On December 22, 2001, Richard Reed attempted to destroy American Airlines Flight 63 from Paris to Miami by detonating explosives formed into his shoes. Four days ago on Christmas Day - just over eight years later - Umar Farouk AbdulMutallab tried to bring down a Delta Airlines Airbus 330 as it was landing in Detroit from Nigeria via Amsterdam by detonating explosives sewn into his underwear. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Aside from the obvious question - how would anyone know that a bomb had gone off in Detroit - why is it still easier for some guy to carry a bomb onboard an airplane in his underwear than for me to get a bottle of water past the security checkpoint? Why? After eight years and billions of dollars we’ve supposedly spent addressing this problem, how is that still possible? Never mind. I think I know the answer. It starts with “inept” and ends with “itude.” Or maybe it starts with “bureau” and ends with “cracy.” Whichever it is, could we please get it fixed now? Please?
In the second most bizarre story of the week, Florida Gators National Championship-winning football coach Urban Meyer officially retired, un-retired then took an indefinite leave of absence in less than 24 hours. Citing health concerns, and specifically stress-induced chest pains and heart palpitations, Meyer informed universal officials on Saturday night that he would be leaving following the team’s upcoming Sugar Bowl appearance. But following practice on Sunday afternoon (and no doubt countless phone calls and e-mails from boosters and school officials, Meyer announced he would not retire after all, but instead take time off to focus on improving his heath, and return at some point in the future when he felt better. Now, 24-hour retirements are nothing new to the University of Florida. Several years ago championship-winning basketball coach Billy Donovan left the school to coach in the NBA, only to return a day later claiming he never really wanted to leave in the first place. But this is a little different in that, by Meyer’s own admission, the problems driving him into retirement/leave of absence are directly related to his job. The stress of his job is causing his heart problems. How is taking a year off supposed to fix that? Coaching in 2011 isn’t going to be any easier than coaching in 2010.
Supermodel-turned Oprah wannabe-turned reality show producer Tyra Banks is wrapping up her Emmy-winning daytime talk show. First Phil Donahue, then Sally Jesse Raphael, then Oprah, and now Tyra? What am I going to do with this additional hour in the middle of my afternoon? At least I’ll still have Maury to tell me whether or not the guy with the six kids by seven different women really is the father of the eighth woman’s mother’s child. I guess daytime talk just isn’t what it used to be.
My NFL Thoughts for Week 16:
All right Saints fans, it is officially time to panic. Even though last week’s loss was preventable, there is no shame in losing to the 10-5, playoff-bound Dallas Cowboys. The same cannot be said for losing to the previously 2-12 Buccaneers. Over the past six weeks the offense has been incapable of stringing together more than 30 minutes of good football, and the defense looks like an 80-pound bespectacled ninth-grader with a “kick me” sign stapled to his back. Thanks to a Minnesota loss on Monday night, New Orleans will have two weeks to right the ship before their next game of any consequence, and are perfectly capable of doing it. But right now, everything is headed in the wrong direction.
With a five point lead early in the third quarter on Sunday afternoon, the Colts pulled Peyton Manning and the rest of the starters from the remainder of the game. A visibly upset Manning proceeded to watch from the sideline as both an easily winnable game and the perfect season swirled down the toilet in the hands of the Colts third string to the New York Jets. The crowd didn’t like it either. In all the years of the Peyton Manning era, I have never heard a righteous chorus of boos directed at the team by their own fans prior to last Sunday. And I don’t blame them. Let’s not sugar coat what happened, Indianapolis ownership and management threw the game. What they did on Sunday was absolutely no different and no less shameful than what Randy Moss did (or did not do) against Carolina two weeks ago. Former Chief’s coach Herman Edwards said it best in a post-game press conference several years ago. You play to win the game. Whether it matters or not. By the Colts logic, every team left out of the playoff race should just stay home next Sunday. If the games don’t matter, why bother playing them?
How about them Bears. Despite numerous injuries, inferior talent and absolutely nothing to play for, Chicago came out possessed last night and handed the reeling Vikings their third loss in four games. Minnesota now finds itself in danger of losing a first round bye they could have wrapped up three weeks ago. Like New Orleans, the flaws in this team have been exposed and the question now is can they find enough band-aids to patch themselves up with before their first playoff game?
The Panthers put up 41 points on the previously playoff-contending New York Giants on Sunday. Where the heck was THIS Carolina team eight weeks ago?
Over the past two seasons, the Detroit Lions and Saint Louis Rams have combined for a total of five victories. Five. In 64 games. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.
My Super Bowl Picks for Week 16: San Diego Chargers vs. Philadelphia Eagles.
New York City is on pace to record its lowest murder rate since record-keeping began in 1962. Currently, places like Omaha, Raleigh and Tampa all have more murders per capita than Gotham. Not bad for a city of 10 million.
Finally, White House Budget Office Director, economics wizard and bad toupee wearer Peter Orszag has announced he is engaged to ABC reporter Bianna Golodryga. For those of you unfamiliar with the inner workings of your government, that means that this man,
is engaged to this woman.
Peter Orszag. Bringing hope to nerds and balding men everywhere.
2 comments:
Sigh. Sadly, it's true. Money, influence and/or power can make a guy who's barely a 5 magically turn into a solid 9. Women really aren't that complicated, gentlemen.
Apparently the Christmas Day would-be bomber (I refuse to say his name because he deserves no more recognition. His comrades must love nothing more than to Google his name and see it come up more than 5 million times) didn't pass through a body scanner or get frisked in Amsterdam because he had allegedly already been checked in Africa.
My family comes from a small island in the Caribbean. I'm sure that at least some of Nigeria is quite well-developed, but the "security check" we get when we go home to the islands is basically a once-over, a brief grope and a couple of questions. That's it. Bouncers at clubs do a better job of checking for weapons than the airport security guys down there. My point is...why the hell did Amsterdam rely on the African security check to just allow this guy to walk onto a US-bound plane?? No offense to my African friends, but that's like trusting a sixth-grader to check your Calculus homework before turning it in to your college professor.
Question: Do the Republicans actually have a point in condemning the Obama administration this time? They've been saying that Obama has been so focussed on reforming health care and other "radical domestic changes" that he has basically forgotten to protect his country. I think that's a bit much, but something obviously went wrong here. Where does the blame start, and where does it end? Sadly, I have to say it ends at the Oval Office.
Happy New Year! I look forward to more great posts in 2010.
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