TGIF

Thank God it’s Finished.

Have you seen the most recent Gillette commercial? The one where Tiger Woods, Roger Federer and Derek Jeter try to “convince” men to dump their old Mach 3 razor and purchase a new Fusion? Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd that Gillette would knock its own product in an attempt to sell its own product. Sorta like the Republican National Convention.

When they weren’t in the throes orgasm over the nomination of Sarah Palin for president... I mean vice president... sorry, the republicans spent their time telling anyone who would listen that “Washington is broken,” and that they are the party best capable of throwing those bums out and changing the way Washington works. I guess it just slipped their minds that they are indeed the bums they are referring to! If Washington is broken - and by their own admission it is - they are the s.o.bs that spent the last eight years f-ing it up! They are the ones who deregulated the mortgage industry leaving no one minding the store. They are the ones who turned the U.S. military into Team America, World Police. They are the ones who turned the Justice Department into the private social club of an under-qualified Attorney General and his band of merry men and woman. They are the ones racking up debt faster than Imelda Marcos in a Payless with a no limit platinum card. For six years they had complete control of Congress and the presidency and did nothing but turn this country into the black sheep of the United Nations. How can they, with any shred of credibility, make the argument that they deserve four more years?

You’ll forgive me if I don’t share the collective orgasm over Sarah Palin’s selection. Turns out she may not be the “maverick reformer” the campaign has set her up to be. (If I hear the word “maverick” from a reporter or campaign operative one more time I’m going to puke.) Seems that she lobbied Congress for $120 million in pork for the 9,000 person town she was mayor of. Oh, and she voted for the “bridge to nowhere” numerous times before - once it became a political hot potato - she voted against it. She also supports the legislative and judicial enforcement of “traditional values”, while apparently incapable of fostering said values in her own home. But Bristol is keeping the baby, so I guess that’s all the qualification Sarah Palin needs.

I hate to say I told you so, but I did. (Actually it’s kinda fun to say it.) The entire Republican narrative regarding Sarah Palin has been that the media is sexist and out to get her. No one can question her credibility or qualifications without being liberal or sexist. These, of course, are the same Republicans (Palin included) who are on tape saying that people like Clinton and Obama should quit whining about sexism and racism, suck it up and pretend everything is fair. Hmm. Guess that only applies to liberals. Today’s word is, double standard. Can you say, double standard? I knew you could.

Apparently I wasn’t the only person tweaked by the GOP mockery of community organizers. (Although watching Rudy Giuliani, a man who couldn’t organize himself into a presidential candidate assault community organizers was laugh-out-loud funny.) A caller to a radio talk show on Friday morning offered an interesting thought. She claimed to a Christian, offended by Palin’s digs at community organizers. “Jesus was a community organizer,” she said, “Pilate was a governor.” I think that statement stands on its own.

Could someone please define “small town values” for me? Better yet, explain to me why small town values are apparently superior to quaint hamlet values or big city values? As far as I know, people in small towns and quaint hamlets and big cities all get up every morning to go to work, hope their kids learn something in school, and pray they don’t get sick and have to burn their life-savings on medical treatment. Are small town votes more valuable than big city votes? If small towns are so fantastic, why hold the convention in a metropolitan area of 3 million people, with four-star hotels, five-star restaurants and adult entertainment? I mean, they have those things in small towns too, right? Why not hold the convention in Clear Lake, Iowa, or Yazoo City, Mississippi, or even Shiprock, New Mexico? I’m sure they would like nothing more than 15,000 city slicker Republicans descending on them, looking to share in their small town values.

In a completely unrelated incident, football started this past Thursday. Now I finally have something to do Sunday afternoon other than mow the lawn and rock back and forth autistically in my dining room chair lamenting the imminent start of the work week.