believe people will pay $1.99 each for seven minute clips of the two of them discussing their sexual liaisons with the former president in lurid detail. Perhaps there are some masochists out there willing to fork over two dollars for this drivel, but I hope I don’t know any of those people. On some level I find this disgusting, maybe even stomach-churning. For Jones and Flowers to attempt make a nickel off of incidents they at one point labeled sexual harassment is embarrassing at best, horribly despicable at worst and pathetic either way. How long do you suppose it will take for Monica to make a special guest appearance?
Gas prices have hit a new high. Again. The nationwide average for a gallon of regular is now $4.05. Dollars. Not Pesos. It has actually reached the point where people are beginning to alter their behavior. General Motors announced late last week that they are considering discontinuing production of the civilian Hummer brand due to the fact that even people who can afford to purchase this symbol of American excess can no longer justify the cost of dumping fuel into the tank. I have to admit, I will not be sorry to see it go. The first person to point out a positive contribution of the H2 and H3 to this society gets five dollars. (Monopoly money.) Driving through town it’s amusing to see the lengths to which dealers are going to try to move their SUVs off the lots. According to the now ubiquitous energy experts making the rounds on the news and talk show circuits, the demand for oil has been outpacing the supply for many years now. Why did it take American automobile manufacturers so long to figure out they were being left behind? And why did it take so long for them to do anything about it? Chrysler has been manufacturing Flex-Fuel vehicles since at least the early 90s. Why are companies now pretending this is new technology? There is a reason Toyota is poised to be the largest, most-profitable automaker in the world.
Th Midwest is washing away. We may need to rename the Crossroads of America, the Sixth Great Lake Covering What Used To Be Fly-over Country. It would be nice if we could send a little of that rain out to California.
British singer Amy Winehouse (has there ever been a more aptly named celebrity) was caught on videotape singing a racist adaptation of a children's song while drunk out of her mind. Again. Why is this news? If anyone has videotape of Ms. Winehouse doing anything sober, please, don't hold back. That would be newsworthy.
Finally, famous-for-no-good-reason socialite Kim Kardashian told an interviewer that she enjoys being a sex symbol. What moron lied to Kim Kardashian and told her she was a sex symbol? Kim Kardashian is not a sex symbol. She’s merely had sex. There’s a fairly significant difference. Making a fool of yourself in a short skirt on your own “reality” show does not make you a sex symbol. It makes you an embarrassment. Her parents must be so proud.
6.05.2008
The Hokey Pokey
This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on my friends.
This past Saturday, the Rules & Bylaws Committee (is there any good reason for that word to have three pairs of double letters?) of the Democratic Party met in Washington to decide the fate of the Michigan and Florida primary votes. After much bloviating, rancor and a six hour lunch, they finally decided that they didn’t actually mean what they said six months ago and came to a compromise on the seating of the delegates. The entire Florida delegation will be seated in the proportions in which they were elected, each with half a vote. Michigan’s delegates will be split 69-59 in favor of Senator Clinton, again, each with half a vote. Net gain for Clinton - 4 delegates. Much ado about nothing.
This past Tuesday night, South Dakota and Montana cast their votes, officially wrapping up this interminable primary campaign. However, Senator Clinton’s game of Calvinball continued. The candidates split the final two states by wide margins for each. But by the time the polls closed in South Dakota, a sufficient number of superdelegates had migrated to Obama’s column to put him well over the revised magic number of 2,118. Clinton knew this when she took the podium in New York. Yet instead of acknowledging the reality that Obama had clinched the nomination, she appeared defiant, insisting that she was still the strongest candidate in the race, implying what she has stated previously multiple times - that if only the rules were different, she would have declared victory long ago. Informing the media that “superdelegates are always free to change their minds,” she continued to campaign, though the race was officially over, telling her supporters to visit her website and make their wishes known regarding what they wanted her to do. It is clear that she fully intends to use the delegates she has accumulated to ensure that Barack Obama is constantly reminded from now until November that his toughest opponent is not John McCain, but Hillary Clinton. A less-graceful non-exit strategy I have never seen.
