Royale with Cheese

I went to a birthday party for a four-year-old boy this past Sunday. I'm sure I'll have recovered by Thursday.

Over the past couple weeks we’ve heard a lot about this “anger” that seems to be prevalent throughout the country. That people are mad as hell, and they aren’t going to take it anymore. Okay. People are angry. I guess that’s okay. Although things are looking better, they aren’t like they were back in the good ol’ days of 2007 or 2008. A lot of people are underemployed and a lot more people are out of work altogether. Many approaching the age of retirement saw their savings evaporate over the past 16 months (although those who chose to remain in the market after the collapse of 2008 have already regained about 60% of what they lost), and millions of people either find themselves evicted from or trapped in homes they can neither afford to sell or pay for. Times are tough all over, and sometimes anger can be a great motivator for innovation and improvement. But most of the time, anger is the catalyst for poor decision-making. Anger is an emotional response, and angry people often react in a manner detrimental to their own self-interest. Nothing inherently wrong with being angry. Be very wary of acting out of anger.

A new poll caught my attention yesterday. A majority of those polled want the government to “do something” about the deficit. A majority of those polled also want the government to “do something” about job creation. I can’t decide whether this reflects a simple misunderstanding of basic economics, or a demand that this administration attempt to implement two diametrically opposed policies at the same time. I am inclined toward the former. Whether you want the government to stimulate job growth by spending on job creation programs, or reducing the tax rate, neither of those things can be accomplished without increasing the federal deficit. Spending increases borrowing, while tax cuts reduce revenue. I realize economics is probably not required high school curriculum, but it’s not difficult to see that neither of those actions does anything to reduce the deficit. Yet somehow the President is just supposed to wave his arms and make all the scary bad things go away. Is the deficit a concern? Absolutely. Does it need to be eliminated tomorrow? Absolutely not. The best time to tackle the federal debt is when the economy is growing, when there are enough employment opportunities for those who want to take advantage of them. Funny. No one seemed to care about deficits during the early and mid-portions of the past decade, when the government was dramatically reducing revenues while spending 10 billion dollars of borrowed money a month on wars. Wonder what the difference was?

Last Friday the United States Supreme Court overturned 100 years of legal precedent in striking down campaign finance laws restricting the amount of money corporations and unions can spend on election campaign advertising. Writing for the majority, Justice Kennedy claimed that the U.S. Constitution prevents Congress from passing any law abridging the freedom of speech, be it individual or corporate. Essentially, the Court declared that corporations are living, breathing, bleeding human beings, deserving of Constitutional protection. With all due respect to the eminent domain decision of several years ago, this is the worst piece of drivel to come out of the Supreme Court in the last decade. The Bill of Rights is supposed to apply to people, offering them legal protection from the actions of their government. According to another founding document, said rights are inalienable, endowed upon us by our creator. I guess I wasn’t aware that Genesis 2: 21 & 22 actually read, “And the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He AT&T, and brought her unto man.” If the First Amendment applies to corporations and unions, why not the Second Amendment? Or the Eighth? Or the Fourteenth? Does Microsoft have the right to bear arms? Is IBM protected against cruel and unusual punishment? If I incorporate myself, can I legally vote twice? Hmm. Perhaps I’ll file those papers tomorrow.

The All-American Basketball Alliance announced last week that it hopes to begin its inaugural season in June, with a team from Augusta, Georgia filling one of the spots in the 12-city league. The problem? Only natural-born American citizens with two Caucasian parents will be eligible to play. “There’s nothing hatred (sic) about what we’re doing,” says Don “Moose” Lewis, commissioner of the AABA. “But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.” Sigh. Every time I think we’ve made a little progress as a nation, along comes “Moose” Lewis. Lewis claims that he wants to emphasize fundamental basketball, not the “street-ball” played by “people of color.” You know, things like dribbling, passing and shooting, which are all apparently absent from the National Basketball Association. To his credit, the mayor of Augusta, Deke Copenhaver, has refused to give the Moose the time of day. I’m not going to dignify any of the claims of the Moose by either repeating them here or responding to them. I raise the issue simply to make the following point. There is no shortage of people in this country poorly attempting to mask their disdain for those different from themselves with mantras of returning to “fundamentals.”

My NFL Thoughts for Conference Championship Weekend:

Wow. After two consecutive weeks of duds, football fans finally got their money’s worth.

After falling behind early to this year’s Cinderella story New York Jets, Peyton Manning snapped out of his funk and torched the best defense in football for 24 unanswered points and a 30-17 victory. Four months ago, no one outside of Indianapolis had ever heard the name Pierre Garçon. Last Sunday, the son of Haitian immigrants looked like the second coming of Randy Moss, embarrassing every Jets defender not named Darrelle Revis. The Colts are headed to their second Super Bowl in four years, and it is not a stretch to say that this team is substantially superior to the 2006 championship team. If one were to include Anthony Gonzalez - who is currently on injured reserve - the Colts have four wide receivers that could start at number one or two receiver for any other team in the league. It’s going to be ridiculously difficult for any defense to contain this team.

For the first time since their inception in 1967, the New Orleans Saints are on their way to the Super Bowl. The Saints defeated Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings 31-28, in an overtime thriller that left the Vikings asking anyone who would listen for the number of the truck that ran them over. Minnesota fumbled the football SIX times (lost three of them), and threw two interceptions, several of which - especially the final interception - were directly responsible for keeping New Orleans in the game. The Saints played far from a perfect game, the normally precise Drew Brees missing receivers and tossing flutter-balls, but their defense was aggressive and opportunistic enough to pull them through.

I feel bad for Brett Favre. And not just because I lived in Wisconsin for four years. At 40-years-old, Favre had his best statistical season EVER, better at four decades than every active NFL quarterback in his 20’s and most in their 30’s. I think it's a fraud that Manning was selected league MVP in light of the season Number Four had. He is the NFL icon of a generation and he will certainly be missed if he ever decides to retire. But as awful as I feel for Favre, I am elated for the Saints. Favre has won a Super Bowl and played in two, and his place in Canton awaits him. The city of New Orleans has been through so much, and the Saints have been so bad for so long, that I can’t help but root for them to win this one. If you listen to the New Orleans radio announcers call the winning field goal, you can hear the torrent of relief in their voices. All the pent-up frustration and anguish of 40 losing seasons and dozens of failed draft picks and fans sitting in the stands with paper bags over their heads and a Superdome full of Katrina refugees came flooding out all at once in wails of joy. “Pigs have flown,” one announcer cried. “Hell has frozen over! The Saints are going to the Super Bowl!” Amen.

My Super Bowl prediction: Indianapolis Colts 35, New Orleans Saints 21.

Finally, the U.S. Marine Corp. admitted to being “concerned” that Trijicon, a Michigan-based manufacturer of optical sight devices for firearms, stamps numerical references to Bible verses on the hardware it supplies to the military. Apparently, the verses referenced carry the common theme of Jesus being the light of the world. Now, exactly why that needs to be embossed on the mount of a sniper rifle scope continues to elude me, but perhaps I’m just missing something. Maybe its a Pulp Fiction thing, you know, when Jules (Samuel Jackson) is being held up in the diner and he explains to Ringo (the robber) why he should hand over the gun and walk away and says the following;

“There's this passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." I been saying that s&^! for years. And if you heard it, that meant your ass. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was some cold-blooded s&^! to say to a muthaf$#&@% 'fore I popped a cap in his ass.”

I always found the idea of someone quoting scripture prior to taking a life disturbing. I don’t see how inscribing scriptural references onto a lethal weapon is any less bizarre.

Boiling Rage

We have a freezing fog warning tonight. I am thirty-three years old, and have lived in such places as Winnipeg, Manitoba, Oshawa, Ontario, and Berrien Springs Michigan. Never in my life have I heard of freezing fog before today.

Right off the top, condolences to the Haitian people. Last week their capital Port-au-Prince - and by extension their entire nation was rocked by a 7.0 earthquake, leveling about 50% of the capital and resulted in the deaths of what could amount to hundreds of thousands of people. Haiti was already the poorest country in the hemisphere prior to this disaster and things can only get worse from here, at least in the short term. The good news is that there has been a swift and robust international aid effort supplying both search and rescue manpower and desperately needed resources. It is true that rescue efforts have been hampered by earthquake damage as well as the state of - or lack of existing infrastructure, but at least there is an effort. We all need to understand that if there is such thing as ideal conditions under which to run an aid effort, these ARE NOT those conditions, so as much as we’d like to believe that we can work miracles, get food and water and shelter and medicine and search and rescue to everyone in need the moment they need it, we may have to accept that we can’t. Millions of dollars have already been donated to the relief effort with millions more still to come, and even more pledged for long-term rebuilding efforts. Hopefully this time we’ll be able to leave Haiti in better condition than we found it.

There is an episode of the Simpsons in which, after enduring particularly egregious torment from Bart, Lisa responds with the following: “Well, I’m just going to start kicking my legs like this, and if you happen to get in the way, that’s your problem!” To which Bart then replies, “Oh yeah? Well I’m just going to start swinging my arms like this, and if I happen to hit you, that’s your fault!” Unfortunately, that seems to be a fairly accurate representation of the American electorate right now.

Tuesday evening, Republican state senator Scott Brown defeated Democratic Attorney General Martha Coakley for the U.S. Senate seat formerly occupied by the late Ted Kennedy - a seat Democrats have held for almost 50 years. Coakley’s defeat gives Republicans their 41st vote, enabling them to filibuster any and every piece of legislation from now until at least January of 2011, depending on the outcome of the midterm elections. And make no mistake about it, that is precisely what they intend to do. Congratulations Democrats. You have somehow managed to screw this up - again.

