Black Monday

Today’s word is “free-fall”. Can you say free-fall? I knew you could.

Did you happen to catch the latest episode of Sub-Prime Crisis today? It started out with the failure of the 150-year-old investment bank Lehman Brothers. After the first commercial it cut to the sale of investment giant Merrill Lynch by the woolly mammoth of banking, Bank of America, then wrapped up with discussion of a private rescue plan for AIG, the largest insurance company in the country - maybe the world. Viewers responded to the episode by water-boarding the stock market to the tune of 504 points. Guess they didn’t care for the writing.

It should now be perfectly clear that John McCain knows about as much about the economy as he knows about the internet, or any of his eight houses. After hearing the news of the Lehman failure and the Merrill Lynch sale this morning, McCain delivered a statement repeating a previously discredited talking point that “the fundamentals of the economy are sound.” Note to John McCain: the financial system IS the fundament of the economy! After Barack Obama kindly pointed out the error of McCain’s ways, McCain revised his statement for a later audience, saying, “the fundamentals of the economy are at risk,” then blamed outdated regulation for the current state of banking. Actually John, the fundamentals of the economy are crumbling around you, and the utter lack of regulation and oversight by those in power (read Republican party) has contributed to the scale of the disaster. Why should anyone believe that you will reform regulation when you were partially responsible for deregulation and lack of oversight in the first place?

Another nugget of Washington rubbish came to us this week courtesy of the Department of the Interior. An internal audit revealed that approximately one quarter of the employees of the Minerals Management Service improperly awarded government contracts and manipulated the accounting in return for illicit cash payments, gifts, alcohol, marijuana, cocaine and sex from the oil industry employees and executives they were supposed to be watching. First, does this surprise anyone? What’s the point of having power if you can’t abuse it, right? Second, at this point, is there any serious difference between this government and an Arizona State fraternity. Lipstick maybe?

Hurricane Ike steamrolled the Texas Gulf coast this past weekend, flooding sections of Houston and almost completely destroying the sandbar of Galveston. The satellite photographs of this monstrosity were frightening as the storm covered almost the entire Gulf of Mexico. And even thought it made landfall as a Category 2 storm, the shear size and scale of Ike brought about widespread damage. As usual, there were several thousand people in Galveston who, in spite of warnings that Ike “could bring certain death” (huh?) refused/decided not to evacuate. Not because they couldn’t afford to, or didn’t have the means to, or had nowhere to go. They just didn’t want to. So now, while the city of Galveston is busy desperately trying to restore basic functionality to their town, they also have to rescue people who shouldn’t be there in the first place. Guess those are the small town values I’ve been hearing about.

Seeking to distract from economic troubles at home, Venezuelan head of state Hugo Chavez expelled the American ambassador from the country and invited Russian military aircraft to Venezuela do participate in combat exercises. This guy really knows how to push buttons, doesn’t he.

Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe has finally reached a power-sharing agreement with opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai. Under the terms of the agreement brokered by neighboring African countries, Mugabe will retain control of the military and the title of President, while Tsvangirai will accept the title of Prime Minister and be responsible for... well, nobody really knows at this point. But even with nothing more than the adoption of titles, Zimbabwe is light-years ahead of where they were even a week ago. By the way, in the time it’s taken you to read this paragraph, Zimbabwean inflation has increased 10,000%.

My NFL thoughts for the week;

The Chargers were completely robbed of a victory in Denver Sunday evening. Not merely pick-pocketed or held up at gunpoint. They were screwed over Enron style.

LaDainian Tomlinson is crushing my fantasy football championship dreams. First Tom Brady, now LT. Is there no justice in this world?

The Seattle Seahawks are the worst good team I have ever seen.

The Kansas City Chiefs are the worst terrible team I have ever seen. The Rams are a close second. Both of them may be worse than the Dolphins were last year.

Yes, they played the Lions, but the Green Bay Packers put 48 points on the board Sunday afternoon. None of which were scored by anyone named Favre.

There should be some kind of rule against playing football in sixty mile-an-hour winds. Not that Cincinnati would have performed any better than they did, but I’m not sure it’s reasonable to ask a 90-pound kicker to kick a 40-yard field goal through uprights blowing 15-degrees from vertical.

If you had told me two weeks ago that the Carolina Panthers would be 2-0 without Steve Smith, I would have asked for some of whatever you were smoking. Maybe I did and don’t remember. Hmm.

It was reported late last week that Al Davis would axe head coach Lane Kiffin win or lose sometime on Monday. Well, the hapless Raiders defeated the exceedingly hapless Chiefs yesterday, and as of 11:08 Monday night, Kiffin is still employed. It is possible Al Davis just forgot what he said and at some point later in the week will fire someone else for not reminding him, but for now, the youngest coach in the league is fortunate (?) enough to still be the youngest coach in the league.

Spectacular display of grit from the Indianapolis Colts, recovering from a miserable three quarters to defeat the Vikings in Minnesota. Worse performance by the Vikings who had six opportunities to put the ball in the end zone and failed. Convert 50% of those opportunities and the Colts go home 0-2. What are they paying all those free-agents billions of dollars for?

Oh, and a note to the Auburn Tigers; 3-2 is not a football score. One more of those and you’re out of the conference.

My Week 2 Superbowl picks (with 4:35 remaining in the Eagles/Cowboys game);
Dallas Cowboys vs. Denver Broncos.

New Kids on the Block will kick off their reunion tour this Thursday night in Toronto. I don’t what's worse, that I mentioned that, or that it's actually true. What are they now, fifty?

Prosecutors appear to have learned from the “mistakes” of the original criminal trial and have seated an all-white jury for O.J. Simpson’s latest debacle. Take that any way you like.

Finally, a high-resolution satellite has been launched (to be used by Google Earth) which can reportedly capture an image of you retrieving your mail in your underwear. Seriously? And we still can’t find Osama?