Late Wednesday night, CNN reported that Senator Clinton will indeed “suspend” her campaign this weekend and endorse Senator Obama for president. Until I actually hear those words leave her lips, I have to assume otherwise. Such is the nature of Calvinball. What’s true right now, may not be in ten minutes.
I’m confused by the ardent Clinton supporter. Could I get one of you to help me out, please. I understand that you have/had a lot invested in your candidate and this campaign. But I don’t understand your willingness to abandon your principles, turn your back on everything your candidate stands for and vote against your interests because you’re upset that you lost. Many of you are baby-boomer feminists, whose core issues are universal health care, education and a woman’s right to choose. Are you seriously going to vote for a candidate who doesn’t care to change the current healthcare system and has promised to fill what could turn out to be three Supreme Court vacancies with clones of Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas, simply because the candidate you supported did not end up on the ticket? Seriously? Think about what that means for the issues you have spent your life fighting for. Will you turn your back on your ideals to express your dissatisfaction? Isn’t there a better way to do that than to throw the election to the candidate you have very little in common with? If you are upset with the way the media (read Chris Matthews) has covered Senator Clinton, take it out on the media, not your party’s presidential nominee. There are ways to express your frustration without providing aid and comfort to your enemy.
I am 31-years-old. (Is that right? Really?) I never thought I would live to see the day when a man with dark skin and a name like Barack Obama would have a real, legitimate chance to be President of the United States of America, leader of the free world. I still believe this country will have a female president before it elects a racial minority. But I will be more than happy to revise my assumptions should Obama continue this roller coaster all the way to the White House.
I am Canadian, so I feel I have to do this. A half-hearted congratulations to the Detroit Red Wings on defeating the Pittsburgh Penguins for the Stanley Cup. Maybe now 46-year-old Chris Chelios can finally retire before he’s too old to lace up his own skates.
Actress, best friend of Lenny Kravitz, and all around smokin’ hot babe Gina Gershon vehemently denies a Vanity Fair article claiming she has been having an affair with former President Bill Clinton. In fact, she’s so angry she’s threatening to sue the magazine and the author responsible for the article. I for one am inclined to believe Gina. She’s not the type of woman Bill Clinton has affairs with. She’s beautiful, successful and washes all her dresses after wearing them. Bill would never go for that.
During the French Open this week, Spanish superstar and “Federer killer” Raphael Nadal worked up quite an appetite during one of his matches. Not wanting to leave the court and forfeit the match, Nadal directed some random guy in the gallery to go to the concession stand and get him a sandwich. Several minutes later, errand boy returns - with a sandwich in a bag - which Nadal directed the ball boy to retrieve for him, then promptly consumed it during the next timeout. Leave it to the French to develop court-side catering.
Finally, thieves stole an eight foot tall plaster statue of Jesus from a cross outside a church in Detroit. The reasoning behind the theft remains unknown, although there is some speculation that since the statue was a greenish patina color the thieves may have mistaken it for copper and stolen it to sell from scrap. But more importantly, someone seriously stole a statue of Jesus? Do they know anything about Jesus? Are they aware of his position on things like theft, grand larceny and such? Besides, there are far easier, legal ways to welcome Jesus into your life.
This past Saturday, the Rules & Bylaws Committee (is there any good reason for that word to have three pairs of double letters?) of the Democratic Party met in Washington to decide the fate of the Michigan and Florida primary votes. After much bloviating, rancor and a six hour lunch, they finally decided that they didn’t actually mean what they said six months ago and came to a compromise on the seating of the delegates. The entire Florida delegation will be seated in the proportions in which they were elected, each with half a vote. Michigan’s delegates will be split 69-59 in favor of Senator Clinton, again, each with half a vote. Net gain for Clinton - 4 delegates. Much ado about nothing.