If you appreciate this development, good for you. Congratulations, you are a winner. Odds are that for at least the next 11 months, you will act like one. If you happen to be disappointed by this development, I’m sorry. My condolences, you are a loser. Chances are you got that way by failing to act like a winner for the past 11 months. Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of blame to go around. But after said blame has finished making the rounds, it can all come back to one place, the Democratic Party. They can blame the economy, they can blame Republican obstructionism, they can blame the blue moon on New Year’s Eve, but the fact is they have no one to blame but themselves. One year ago this President had a 70% approval rating, Democrats in Congress were polling well above 50% and their opposition was stuck in the low 20s with nowhere to go but down. So to kick things off, they rolled out a can’t-miss Democratic proposal, healthcare reform. Everybody in the country knew the system was broken, everybody agreed it needed to be fixed, and an overwhelming majority claimed they trusted Democrats more than Republicans to fix it. Democrats extended invitations to their opposition to provide input on the impending legislation, loading the bill with amendment after amendment demanded by GOP representatives and dropping nearly every single initiative favored by their own members more liberal members in an effort to win bipartisan support. But it quickly became evident that regardless of what was in the bill, regardless of how favorable it was to Republican interests, not a single Republican ever intended to vote for it. At the very moment that truth became evident, the Democratic Party should have re-written the legislation the way they wanted it, closed ranks and passed a bill they were happy with (or at least content with), sold it to their constituents and moved on to other business. Ah, if wishes were fishes.

Instead, they proceeded as though this legislative session were business as usual. They debated and conferenced and wrangled some more, until they left for August recess without a coherent piece of legislation. This allowed the opposition to exaggerate, implicate and fabricate all sorts of things that were or not in or accomplished by the bill that did not yet exist. Four weeks later public opinion had turned against the non-existent bill and the Republicans never looked back. Instead of learning the lesson of August, closing ranks, quickly passing a bill they were content with and moving on to other things, they allowed their discussions to drag on for 120 more days before Democrats in the Senate finally came to agreement on a bill completely different than the ones their colleagues in the House had already passed. By this time the GOP had managed to take the shapeless, formless underlying anger at the now improving economy and direct it toward Democrats, claiming their decent management of terrible circumstances set the country on the expressway to Communism and the only way to derail the train is to kill healthcare reform - and the rest of the Obama presidency. Unfortunately, because intellectual laziness is so much easier than patience and intellectual diligence, a large portion of voters - at least in Massachusetts - seem to have bought into whatever empty packaging the GOP is selling. Sure, Martha Coakley was a weak candidate, uninterested in doing many of the things most candidates know they have to do. But honestly, Massachusetts is the most liberal state in the union. A monkey in pants should have been able to defeat any Republican fielded against it. Turns out that 2010 may indeed look a lot like 1994. So much for progress.

Both Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh said some pretty stupid things last week regarding the situation in Haiti. But I’m not going to give either of those yahoos any more ink than they’ve already had. Instead I’d like to focus on another non-story that broke last week. It came to light in a newly released 2008 campaign book that leading up to the Democratic primary, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid encouraged Barack Obama to run for president, in part because he was “light-skinned” and “had no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.” Republicans immediately labeled Reid a racist and demanded he resign his position as majority leader. Reid apologized to the President and when nothing more came of the “scandal” Republicans began to complain of a double standard. They insisted Reid was being given a pass for his “racism,” while former Republican Majority Leader Trent Lott was not granted the same leeway. This story serves to prove that not only does the Republican Party have a problem with race, they don’t even understand WHY they have a problem with race. At a birthday party for the late Republican Senator and former presidential candidate Strom Thurmond, Lott offered a toast, during which he made the statement that he felt it was unfortunate that Thurmond had not been elected president, and that if he had been, the country would be better off now. The problem? At the time Thurmond ran for president, he was an outspoken segregationist, a staunch opponent of civil rights, and a racist in the mold of Alabama Governor George Wallace. Republicans tried to equate advocation of a segregationist president with an old man’s ineloquent, outdated statement of an arguable fact. There are many people in this country - black and white - who will tell you that for a black man to become president in America today, he MUST have a lighter complexion and speak the queen’s english. Nothing less would be enough. The difference between the two statements is, pardon the pun, black and white. What Harry Reid said was politically incorrect. What Trent Lott said was racist.

It seems the only people less capable of succeeding than Democrats are the brass at NBC. Four months ago the peacock network moved Jay Leno to 10:00 p.m., Conan O’Brien to 11:30 p.m. and eliminated all of their 10:00 p.m. dramas in an attempt to cut costs and increase ratings. They have accomplished neither. In fact, they have accomplished exactly to opposite. Ratings plummeted so much that local affiliates revolted, demanding that the network return to the previous format or said affiliates would simply refuse to carry NBC’s programming. Message received. NBC has reportedly paid Conan $40 million to leave the network, clearing the way for Leno to return to the 11:30 p.m. time slot. I couldn’t care less about NBC’s late night line-up, but there is an interesting aspect to this story. With all the prognosticators talking about how the internet is destroying / has destroyed network television, I’m a little surprised people cared enough about their 10:00 p.m. dramas to mount a revolt. I was told television was dead. Apparently, rumors of its demise have been greatly exaggerated.

My NFL thoughts for Divisional Playoff Weekend:

Just like Wild Card Weekend, football fans were treated to three duds and one entertaining game.

Fresh from their week off, the well-rested New Orleans Saints, with the help of a completely retooled Reggie Bush, lit up the Arizona Cardinals defense for 45 points in their 45-14 victory. Over the span of two games the Cardinals gave up a total of 90 points. The reason the Cardinals made it to the Super Bowl last year was because they suddenly figured out how to play defense the moment the playoffs started. Whatever they learned last year they forgot last Saturday.

Forty-year-old Brett Favre and his Minnesota Vikings put on a clinic in the Metrodome last Sunday, wiping the astroturf with the Dallas Cowboys 34-3. The Cowboys, who had scored 75 point points over their last three games moved the ball well early on, but then just seemed to fold once the Vikings defense turned up the pressure. After the best statistical season of his career, Favre threw for four touchdowns, including a late fourth down toss that drew the ire of Cowboys linebacker Keith Brooking, who expressed his displeasure at what he termed a “classless act” by stalking over to the Minnesota sideline and barking at the back of several purple jerseys. Funny. I didn’t see Brooking talking about class when his team defeated the Philadelphia Eagles 24-0 and 34-14 in two consecutive weeks. Brooking’s complaint always tweaks me the wrong way. This is professional football. The object of professional football is to score points. If you don’t want your opponent to score points, stop him from scoring. It is not his responsibility to lay down and quit to keep you from looking bad.

Two weeks ago Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco completed 4 of 10 passes for a grand total of 34 yards, yet his team still trounced the New England Patriots 33-14. He was less fortunate last week. The Colts came out off their bye week sharp enough to defeat the Ravens 20-3, but the game was deceptively more intriguing than the score might indicate. As well as Indianapolis played, they got more than a little help from their opponents. Ravens all-star safety intercepted Peyton Manning twice in three consecutive passes, but fumbled the ball away once on the return and relinquished it the second time due to a pass interference penalty called on a teammate. On the other side of the ball, the game just seemed too big for the Baltimore offense which made stupid mistake after stupid mistake until they were no longer in a position to recover.

Finally, the 13 and 3 San Diego Chargers made a swift playoff exit to the 9-7 New York Jets in the most closely contested game of the weekend. Yes, the Jets played remarkably well, I have to give credit where credit is due. But the reason this game was so close was because the Chargers played what might have been their sloppiest game all season, following negative running plays with needless penalties with absent-minded interceptions with missed field goals. San Diego’s all-pro kicker missed all three field goals he attempted, two of which should have been automatic for him and just one or which would have at least tied the game. This isn’t the first time the Chargers have found themselves colossal disappointments. Several years ago, following a 14 and 2 regular season, the Chargers unceremoniously exited the playoffs after surrendering a late lead to the Patriots, which cost the then head coach his job. (It is the first and only time in my memory a coach has been terminated after a season in which he won 87% of his games.) Most in the media, and everyone in Southern California was convinced this would not be a repeat of that 2005/2006 season. But I guess that’s why we play the games.

My Super Bowl Predictions for Conference Championship Weekend:
Indianapolis Colts vs Minnesota Vikings.

Finally, last week, former Illinois Governor Rod “the Hair” Blagojevich stated, in an interview with Esquire magazine, that he was, “blacker than Barack Obama.” Blago went on to elaborate, saying that he shined shoes, grew up in a five bedroom apartment, and had a father that owned a laundromat in a black neighborhood, all of which he felt made him more of a part of the black experience than the actually black Barack Obama. How incredibly boring would our politics be without characters like Rod Blagojevich?

And A Happy New Year

Happy New Year everybody! Here’s to 365 brand new days of the same old thing.

It’s snowing here. About 22 inches since last Friday, and it is expected to continue snowing until at least Thursday night. Did I mention that I hate snow? You know, I hear Seattle’s nice this time of year.

To kick off the New Year on the right foot, the city/state of Dubai christened what is officially the world’s tallest skyscraper today. Topping off at a ridiculous 2,717 feet (828 metres, for my Canadian readers) and 1.5 billion dollars, the Burj Khalifa—formerly the Burj Dubai—shatters the previous record by 1,047 feet and, well, a whole lot of money. What makes this story interesting is that Dubai is FLAT BROKE. Only five weeks ago the emirate requested a six month reprieve on a $3.5 billion interest payment when it became evident that it was in danger of defaulting on somewhere between $59 and $80 billion in loans. But, I guess $1.5 billion is chump change when you’re already in for $80 billion, right?

Over the holiday weekend, radio personality Rush Limbaugh was admitted to hospital with severe chest pains he thought might be a heart attack. Subsequent tests revealed no heart attack had been suffered. Probably just gas. Hot air. Lots of it.

I have to preface the next segment with full disclosure. I have attended private schools my whole life. I am not rich and I never have been. Neither has my family. In fact, if you ask my parents they will tell you all about walking uphill both ways to school in the snow all year round and living paycheck to paycheck and all that good stuff working people have to do to sustain themselves and their tenuous position in society. Nevertheless, I attended private schools because my parents decided that would be best for me. And somehow, (you’d have to ask them how because I still have no idea), we always managed to find a way to pay for it while also paying taxes to support the public school system.

Over the weekend, RNC Chairman Michael Steele called President Obama a hypocrite for sending his children to private school while opposing school vouchers that would help allow other “less fortunate” parents to do the same. First, why is it that every time Michael Steele opens his mouth something stupid comes out? Second—and more importantly—there’s nothing hypocritical about opposing private school vouchers while having kids in private school. Contrary to Steele’s opinion, this isn’t like telling your kids not to smoke pot while rolling a joint in front of them. Any and every child—regardless of means—can attend public school for the opportunity to get an education and succeed in life. Because an educated citizenry is in the best interest of society, we as a country have decided it is worth while to spend some portion of our taxes to fund said public education system. Private school, on the other hand, is a luxury. It is the educational equivalent of consuming bottled water instead of tap water, or lying in a tanning bed instead of on the beach under the sun. Parents who can afford something extra, something above and beyond in terms of curriculum or discipline or whatever else they might be looking for, pay out of pocket to send their kids to a private school of their choice. If we start paying parents to leave the public school system with dollars intended to fund the public school system they intend to leave, we will be left with a public school system completely incapable of performing the task for which it was created. I’m sure that sits just fine with a certain segment of this country. I feel sorry for those people.

My NFL Thoughts for Week 17:

Not a great weekend of football. Only two of the 32 teams really had anything to play for and both of them accomplished their goal of sneaking into the playoffs. Too many “good” teams simply didn’t bother to show up—four of them losing in blowout shutouts to teams they were supposedly able to beat. Three of this coming Sunday’s Wild Card games will be rematches of last Sunday’s blowouts, and only four of the 12 playoff teams head into the post-season looking like they are actually capable of winning a football game. The only real highlight of the weekend was Titans’ running back Chris Johnson becoming only the sixth player in NFL history to rush for 2,000 yards, (finishing the season with 2,005) and the only player to do so on a team without a winning record. Hopefully next week will prove to be a little more interesting.

My Super Bowl Picks for Week 17: Minnesota Vikings vs. San Diego Chargers.

Last week during a news roundtable discussing Tiger Woods, Fox News senior anchor Brit Hume stated that in order to turn his life around, Woods should abandon his Buddhist faith (because it has nothing to offer him) and accept Jesus Christ in order that he might once again do great things. Hume then appeared on The O’Reilly Factor Monday night surprised at the negative feedback he received from journalists and bloggers and others on the Internet regarding his proselytizing. But instead of giving thoughtful consideration to the criticism, he reverted to the Chewbacca Defense: in this case, if people take exception to comments regarding religion, they’ve obviously persecuting you because they hate Jesus. Sigh. I continue to find it difficult to buy the argument that a nation identifying itself overwhelmingly as Christian “persecutes” people who talk about Christ, but for the sake of this discussion that point is moot. It doesn’t seem like an architect should have to explain journalistic ethics to a journalist, but here goes. Brit Hume is a news anchor. In fact, he’s the senior news anchor of a news program on a news network. While he is on the air (at the very least) he is supposed to be an impartial reporter of THE NEWS, not an outspoken advocate of his particular worldview. If Brit Hume wants to be a commentator, like is colleagues Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly or Glen Beck, then he should ask for his own primetime news commentary program during which he would be free from journalistic restraint and welcome to evangelize Tiger Woods or whomsoever else he pleases. Evangelism has no place in the news unless it is the subject of said news. Care to imagine for a moment the mountains of copy and breathless lead-ins Fox News would blast through if a national network news anchor suggested someone look to Allah for salvation?

Finally, on a topic that may interest only me, the roster of the Canadian Olympic Hockey Team was announced last week. I realize that means absolutely nothing to most people in this country, but it’s a pretty big deal to me, and 33 million other Canadians. (That’s all of us by the way, all 33 million of us.) After being utterly humiliated by a seventh place finish in Torino four years ago, this is our chance for redemption. Understand something about Olympic hockey in Canada. This isn’t like the Major League Baseball All-Star Game or the NFL Pro Bowl here in America. People actually care about this. Being selected to the Olympic team is like being asked to sit at the right hand of God. You never turn it down, you are always grateful for the opportunity, and you are expected to win—every single time. The reputation of the greatest player ever to play the game was irreparably tarnished in 2006 when he assembled an Olympic squad that lost games to the likes of Italy, a country with barely enough ice to make a slushie. This year, with the games on home ice, anything less than a gold medal will be considered failure—worse if it comes at the hands of the United States. It’s bad enough to lose an international hockey game, never mind losing that game to a country where non-sense like cup-stacking and competitive eating are regularly shown on television while hockey is not.

You Are Not the Father

Help! I think I’m having a flashback.

On December 22, 2001, Richard Reed attempted to destroy American Airlines Flight 63 from Paris to Miami by detonating explosives formed into his shoes. Four days ago on Christmas Day - just over eight years later - Umar Farouk AbdulMutallab tried to bring down a Delta Airlines Airbus 330 as it was landing in Detroit from Nigeria via Amsterdam by detonating explosives sewn into his underwear. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Aside from the obvious question - how would anyone know that a bomb had gone off in Detroit - why is it still easier for some guy to carry a bomb onboard an airplane in his underwear than for me to get a bottle of water past the security checkpoint? Why? After eight years and billions of dollars we’ve supposedly spent addressing this problem, how is that still possible? Never mind. I think I know the answer. It starts with “inept” and ends with “itude.” Or maybe it starts with “bureau” and ends with “cracy.” Whichever it is, could we please get it fixed now? Please?

In the second most bizarre story of the week, Florida Gators National Championship-winning football coach Urban Meyer officially retired, un-retired then took an indefinite leave of absence in less than 24 hours. Citing health concerns, and specifically stress-induced chest pains and heart palpitations, Meyer informed universal officials on Saturday night that he would be leaving following the team’s upcoming Sugar Bowl appearance. But following practice on Sunday afternoon (and no doubt countless phone calls and e-mails from boosters and school officials, Meyer announced he would not retire after all, but instead take time off to focus on improving his heath, and return at some point in the future when he felt better. Now, 24-hour retirements are nothing new to the University of Florida. Several years ago championship-winning basketball coach Billy Donovan left the school to coach in the NBA, only to return a day later claiming he never really wanted to leave in the first place. But this is a little different in that, by Meyer’s own admission, the problems driving him into retirement/leave of absence are directly related to his job. The stress of his job is causing his heart problems. How is taking a year off supposed to fix that? Coaching in 2011 isn’t going to be any easier than coaching in 2010.

Supermodel-turned Oprah wannabe-turned reality show producer Tyra Banks is wrapping up her Emmy-winning daytime talk show. First Phil Donahue, then Sally Jesse Raphael, then Oprah, and now Tyra? What am I going to do with this additional hour in the middle of my afternoon? At least I’ll still have Maury to tell me whether or not the guy with the six kids by seven different women really is the father of the eighth woman’s mother’s child. I guess daytime talk just isn’t what it used to be.

My NFL Thoughts for Week 16:

All right Saints fans, it is officially time to panic. Even though last week’s loss was preventable, there is no shame in losing to the 10-5, playoff-bound Dallas Cowboys. The same cannot be said for losing to the previously 2-12 Buccaneers. Over the past six weeks the offense has been incapable of stringing together more than 30 minutes of good football, and the defense looks like an 80-pound bespectacled ninth-grader with a “kick me” sign stapled to his back. Thanks to a Minnesota loss on Monday night, New Orleans will have two weeks to right the ship before their next game of any consequence, and are perfectly capable of doing it. But right now, everything is headed in the wrong direction.

With a five point lead early in the third quarter on Sunday afternoon, the Colts pulled Peyton Manning and the rest of the starters from the remainder of the game. A visibly upset Manning proceeded to watch from the sideline as both an easily winnable game and the perfect season swirled down the toilet in the hands of the Colts third string to the New York Jets. The crowd didn’t like it either. In all the years of the Peyton Manning era, I have never heard a righteous chorus of boos directed at the team by their own fans prior to last Sunday. And I don’t blame them. Let’s not sugar coat what happened, Indianapolis ownership and management threw the game. What they did on Sunday was absolutely no different and no less shameful than what Randy Moss did (or did not do) against Carolina two weeks ago. Former Chief’s coach Herman Edwards said it best in a post-game press conference several years ago. You play to win the game. Whether it matters or not. By the Colts logic, every team left out of the playoff race should just stay home next Sunday. If the games don’t matter, why bother playing them?

How about them Bears. Despite numerous injuries, inferior talent and absolutely nothing to play for, Chicago came out possessed last night and handed the reeling Vikings their third loss in four games. Minnesota now finds itself in danger of losing a first round bye they could have wrapped up three weeks ago. Like New Orleans, the flaws in this team have been exposed and the question now is can they find enough band-aids to patch themselves up with before their first playoff game?

The Panthers put up 41 points on the previously playoff-contending New York Giants on Sunday. Where the heck was THIS Carolina team eight weeks ago?

Over the past two seasons, the Detroit Lions and Saint Louis Rams have combined for a total of five victories. Five. In 64 games. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

My Super Bowl Picks for Week 16: San Diego Chargers vs. Philadelphia Eagles.

New York City is on pace to record its lowest murder rate since record-keeping began in 1962. Currently, places like Omaha, Raleigh and Tampa all have more murders per capita than Gotham. Not bad for a city of 10 million.

Finally, White House Budget Office Director, economics wizard and bad toupee wearer Peter Orszag has announced he is engaged to ABC reporter Bianna Golodryga. For those of you unfamiliar with the inner workings of your government, that means that this man,

is engaged to this woman.

Peter Orszag. Bringing hope to nerds and balding men everywhere.

Winter Wonderland

Yesterday was the shortest day of the year. Funny. Work didn’t feel any shorter. Oh well. In the spirit of the season, here are your Christmas quick hits.

After almost a year of futzing around, the Senate is finally ready to vote to continue wrangling. In a brilliant display of politicking, Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson held Democrats hostage until they offered him billions of dollars in healthcare-related bribes in exchange for his 60th and final vote to break the Republican-led filibuster. In addition to Lieberman’s objections, Nelson claimed the language in the Senate bill restriction abortion was not strict enough, favoring instead the language used in the House version. But his hold-out was somewhat of a red herring, if you’ll pardon the cliche expression. Public funding for abortion has never been part of the bill, and Nelson is well aware that the “Blue Dog” coalition of Democrats in the House will refuse to vote for final passage if their version of the abortion language is not included. So it was never necessary for both versions of the bill to have the same abortion language. However, due to the way the Senate functions, Nelson was able to hold the entire process hostage until Democratic leaders payed his ransom.