This past Tuesday night, South Dakota and Montana cast their votes, officially wrapping up this interminable primary campaign. However, Senator Clinton’s game of Calvinball continued. The candidates split the final two states by wide margins for each. But by the time the polls closed in South Dakota, a sufficient number of superdelegates had migrated to Obama’s column to put him well over the revised magic number of 2,118. Clinton knew this when she took the podium in New York. Yet instead of acknowledging the reality that Obama had clinched the nomination, she appeared defiant, insisting that she was still the strongest candidate in the race, implying what she has stated previously multiple times - that if only the rules were different, she would have declared victory long ago. Informing the media that “superdelegates are always free to change their minds,” she continued to campaign, though the race was officially over, telling her supporters to visit her website and make their wishes known regarding what they wanted her to do. It is clear that she fully intends to use the delegates she has accumulated to ensure that Barack Obama is constantly reminded from now until November that his toughest opponent is not John McCain, but Hillary Clinton. A less-graceful non-exit strategy I have never seen.
Late Wednesday night, CNN reported that Senator Clinton will indeed “suspend” her campaign this weekend and endorse Senator Obama for president. Until I actually hear those words leave her lips, I have to assume otherwise. Such is the nature of Calvinball. What’s true right now, may not be in ten minutes.
I’m confused by the ardent Clinton supporter. Could I get one of you to help me out, please. I understand that you have/had a lot invested in your candidate and this campaign. But I don’t understand your willingness to abandon your principles, turn your back on everything your candidate stands for and vote against your interests because you’re upset that you lost. Many of you are baby-boomer feminists, whose core issues are universal health care, education and a woman’s right to choose. Are you seriously going to vote for a candidate who doesn’t care to change the current healthcare system and has promised to fill what could turn out to be three Supreme Court vacancies with clones of Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas, simply because the candidate you supported did not end up on the ticket? Seriously? Think about what that means for the issues you have spent your life fighting for. Will you turn your back on your ideals to express your dissatisfaction? Isn’t there a better way to do that than to throw the election to the candidate you have very little in common with? If you are upset with the way the media (read Chris Matthews) has covered Senator Clinton, take it out on the media, not your party’s presidential nominee. There are ways to express your frustration without providing aid and comfort to your enemy.
I am 31-years-old. (Is that right? Really?) I never thought I would live to see the day when a man with dark skin and a name like Barack Obama would have a real, legitimate chance to be President of the United States of America, leader of the free world. I still believe this country will have a female president before it elects a racial minority. But I will be more than happy to revise my assumptions should Obama continue this roller coaster all the way to the White House.
I am Canadian, so I feel I have to do this. A half-hearted congratulations to the Detroit Red Wings on defeating the Pittsburgh Penguins for the Stanley Cup. Maybe now 46-year-old Chris Chelios can finally retire before he’s too old to lace up his own skates.
Actress, best friend of Lenny Kravitz, and all around smokin’ hot babe Gina Gershon vehemently denies a Vanity Fair article claiming she has been having an affair with former President Bill Clinton. In fact, she’s so angry she’s threatening to sue the magazine and the author responsible for the article. I for one am inclined to believe Gina. She’s not the type of woman Bill Clinton has affairs with. She’s beautiful, successful and washes all her dresses after wearing them. Bill would never go for that.
During the French Open this week, Spanish superstar and “Federer killer” Raphael Nadal worked up quite an appetite during one of his matches. Not wanting to leave the court and forfeit the match, Nadal directed some random guy in the gallery to go to the concession stand and get him a sandwich. Several minutes later, errand boy returns - with a sandwich in a bag - which Nadal directed the ball boy to retrieve for him, then promptly consumed it during the next timeout. Leave it to the French to develop court-side catering.
Finally, thieves stole an eight foot tall plaster statue of Jesus from a cross outside a church in Detroit. The reasoning behind the theft remains unknown, although there is some speculation that since the statue was a greenish patina color the thieves may have mistaken it for copper and stolen it to sell from scrap. But more importantly, someone seriously stole a statue of Jesus? Do they know anything about Jesus? Are they aware of his position on things like theft, grand larceny and such? Besides, there are far easier, legal ways to welcome Jesus into your life.
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