Following a final vote Thursday morning, the House and Senate versions of the Healthcare reform bill with go to conference committee where they will be spliced together to form one bill messy piece of legislation, which will then be returned to Congress for yet another vote before reaching the President’s desk. That of course means Congressional Democrats will get yet other opportunity to fail at something they’ve been attempting to accomplish since before man landed on the moon. Failure is still very much an option.

Republican Senators have been complaining since the weekend about the bribes offered to Ben Nelson in exchange for his vote. Right. Like they somehow weren’t aware of the way Congress works. Some of the grumbling is due to the fact that they will no longer be able to hold up this round of voting. And the rest might be more credible if those moaning loudest about corruption of the process weren’t busy taking full advantage of said corrupt process for the past ten months. Chief sourpuss South Carolina Republican Lindsey Graham, while complaining bitterly about all the “pork” being written into the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (stimulus bill) this past February, inserted hundreds of millions of dollars of his own “pork” into a bill he never intended to vote for. On some level it feels as if the criticism of Nelson’s deal is a little bit of sour grapes. Truth is, any one of 40 Republican Senators could have gotten the same deal Nebraska received - maybe even better. I’m sure there would have been some premium attached to the only Republican vote for a Democratic bill. Instead, the GOP opted for a policy of “just say no.” It remains to be seen where that will leave them as the economy picks up in the coming months.

The Department of Transportation has issued new rules regarding air travel delays. Among them is a mandate that passengers onboard an airplane stranded on the tarmac must be allowed to return to the gate and deplane if the problem preventing take-off lasts longer than three hours. The changes come in response to horror stories reported earlier this year about passengers being stuck on airplanes without air conditioning and overflowing toilets for up to eight hours, while the airlines did nothing but make excuses as to why it would be impossible for them to reform their practices. Amazing how the impossible becomes possible when lawsuits are threatened.

The World Conference on Climate Change in Denmark wrapped up last week with a global agreement to..., well..., work toward an agreement. Sigh. Ten years ago in Kyoto, world leaders decided that over the next decade they would determine a target for reduction of greenhouse gases and a global temperature rise limit, and fold them into a binding treaty they would sign this year in Copenhagen. Ten years later, nothing has been resolved. Lofty goals have been set, and promises have been made, but no one is winning to codify anything in writing. So, after two weeks of haggling, world leaders finally agreed that they couldn’t agree, and vowed to do the same thing they vowed to do ten years ago - keep talking. What’s the definition of insanity? Repeating the same action while expecting a different result? Head, meet wall.

In what was perhaps the most bizarre story of the week, authorities in Poland awoke last Friday morning to discover the infamous iron sign above the entrance to the Auschwitz concentration camp had been stolen. Police did manage to recover the sign two days later, cut into three pieces and stuffed in the back of a car. Five men have been arrested in connection to the theft. I guess I didn’t realize there was a market for concentration camp signage.

Around the NFL, Week 15:

The Colts won again, and the Saints lost their first. That, in combination with my three point elimination from my fantasy football league playoffs totally killed my weekend. New Orleans can make it up to everyone by being the last team standing on February 3rd.

Despite the Colts perfect record, the San Diego Chargers might be the best football team this week, and going into the playoffs. They are certainly the only team in the AFC capable of knocking off Indianapolis.

After their loss to previously one-win Tampa Bay, I’m almost ashamed to admit I purchased a Seahawks jersey during my trip out there two weeks ago. I mean come on! The Bucs? Even losing to Cleveland or Kansas City would have been more respectable.

Six months ago the Chicago Bears traded one Kyle Orton to Denver for Jay “the Messiah” Cutler. Every single pundit waxed poetic about how the Bears were now an instant contended and that the Broncos obviously got the short end of the stick. Turns out Denver scored a fairly consistent passer and a playoff spot, while Chicago wound up with the league interception leader and a share of the NFC cellar with Detroit. Oops.

The bloom is off the rose in Minnesota. The Vikings dropped another game to a mediocre team, Adrian Peterson was less than impressive - again, the defense gave up big plays to a backup quarterback, and the legendary quarterback is feuding with the coach. Don’t be surprised if this team is picked off before the conference championship.

The Cincinnati Bengals lost wide receiver Chis Henry last week after he fell from a moving vehicle and later died from his injuries. Even though they lost to San Diego on Sunday, they played inspired football in Henry’s honor, and will be a serious contender for the title in the weeks to come. These are not the same old Bengals.

My Super Bowl picks for Week 15; New Orleans Saints vs. San Diego Chargers.

Finally, Merry Christmas everyone! Or, Happy Holidays. Whichever is more applicable. And, between stuffing yourself with Christmas pudding and stuffing the trunk of the car with presents, don’t forget to spend a little time with the people you care about. Those are the things you’ll remember long after you’ve worn holes in that new sweater grandma gives you.

How High?

I swear I've seen this movie before.

Last week Senate Democrats announced they had reached a deal which would allow them to move forward on healthcare legislation. They would drop the “public option,” replacing it instead with a combination of an early buy-in provision for medicare and a nationwide private plan administered by the same agency that handles healthcare plans for members of Congress. Apparently upset that he wasn’t hugged enough during the process, Joe Lieberman has decided - again - that he will vote with Republicans to kill the bill. At this point it’s a little difficult to understand the rationale of the senior senator from Connecticut, as the reasons for his discontent seem to change depending on what he’s had for breakfast. (As an aside, Democrats probably should have seen trouble coming when they saw Lieberman campaigning against now President Obama a year ago.) It has nothing to do with him representing his constituents, since he isn’t - Connecticut residents support healthcare reform with a “public option” by a margin of nearly two to one. So his motivations are left to speculation. I choose to speculate that his opposition has something to do with his defeat in the 2006 Democratic primary, but that may or may not be accurate.

In a way, Republicans relish Democrats in power, because Democrats can always be counted on to cannibalize one another. Like the winners they are, Congressional Democrats have managed to take an issue they easily had majority support for at the beginning of the process and run it into the ground. Approval and disapproval ratings for reform have virtually flipped since September, due in no small measure to their inability to agree on a policy and success at alienating their base. And with so much time invested in the process, failure to pass a reform bill would spell disaster for the party. So, they leave themselves with two options. They can capitulate to Lieberman’s demands, strip out the public option and the medicare buy-in and the national private option completely neutering the bill, pass a 2,000 page paperweight and try to patch the holes in years to come. Or, they can revert to the bill that passed the first vote, tether the public option to some sort of trigger mechanism thereby courting Olympia Snowe’s vote to reach the cloture vote and kick Lieberman to the curb. Whichever road they decide to take, it is clear that after the vote - if there is one - senate Democrats must re-evaluate Lieberman's position and influence in the Democratic caucus.

After healthcare reform failed under the President Clinton during the 90’s, conventional wisdom was that the failure was due to Congress largely being left out of the picture. As healthcare reform goes down in flames in 2008, the consensus seems to be that the impending doom is a result of the President allowing Congress to take the lead in shaping the bill. The common denominator here appears to be Congress.

In other news, the Congressional.... I’m sorry. I was distracted by Alicia Keys on television. Wow.

In an interview with Tavis Smiley on PBS last week, Jesse Jackson spent much of his time discussing a developing feud between the President and the Congressional Black Caucus. Apparently the caucus - and the reverend - feel that the White House has not done enough to help African Americans weather the recession. They have threatened to hold up and/or defeat aspects of Obama’s legislative agenda unless he responds to their concerns. Listening to the interview I couldn’t help but get the impression that what the activists want is for the President to propose and support legislation specifically targeting black people. Sigh. I guess it was only a matter of time before this issue cropped up. And in some respect it’s no different from issues resulting from any other election. When 95% of a voting block helps elect a particular candidate, that block expects their concerns to be addressed. But it is worth reminding Reverend Jackson and the Congressional Black Caucus that Barack Obama is President of the United States of America, not President of the United States of Black America. He cannot play favorites. Whatever policies he initiates must apply to everyone, not just certain segments of the electorate. This President will be held responsible for lifting the entire country out of economic catastrophe, not simply those with which he shares certain characteristics.

It was a good news/bad news kind of week for Mark Sanford last week. Over the past several months, the Governor has spent much of his time trekking around the state apologizing for misusing public funds to see his mistress/soul mate in Argentina. Last week, while the South Carolina legislature voted against his impeachment, his wife did something wives of politicians seldom do - she filed for divorce. Jenny Sanford decided that in the wake of her husband’s much publicized affair, the time had come for her to move on without him. Can’t say I blame her. Mark Sanford is term limited and is required to leave office in January of 2011. No word on whether or not he plans to relocate to South America. I hear it’s nice that time of year.

Last Friday President Obama spent the four hours of daylight available in Norway this time of year accepting his Nobel Peace Prize. Like most other awards, it is customary for the winner of the prize to deliver an acceptance speech, and deliver he did. According to many pundits on both ends of the political spectrum, it was his finest rhetorical hour since his reflections on race from Philadelphia during the campaign. While offering a vigorous defense of the role of war and particularly American military power in a dangerous world, the President also made a spirited case for the non-violent pursuit of peace and the power of individuals to affect positive change through dialogue and debate. Some liberals - perhaps some members of the Nobel committee - while moved by the plea for peace through non-violence, were disappointed by the defense of armed conflict under certain circumstances and probably wished they could rescind the award. However, some conservatives - Newt Gingrich for example - while dismissing the plea for non-violent peace, were surprised and impressed by Obama’s eloquent defense of a “just” armed conflict. Neither of these reactions are unexpected. What is surprising however, is the surprise.

During the campaign, too many people were so busy seeing what they wanted Barack Obama to be, that they failed to see Barack Obama as he actually is. This President is an idealistic pragmatist. He is not now and never has been a pacifist. From the very beginning he based his presidential campaign on the idea that while Iraq was the wrong war, Afghanistan was the right war and ought to be prosecuted judiciously and effectively. When challenged during a Democratic primary debate he stood by his statement that if the United States possessed actionable intelligence regarding the location of terrorists inside Pakistan’s borders, the United States should take military action to kill or capture those suspects, even if Pakistan refused to grant permission to cross the border. However, it is also clear that he believes war must be the last resort, turned to only AFTER EVERY diplomatic avenue has been explored and exhausted. “Supporting the troops” is as much about not placing them in harms way as it is about protecting them once they are in harms way.

According to Oscar Wilde, the test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in a mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. Very few public personalities perform this task better than Barack Obama. His Nobel acceptance speech was a perfect example of one adult talking to other adults as though we are capable of understanding concepts too long to fit on a bumper sticker. Writers far more articulate than I have already expounded upon the essence of the speech, so I refer to you to one of my favorites, Andrew Sullivan of The Atlantic, for deeper analysis. If you take the time to read it you will not be disappointed. http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2009/12/the-tragedy-of-hope.html

In hopes of developing an energy policy slightly more bipartisan than, well, anything to come out of Congress thus far, senators John Kerry, Lindsey Graham and yes, Joe Lieberman have announced they will be working together to present a draft bill palatable enough to gain support from both sides of the isle. Let me guess. Heavy on wind power. I know, too easy.

My NFL Thoughts for Week 14:

The Saints squeaked out another victory while the Colts held off a methodical Denver offense to continue their unbeaten streaks. However, careful observers may have noticed cracks beginning to show in the armor of both teams. A New Orleans defense that was chewing up opponents and spitting them out earlier this season now appears merely average. And the typically unflappable Peyton Manning has revealed himself to be less than superhuman, throwing at least two interceptions in the past four games. Fortunately for the undefeated, the quality of their opponents have been less than stellar, as better teams might have been able to take advantage of those mistakes. But with only three games left it looks as though all that stands in the way of two perfect regular seasons are a pair of coaching decisions. Will Indianapolis and New Orleans actually put any effort into winning the next three games? Or will they simply shut it down and rest their players in preparation for the playoffs? Conventional wisdom says they will shut it down - although history is weighted against that option. But, I’d like to look at it a little differently.

Following a loss to the New England Patriots Sunday afternoon, Carolina Panthers cornerback Chris Gamble accused Patriots superstar wide receiver Randy Moss of “shutting it down,” or taking more than a few plays off. Unfortunately for Moss, that statement is more or less true, and he has been ripped by every football talking head in every media since the first pass he dropped on Sunday. Sure, Moss’s history of this type of behavior makes him an easy target for people to question his work ethic, but why is he being held to a higher standard than the entire Indianapolis Colts organization? As a player under contract in the National Football League, Randy Moss has an obligation to show up to work every week and leave his best performance on the field. And when he neglects to do so he should be roundly and rightly criticized. Likewise, every NFL team has an obligation to put their best product on the field week in and week out - including New Orleans and Indianapolis. With a record of 1-12, the St. Louis Rams have absolutely nothing to play for. But if their players go out and mail it in for the next three games, they should be - and will be shredded in the media. If the Saints and Colts sent out the third string to play out the schedule in preparation for the playoffs, why should they be treated any different?

Is there a team in the league more schizophrenic than the Arizona Cardinals? After rolling up to Minnesota and soundly defeating the previously one-loss Vikings, the division leaders made the relatively short trip up to San Francisco only to be soundly walloped by a 49ers team three games behind them in the standings. Arizona turned the ball over SEVEN times, leaving San Francisco no choice but to clobber them and prevent them from clinching the division title. While the Cardinals are capable of performing to the level of a Super Bowl-caliber team, they are also fully capable of being blown out in the first round in much the same manner they disposed of Carolina a year ago. Looks like we’ll just have to wait and see which Cardinals team shows up to play in January.

Last week I accused the Cleveland Browns of being awful. Worse than the Detroit Lions. I was wrong. No, the Browns are still awful. But after defeating the defending Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers in a grass-covered icebox last Thursday I can no longer consider them worse than the Lions. That dishonor falls to the Buccaneers, who failed to record a first down against the Jets last weekend until they were gifted one on a penalty midway through the third quarter.

Don’t look now, but the San Diego Chargers have crept into second place in the conference behind Indianapolis look very capable of playing through to February. They are the one team absolutely no one wants to face right now.

My Super Bowl Picks for Week 14: New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts.

Last week the city of Houston, Texas elected its first openly-gay mayor. While this is not unique in America, (cities like Portland Oregon already have gay mayors), Houston is the fourth-largest city in the country, and smack in the middle of the Bible-belt. I guess sometimes little things like issues matter more than the color of one’s skin or one’s sexual orientation.

Finally, I ran across an interesting statistic this morning. There are more medical marijuana dispensaries in the city of Los Angeles than there are Starbucks and McDonalds restaurants combined. Would you like a joint with that Big Mac and Frappuccino?

Mixed Metaphors

Highlights from our trip to the Vancouver Aquarium.

"What 'chu talkin' 'bout Willis!"

I’d like to start with a few remainders from last week. In watching the post-speech analysis of President Obama’s announcement of a military “surge” in Afghanistan, I somehow neglected to assail my brain with any commentary from Fox News. My bad. So in checking out some of the highlights later on in the week, two things in particular caught my attention.

First, in a feeble attempt at mockery, Karl Rove wondered allowed why it took the President 80-some days to decide to increase force levels when he and the previous administration defeated the Afghan Taliban in only 52 days. With all due respect to Karl Rove - and by “all due respect” I mean absolutely none whatsoever - if the previous administration had defeated the Taliban in 52 days, we certainly wouldn’t need to send 30,000 more American soldiers eight years later, would we.

Second, Glenn Beck. As much as I hate to legitimize him by even admitting to his existence, sometimes the things he says are so stupid that I have to repeat them in writing just to make sure it makes as little sense when I write it as it did when I heard it. In discussing the President’s decision, Beck launched into a parable about how, at the beginning of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln couldn’t find a general to fight the war the way he thought it should be fought. They all told Lincoln it couldn’t be done, so Honest Abe dismissed general after general until he finally found several (Grant and Sherman) he could trust to carry out his orders. The lesson we as a nation are to glean from this history lesson, according to Beck, is that the President should ALWAYS listen to the generals and give them whatever they deem necessary to fight the war. Incredulous, he then demanded to know just who this President thought he was, that he could arrive at some kind of decision on his own. Uh huh. Well, to answer the second question first, I would assume that President Obama believes he is the President of the United States, and therefore by extension, Commander In Chief of the United States Armed Forces. It is my understanding that such a position entitles him to determine military strategy. And again, with all due respect to Glenn Beck’s astute analysis of the Civil War, the lesson of his parable - if there is one - is that if a leader is surrounded by naysayers and malcontents, said leader should throw those bums out and find capable people who share his/her vision and are willing to carry it out! Is there something in the water over there at Fox?

This past Monday, Bank of America announced they will begin to repay $45 billion in funds received from the Troubled Asset Relief Program. Later that day, the Treasury Department announced that estimates revised for an improving economic outlook now peg the cost of the TARP at $500 billion, approximately $200 billion LESS than originally budgeted. Pretty good news, huh? Yeah. What’s the quickest way to spend $200 billion you don’t have? I don’t know, let’s ask Congress, shall we? Today (Tuesday), on the heels of the White House “Jobs Summit” last week, President Obama announced a plan to spend somewhere in the neighborhood of $170 billion the TARP “surplus” to fund tax cuts and job creation programs. Sigh. Earth to Congress, we are already spending $900 billion in borrowed money on a job creation program called the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act! Like many pundits, I fully support the stimulus package. I believe it was necessary and I know for a fact that it is working. I am staring at six to eight weeks of overtime through the holidays due to the effectiveness of the ARRA. But, the ARRA - like the TARP - was supposed to be an emergency measure to jump start the economy and stabilize the banking system respectively. Those billions of dollars are NOT free money - especially the TARP. It is NOT the equivalent of finding a suitcase full of Franklins stuffed in your mailbox. Any money recovered from financial institutions should be used to pay for the cost of the program, and any profit made on those institutions should be used to close the budget deficit. At some point, our creditors (read China) are going to demand that we show some kind of fiscal responsibility/restraint, or they will demand higher interest rates in order to continue to finance our debt. Less than half of the stimulus funds have been spent to date, the market is up, and unemployment appears to be on it’s way down. At least let that money work its way through the economy before we insist on dumping a new pile of IOUs into the system.

I’m a little burnt out on the healthcare debate. At this point I almost expect Senate Democrats to find some way to screw up the entire process and blame everyone but themselves. But, word is that this evening they have reached a compromise which they will send to the Congressional Budget Office to be scored. The negotiators are unwilling to reveal any details at this point, so no one yet knows what this compromise entails. While it is safe to assume that Republican will oppose it (as they will oppose any and every attempt to reform... well, anything) we will have to wait and see if the compromise is something that can make it to the President’s desk for a signature.

I considered placing this next topic in the football section, but it really is about so much more than football, so I decided to discuss it here. Much has been made in the National Football League over the past several weeks about head injuries - specifically concussions. Following recently published reports concerning the long-term effects of concussions on the mental and physical health of football players suggesting that repeated blows to the head may lead to increased instances of permanent brain damage, Congress took time out of their busy schedule to question the league about what they intend to do to mitigate the problem. To be fair, the league has known for years that brain damage in football players might be an issue, but prior to this fall, the government has refused to get involved. Well, nervous about having the league’s anti-trust exemption examined, Commissioner Roger Goodell introduced a new set of safety guidelines designed to more or less protect football players from themselves by preventing them from re-entering a game - or even playing in a subsequent game if they exhibit signs of a concussion. However, in order for the rules to be effective, players must still be honest in answering doctor’s questions. Here in lies the problem.

As I alluded to last week, men are can be idiots. This comes as no surprise to women, but many men either don’t realize this fact or choose to ignore it. Boys are raised and conditioned by society to be tough and fearless, regardless of the circumstances. This often translates into men getting into fist fights, skateboarding behind cars on the freeway, refusing to show emotion and refusing to go the doctor - even if something is seriously wrong. Because if you get knocked don’t and don’t get right back up, you of course are less of a man. Especially if the other people can’t see whatever it is that knocked you down. We have also conditioned ourselves to believe that it is perfectly normal for a 220-pound man traveling north at 10 feet per second to collide with two 250-pound men traveling south at 9 feet per second twenty-five times per game and suffer no ill effects. The physics are even more astounding for 330-pound offensive lineman butting heads separated only by thin shells of plastic and foam with 315-pound defensive lineman for 30 minutes every Sunday. The fact is, the human body simply was not designed to sustain that type of impact without any damage. Yet because players are expected not to let a little thing like pain slow them down, most play with minor to moderate injuries week in and week out. Now, it’s one thing to continue to play with, say, a broken hand, because you know the worst you can do to it by continuing to play is perhaps break it again. But continuing to play with a damaged brain is an entirely different issue and MUST be treated as such. Unlike bones, nerve cells do not heal once they are damaged. If you lose your mind, you can NEVER get it back. I understand the desire to be on the field and in the game with one’s teammates. But players need to understand that it is just that, a game. The average player enters professional football at the age of 20 or 21, and his career lasts only three to five years. Many of these guys have wives and children and families that will require functioning husbands and father 30, 40, even 50 years after their careers are over. We all know that football is a dangerous sport and by stepping on the field every week all the players accept some measure of risk. But while a player who has suffered a head injury is sitting in the locker room considering whether or not to lie to doctor about how he feels, he needs to ask himself whether 30-minutes of bravado is truly worth 50-years of diminished mental faculties.

My NFL Thoughts for Week 13.

The Colts won another game on Sunday. Yawn. Wake me up when they reach the Super Bowl. Indianapolis is now 12-0, and is beginning to talk about resting some of their player in preparation for the playoffs. Every single time some “expert” brings this nonsense up I find myself screaming at the television. Over the past decade the Colts have reached the playoffs eight times. Leading up to seven of those playoff runs, Indianapolis rested its star players in the last few regular season games. In all seven of those runs they were eliminated prior to reaching the championship game. During one of those eight runs they were unable to rest players before the playoffs. That was the year they won the Super Bowl.

Every now and then a great football team finds itself in a game it really should lose. It happened to the then 12-0 Patriots against Baltimore in 2007. And it happened to the 11-0 Saints in Washington on Sunday. New Orleans never lead during the game, made more mistakes than an undefeated team should at this point in the season, and tackled so poorly one might have thought Washington’s running backs were covered in butter. Yet somehow, someway, the Saints hung around long enough to take Washington to overtime and beat them on a field goal, preserving the perfect season. Looking forward to watching these guys play in February.

Washington had ample chances to win that game and crush cajun dreams of perfection. In spite of having an interception returned for a fumble returned for a touchdown and an overtime fumble that probably wasn’t, all the Redskins had to do was kick a 23-yard field goal with a minute-and-a-half remaining in regulation. But, in the same way good teams find ways to win, bad teams just seem to find ways to lose, and Washington missed a field goal that even high school kickers are expected to make on a regular basis, and turned the game over to a team that at least on this day, probably didn’t deserve to win.

The Dallas Cowboys kicked off December the same way they have since the mid-90s - by losing. And the prospects for turning it around don’t look too promising, with three of their four remaining games against some of the league’s better teams. It’s always somewhat of a trying month in my house. At least this year my wife has the Saints to console her this year, although a week from Sunday is going to be pretty tough.

Both the Patriots and the Steelers - perennial NFL powerhouses - lost again on Sunday to teams they should have defeated handily. Ever since losing to Indianapolis three weeks ago, New England has looked lost on the field, its offense doing things out of character and its defense virtually non-existent. For Pittsburgh, even the return of their two-time Super Bowl champion quarterback failed to lift them to victory over some dude named Bruce Gradkowski (who?) and the Oakland Raiders. It should now be painfully obvious, if it wasn’t before, that without Troy Polamalu, the Steelers are a shell of their former selves, and without JaMarcus Russell, the Raiders might be able to contest a few games.

What a difference a year makes for 2008 rookie sensations Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco. Last year their teams rolled easily into the playoffs. This year Atlanta and Baltimore find themselves on the outside looking in, needing other teams to lose in order to make the post-season. Neither of these teams need to worry about the future of their franchise quarterbacks - they’ll both be fine, but this is certainly a setback after last year’s progress.

This just in. The Cleveland Browns are still awful. More so than the Detroit Lions.

My Super Bowl Picks for Week 13: New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts.

Finally, on Tuesday morning in southern California, Virgin Galactic founder Richard Branson debuted the world’s first - and only - commercial spacecraft, seen here.


For at least $200,000 each, six passengers will be treated to a 2 1/2 hour flight during which time they will see the curvature of the earth and experience about five minutes of weightlessness. That’s right. At least $200K. Five minutes. That’s it. I’m vaguely underwhelmed. Seriously. I can go down to the YMCA and float weightless in the pool for 2 1/2 hours for substantially less than a quarter-million dollars. Call me when you can teleport me to the space station.

Leggo My Eggo

I love Seattle. And Vancouver. South Bend? Meh.

Yesterday, the White House announced that tonight (Tuesday) the President would announce an increase of 30,000 soldiers to Afghanistan, to be deployed within six months and commence withdrawal in 18 months. According to the cable news networks, no one is happy with this decision. According to an old proverb, if both sides are unhappy with you, you’re probably doing something right.

First, a pet peeve of mine. If you announce that you’re going to announce something, haven’t you already announced it? I’m watching the “reaction” to the speech as I write this. I use reaction in quotations because everything being said in “reaction” to the speech was formulated eight weeks before the speech was given. Predictably, the conservative pundits wanted the President to send more than 30,000 soldiers in an open-ended U.S. military commitment to Afghanistan. The liberal pundits wanted him to announce that all U.S. military personnel would return home by Christmas and promise that this country would never fire a bullet at any other nation ever again. Obviously neither of those things were going to happen. But the bumper sticker mentality of the American media, and by proxy the American public seems unable to accept that the resolution to complex problems simply does not fit on a 3”x 5” index card.

For nearly two years, Senator Obama campaigned on the premise that the Afghan war was the just war, the war that should have been fought correctly in the first place and the war that needs to be won. He was elected by a margin of nine million votes, by 69 million voters who knew his stance on both Afghanistan and Iraq before they checked the box with his name in it. Why does it surprise anyone that President Obama would want to take some action to resolve a deteriorating situation in a country ignored for seven years by the previous administration? The former vice president from that era is running around yammering about how this President is putting America in danger by thoughtfully and carefully considering how to proceed with the current conflicts. Let’s be very clear about something. If Richard Cheney had resolved the Afghanistan problem he and his president created then deliberately neglected for seven long years, he would not now have to beg Barack Obama to clean up his mess. Richard Cheney has no one to blame for the perceived insecurity of this nation but himself.

This country seems to suffer from unrealistic expectations. We don’t really understand what it means to win the “war on terror.” The only definition we have for victory is complete and utter destruction of the enemy. If we attempt to apply that definition to this case, victory can NEVER be accomplished. Our enemy is an idea, and ideas cannot be defeated with bombs and bullets. For 20 years, the Soviet Union tried to suppress and control the same ideas in Afghanistan. They had no Constitution to restrain their actions, no Congress or media to hold them accountable. And for 20 years they failed. Almost 20 years later we are attempting a similar action and expecting a different result. What’s the definition of insanity again? Perhaps it’s time we re-examined our mid-20th century definition of “victory” and adapted it to the 21st century situation we find ourselves in today.

Enough with Dick and the disaster of the previous administration. How about something imminently more relevant - like Tiger Woods maybe. Late last week, the uber-celebrity was involved in a single vehicle accident with the fire hydrant at the end of his driveway and the tree in his neighbor’s front yard. There were no injuries sustained, except those suffered by Woods himself, and the police stated that alcohol was not a factor in the accident. He provided the required documentation to the authorities, has been fined $164 and docked four points on his license. End of story, right? Not bloody likely.

The way the media reacted you could be forgiven if you thought Tiger had shot four police officers to death in a coffee shop before being killed in a shoot out with police. Oh wait, that was that other guy in Tacoma who got the thirty seconds of news coverage not devoted to the fire hydrant at the end of Tiger’s driveway. The mayhem of Woods’ single car pile up made lead headlines on Entertainment Tonight and The O’Reilly Factor. TMZ.com stationed reporters outside the gates of Tiger’s gated Florida community while dutifully tracking down a Vegas nightclub hostess someone claimed had been seen with Woods on some occasion. Talking heads with legal degrees on CNN wondered aloud where Tiger’s wife Elin found the golf club she used to break the window of the SUV in order to extract her injured husband. (Here’s a hint; he’s a professional golfer.) And morons on sports talk radio demanded to know what Tiger Woods was doing backing out of his driveway at 2:55 in the morning. I’ve got news for you people. Tiger may owe the city of Orlando $164 dollars and a new fire hydrant, but he owes you people NOTHING! It doesn’t matter why he left his house at 3:00 am. It’s his house. He can leave it whenever he wants to! In fact, if he so desires, he can leave his house, return, leave again, come back and park crooked across his driveway, all without your permission! It is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! Seriously. Get lives people!

Strange piece of financial news made headlines last week. Dubai asked for additional time to make payments on $60 billion worth of debt obligations. That’s right. The richest (per capita) nation in the world is flat broke. I guess indoor ski resorts in the middle of the desert and islands in the shape of palm trees just don’t sell for what they used to.

My NFL Thoughts for Week 12:

When the Indianapolis Colts went 13 points down to the Houston Texans at halftime on Sunday my wife looked over at me and said, “You know, these second half comebacks are getting a little dull.” Thirty minutes later the Colts had rallied to beat the Texans for the 15th time in 16 games on their way to remaining undefeated. It’s like the game isn’t any fun for Peyton Manning unless he’s trailing in the fourth quarter.

Five weeks ago the Tennessee Titans were 0-6 coming off a 59-0 in the snow in New England and people were wondering if the longest tenured coach in the league would be filing for unemployment before the year was up. But a funny thing happened on the way to the graveyard. A young quarterback named Vince Young, the third pick of the 2007 draft, a guy that absolutely everyone had written off as a bust and left for dead, lead his team on a four game winning streak, and back into the playoff hunt. On Sunday, his college nemesis rolled into town at the helm of the Arizona Cardinals, looking to avenge a devastating National Championship defeat. Matt Leinart’s Cardinals took an early lead and held on to it until the final 2:37 of the final quarter. Beginning at that point, Young led a 99-yard drive, converting two fourth-downs in the process, until again on fourth-down and with no time remaining on the clock he hit his receiver in the back of the end zone for the game winning touchdown. I swear I saw Matt Leinart watching on the sideline mumbling under his breath, “He’s doing it to me AGAIN!” All of a sudden the Titans are a force to be reckoned with, lead by a mature, veteran-like Vince Young and a running back who is a legitimate threat to Eric Dickerson’s single season 2,105 yard rushing record. They’ve gone from laughing stock to a team NOBODY wants to play.

The New Orleans Saints remain undefeated today, abusing the Golden Boy and his Patriots 38-17 in the Big Easy on Monday Night Football. Drew Brees looked like Peyton Manning out there, tossing as many touchdowns (5) as incomplete passes and commanding his team to the defining win of its history thus far. Tom Brady on the other hand, looked like, well, Marsha Brady, frazzled and a little confused, at one point chucking up a pass to Saints safety Darren Sharper at least ten yards away from any Patriots receiver. New Orleans did everything well, an astonishing feat considering two of their best players did not play due to injuries and both starting cornerbacks have been with the team less than two weeks. The only legitimate threat to an undefeated regular season is a visit from the Dallas Cowboys in a few weeks. If they make it through that we could have our second prefect regular season in three years.

There is an adage that football is a young man’s game. This year that adage has been turned upside down. In Minnesota, 40-year-old Brett Favre is playing MVP football, with 25 touchdowns and only 3 interceptions. A 33-year-old Peyton Manning is right behind him on that list. In Green Bay, a 33-year-old Charles Woodson is playing his best football since he became the only full-time defensive player to win the Heisman Trophy in 60 years at Michigan 12 years ago. Also at 33, Darren Sharper leads the league in interceptions and his 33-year-old teammate of six days Mike MacKenzie spent Monday night making the most decorated quarterback of the decade look like he belonged with the Cleveland Browns. This may be a young man’s game, but the old guys still have a few tricks up their sleeves.

What kind of masochist would want to coach the Cleveland Browns? This is a team who’s best wide receiver is apparently also its quarterback. Hakes it difficult to design plays when the guy throwing the ball also has to catch it.

When it rains it pours for Jake Delhomme, who threw four more interceptions in a loss to the Jets, including a bizarre pass that bounced off the back of his receiver’s leg into the arms of a defender. Seriously, is Jeff Garcia not available? This team is wasting the best years of the careers of several excellent players due to terrible quarterback play. Do you want to end up like Cleveland and Detroit?

My Superbowl picks for Week 12: Indianapolis Colts vs. New Orleans Saints.

There is something that caught my attention this week that I simply don’t have time to get into in this post, so I’ll get to it next week instead. To build the suspense I’ll drop this teaser; men are idiots. I’m sure that comes as no surprise to most women, but the level of this stupidity is truly astounding.

Finally, you may have noticed a dwindling number of Kellogg’s Eggo Waffles in your grocer’s freezer lately. Well, that’s because there is a nationwide shortage of Eggo waffles. Apparently, production interruptions at two of the four plants that produce the frozen flaky golden goodness have so reduced the supply that the remaining boxes will be rationed throughout the country until normal Eggo production can be resumed. Said company spokeswoman Kris Charles in a public relations e-mail regarding the subject, “We are working around the clock to restore Eggo store inventories to normal levels as quickly as possible.” Seriously? You’re working “around the clock” to restore waffles inventories? Can we put you in charge of Iraq reconstruction?

Fly Me To the Moon

Several interesting things happened over the past week that deserve discussion. Unfortunately, I’m leaving on vacation this week and don’t have time for in-depth analysis. So, we’ll roll with the CliffsNotes version instead.

It’s official. At 7:08 Eastern Standard Time last Wednesday, Lou Dobbs officially terminated his career at CNN. The former business analyst turned xenophobic populist lunatic was the last of the original anchors at the Cable News Network. But, on a network trying (yet failing miserably) to carve out a niche for itself as the neutral zone between the “extremes” of Fox News and MSNBC, Dobbs’ presence as an anti-immigration conspiracy theorist thoroughly undermined those efforts. Although cryptic about his plans for the future, speculation is that Lou and his politics would be far more comfortable at, say, Fox, than he was with his former employer. Frankly, I think that might be a good idea. Confine all the crazy to a single channel.

Late last week Attorney General Eric Holder announced that suspected 9/11 “mastermind” Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, and several of his cohorts currently housed at the Guantanamo Bay detention facility will be tried in Federal court in New York City, and that others are to be moved to maximum security prisons in the continental United States. This immediately sent Republicans scrambling for the nearest television camera in a race to see which of them could provoke mass hysteria the quickest. It’s pretty much cliché at this point: the Kenyan fascist imposter president Obama wants to sacrifice us all to the Muslims, turning us into a terrorist target, cats and dogs living together, end of the world / wrath of God-type stuff. Sigh. Why do these people hate their country? Why do they believe America to be incapable of prosecuting a terrorist and bringing him to justice? I know this might surprise some people, but KSM will not be the first terrorist prosecuted in Federal court. Oh, and by the way, he won’t be the first terrorist interned in a maximum security Federal prison in the continental United States. The ADX Supermax facility in Florence, Colorado has held convicted terrorists since at least the mid-nineties, no escapes, no assaults. KSM and his associates have been held at Guantanamo Bay since 2002, no assaults, no escapes, not even an attempt. For anyone who does know, the detention center covers a small portion of the 45 square mile naval base, surrounded by 43 THOUSAND square miles of communist Cuba, over which the U.S. Navy has no control. Anybody (who is not a U.S. citizen) could hop a boat from Haiti, drive out into the countryside and lob rockets at the base from the jungle. Yet no one has. Contrast this with Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan and the Green Zone in Iraq, which have seen dozens – if not hundreds of attacks since the wars began. This argument that housing these prisoners on the mainland somehow makes us more of a target is ridiculous. We’re a target for terrorism because we are the United State of America! How many terrorists were detained in the Federal Building in Oklahoma City in 1995? How many terrorists were held on board the U.S.S Cole in 2000? How many terrorists were imprisoned at the World Trade Center in 1993 or 2001?

Burger King franchisees have sued the corporation over the $1.00 double cheeseburger offered on their value menu. According to the franchisees, the burger they are required to sell for a buck, costs them $1.10 to produce, therefore costing them ten cents for each burger sold. I guess I’m a little confused by this. Do the franchise owners not understand the concept of a promotion, or a loss leader? In order to draw more customers, businesses often cut the price of certain items below profitability in the hope that more people will purchase additional items, like fries and sodas, with their (in this case) double cheeseburger, thereby increasing overall revenue. Since I don’t own a Burger King franchise I can’t say for sure, but it seems like when you sign up for something like that, you’re obligated to adhere to the rules and regulations – and promotions of the franchiser, no? If you don’t like being told what to do or how to run your business, perhaps running a franchise of a national chain restaurant is not for you.

My NFL Thoughts for Week 10:

Let’s get this out of the way right off the top. Bill Belichick is not crazy. He made a good call and got a bad result. This is a classic case of hindsight being 20/20. On 4th and 2, with 2:04 left in the game and the ball on his own 28-yardline leading by 6 points, future Hall-of-Fame coach Belichick decided he was going to play to win the game. Following a timeout, he sent three-time Superbowl champion quarterback Tom Brady back out onto the field with the offense to get the two yards they needed to get the first down, run out the clock and hand the undefeated Indianapolis Colts their first loss of the season. Most coaches would have punted the ball away and try to force the Colts to go 60+ yards to score. But Belichick plays to win the game. The Patriots snapped the ball, Kevin Faulk ran a three-yard pattern, turned around and caught Brady’s pass beyond the first down marker, then was brought down a yard behind the sticks. But the official juggling standing behind Faulk ruled that he juggled the ball, and did not gain control until after he had been pushed back behind the first down marker. Turnover on downs. Colts ball. Two minutes later Indianapolis was 9-0 and every sports talking head on television was throwing Belichick under the bus. But not me. Prior to that play, the Patriots held a 4th down conversion rate of greater than 75% and Tom Brady can make two yards in his sleep. Twice already in that quarter, Peyton Manning had taken his team 79-yards in a little over two minutes to score touchdowns. If he hadn’t wasted a timeout on first down for an incorrect personnel grouping, he would have been able to challenge the referee’s call and possibly have it reversed, winning the game. You play to win the game. Sometimes you lose.

In the final minute of the Jaguars/Jets game and trailing by two points, Jaguars running back Maurice Jones-Drew burst through the middle of the Jets defensive line and rumbled toward the end zone for a touchdown. But a funny thing happened on the way to a score. As her reached the one-yard line and noticed that the Jets defenders were going out of their way to AVOID tackling him, MJD took a knee before reaching the goal line, thereby allowing his team to keep the ball, run down the clock and kick the game-winning field goal as time expired. The same commentators who would later rip Belichick for playing to win the game, praised Jacksonville coach Jack Del Rio for playing to win the game. Only what Jacksonville did was far more stupid than the decision New England would make several hours later. Field goals are missed routinely in this league. By half-time in eight games I had already seen six missed or blocked field goals/extra points, including one by the Jaguars’ own kicker! Not to mention the number of times the center snaps the ball over the holder’s head or behind his back or into the ground. It would have been a different story had Jacksonville been LEADING by two points. But unless your kicker’s name is Perfect, purposefully putting the game in his hands (or on his foot) is a recipe for disaster.

The Saints squeaked out another victory on Sunday in a game that seemed far more difficult than it should have been. However, this isn’t college football. It doesn’t matter how you win the games, only that you do.

Fortunately, what was billed as perhaps the worst game in the history of the NFL, did not live up to the hype. Don’t get me wrong, the Chiefs/Raiders game was bad, but the first half of the Browns/Ravens game Monday night was atrocious. It was like a nightmare where you’re driving through Cleveland, and no matter how long you drive or how far you go, you’re still in Cleveland.

I know I’ve said this before, but these are not your father’s Bengals. Cincinnati has now defeated the defending Superbowl champions twice this season, this time by playing better defense than a team renown for playing outstanding defense. I am officially on the bandwagon.

Effective this Tuesday, the Buffalo Bills fired their head coach after a disappointing start to their season. How long until the Browns, Rams, Bucs, Raiders, Chiefs and Lions follow suit?

My Superbowl Picks for Week 10: New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts.

Finally, NASA announced this week that they have discovered “significant” deposits of water on the moon. Sweet. Sign me up for 10,000 shares of “Lunafina!”

Bullets

Enough of the Pittsburgh Steelers already!

Twenty years ago tonight I remember sitting in front of the television with my dad, watching the ten o’clock news on CBC. I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be in bed, but my parents were less strict about that sort of thing if something important was going on. And young as I was, I was aware enough of the world to know that I was witnessing much more than a group of people swinging sledge hammers at a graffiti-covered concrete wall. That night, 40 years of Communist control over the Eastern Bloc collapsed, a city was reunited, and the red-headed step child of the Cold War, the German Democratic Republic, ceased to exist. Of course, it didn’t happen overnight, and there were numerous factors that brought about the change, but the fact that it happened at all was a fulfillment of a dream many - if not most people at the time considered impossible. If you told anybody in the summer of 1989 that by October the following year, East and West Germany would be replaced on the map by a single, unified Germany, they would have laughed at you. Here’s to the fall of the Iron Curtain.

My condolences to the families of those all those affected by the tragedy that took place at Fort Hood, Texas a week ago. Last Thursday, Army psychologist Nidal Hasan allegedly walked into a readiness center on base and started shooting. By the time it was over, 13 people were dead and 31 injured. It’s bad enough that this sort of thing continues to happen in this country, only made worse by the fact that this time, it happened to the very people ready and willing to give their lives to protect us, by someone they thought was one of their own.

In an unusual twist of fate, the alleged Fort Hood shooter survived his rampage, and is currently recuperating under guard at an undisclosed hospital location. Typically these maniacs get to take the easy way out, either by taking their own lives or being cut down in an exchange of gunfire with police. But this time we’ll get to ask why, and maybe even get an answer, before final justice is dispensed. No, Hasan’s fate is not in doubt. This is Texas after all.

As soon as the name of the Fort Hood shooter was released, Muslim groups across the country scrambled to find a microphone to denounce Hasan’s actions, while some at another end of the political spectrum stumbled over themselves to suggest that perhaps all Muslim soldiers - if not all Muslims as a whole - should be viewed with suspicion and maybe even questioned as to their allegiances. I have a dream. I have a dream, that one day, minorities in America will not have to rush to a television camera to emphatically state the obvious, that the actions of one individual who happens to share some aspect of their faith or culture, do not represent the group as a whole. When a white man blew the side off a twelve story building in Oklahoma City, spokespersons for the “white community” did not have to waste airtime explaining that the actions of a single 27-year-old anti-government white man did not reflect the sentiments of the entire caucasian population. When Scott Roder allegedly assassinated Dr. George Tiller several months ago, cable news anchors were not calling for the detention and interrogation of all pro-life activists. When are we going to get to the point in this country when the actions of a single minority are accepted as just that, and not a reflection upon everyone else?

November 10, 2009 is scheduled to be the last day of John Allen Muhammad's life. Better known as the D.C. Sniper, Muhammad will be executed in Virginia on Tuesday for the murder of a local man during a seventeen day shooting spree in October of 2002. The details of this case have largely been forgotten in the years since, but at the time, this was the most terrifying thing to happen on U.S. soil since the attack on New York City. Maryland and Virginia were absolutely paralyzed with fear for more than two weeks, as people were simply murdered at random by a phantom marksman, while the police and the FBI seemed powerless to stop the bloodshed. People were ducking behind their cars as they pumped gas, zig zagging on their way into stores, sneaking their kids into school through back doors in an attempt to avoid being shot. Where the anthrax letters failed, Muhammad succeeded in holding the entire country hostage to the will of a pathetic vindictive man, angry at his ex-wife and intent on killing her when he got through with his rampage. I don’t believe in the death penalty, but I won’t be sorry to see this man go.

In the aftermath of Republican victories in New Jersey and Virginia last week that apparently heralded the end of the Obama presidency, RNC chairman Michael Steele decided that Conservatism - and by extension the Republican Party - is now such a juggernaut that they no longer need so-called “moderates” under the tent. When asked about the loss of the NY-23 Congressional District to a Democrat for the first time since the Grant Presidency, Steele dismissed it as being about local issues, (although I guess none of the other races were), then launched into a pseudo-tirade in which he threatened to “come after” any moderate Republican politician that so much as entertained the thought of working with the President or Congressional Democrats for the good of the country. Nice work Mike. Way to grow the party. Way to make people feel welcome. I can’t tell you how comforted I am to know that Michael Steele is running the GOP.

Oh, by the way, the House voted to pass its version of healthcare reform on Saturday by a margin of three votes. Three votes. In the Senate, a three vote margin of victory would be equivalent to a four game sweep of the World Series. But a three vote margin of victory with a forty-seat majority is so much more than pathetic. Of course, this is par for the course from a party that still hasn’t figured out how to or is too afraid to act like winners. How long is it going take before Democrats figure out that sniping at each other and picking each other off is the quickest, surest route back to minority status?

In an attempt to prove they are more than the “party of no,” House Republicans introduced their version of healthcare reform last week. A couple days later the Congressional Budget Office released it’s evaluation. Over the next 10 years, the Republican healthcare bill will cover an additional 3 million people and reduce the deficit by about $68 billion. Not bad. Unless you consider that the same CBO scored the Democratic reform version as covering an additional 36 million people while reducing the federal deficit by $104 billion. That’s right. The Democratic bill, already gutted by the special interests and watered down by three legislative committees covers 12 times more people and saves $36 billion more than the non-alternative offered as political cover by a disingenuous, obstructionist Republican Party claiming to be concerned with fiscal responsibility and the well-being of Americans.

My NFL Thoughts for Week 9:

The two best teams in the league struggled a little this week against inferior teams, yet still managed to pull out a victory. Neither the Saints nor the Colts played their best football. But great teams find ways to win, regardless of the circumstances. The only thing standing between these two teams and a date in Miami are the defending champs and some guy named Favre.

The Cleveland Browns did not lose this week. Of course they didn’t play either. That might have had something to do with it.

I’m ashamed to admit I lived in Wisconsin for a few years, and even now consider myself a fan of the Green Bay Packers. Aaron Rodgers and company were defeated Sunday by the previously winless Tampa Bay Buccaneers and their rookie quarterback Josh Freeman. Embarrassing doesn’t begin to describe it. Hard to believe that merely two years ago this team was one interception away from the Superbowl.

If the NFC East Division were to suddenly drop off the face of the earth I don’t think I’d miss it. Well, every team but the Cowboys of course. Sorry honey.

With the exception of New Orleans, no team in the league is more fun to watch than the Cincinnati Bengals. Halfway through the season they find themselves on top of a pretty competitive division, half-a-game ahead of the the defending champion Steelers, with a trip to Pittsburgh coming up next Sunday. And I don’t care what anybody says, Ochocinco attempting to “bribe” the official with a single dollar bill to change a call was funny stuff. The league needs to lighten up a little.

My Superbowl picks for Week 9: New Orleans Saints vs. Pittsburgh Steelers.

Against the best interests of his school and his team, University of Central Florida basketball star Marcus Jordan (son of Michael Jordan), stepped on the court for his first preseason game last week wearing his Nike sneakers. They might have been the most expensive pair of shoes any athlete has ever laced up. That act constituted a violation of the school’s endorsement deal with Adidas, and cost UCF over three million dollars. What a team player. I realize three million dollars is nothing more than an evening in Vegas to the Jordan family, but to a small school trying to make a name for itself in big time college sports, three million dollars is a pretty big deal.

Remember way back in the 80’s when the VCR hit the market? Remember how Hollywood freaked out, claiming that if people could watch and record movies in their own homes, no one would bother going to the theater? Funny how all that fear completely disappeared when they realized that not only did people continue to go to the theater, they also dropped million - nay, billions - of dollars a year to rent, and then purchase a copy of the same movie they had just seen on the big screen the week before. Several years ago when the digital video recorder first appeared in stores, television and cable networks tore their hair out trying to figure out how they were going to stay in business if people could just skip right over the commercials. However, it turns out they had nothing to fear from DVRs after all. Recent studies have revealed that, lo and behold, people are now watching more commercials than ever before. You see, back in the days before DVR, if there was more than one television show broadcast at the same time on different networks, viewers would have to choose one to watch, neglecting the others. But now, no one has to choose. They can watch all the shows they want, whenever they want to watch them. And as if that weren’t enough, it seems people are just too lazy to pick up the remote and skip through the commercials after all. Three times the programing means three times the advertising, which means three times the revenue.

Funny thing about fear. The fear itself is often - if not usually - far worse than the feared result. The fear of change is more frightening than the actual change. It’s true for television, it’s true for politics and it’s true in life. We would all be better off if we spent a little more time understanding and a little less time afraid.

Finally, remember Carrie Prejean? Ex-beauty queen turned traditional marriage activist, family values crusader and hero/darling of conservative media? Well she’s back. This time it’s not about pageant questions or topless photos or performance-enhancing breast implants. This time, there’s a sex tape. That’s right. Turns out this symbol of purity filmed herself engaging in a little “quality time” with... herself, and sent the video to her boyfriend. Sigh. We’ve gone down this road enough times with people like Prejean before that what I’m about to say shouldn’t have to be said. But, just in case, nobody cares that a reasonably attractive young woman sent naked video of herself to her boyfriend. What turns Carrie Prejean and her apologists into objects of ire is the fact that she has made a name and is making a living off of extolling the evils of some of the same behavior she herself has engaged/is engaging in. Americans like their celebrities to be flawed. They don’t like them to be hypocrites.