Fly Me To the Moon

Several interesting things happened over the past week that deserve discussion. Unfortunately, I’m leaving on vacation this week and don’t have time for in-depth analysis. So, we’ll roll with the CliffsNotes version instead.

It’s official. At 7:08 Eastern Standard Time last Wednesday, Lou Dobbs officially terminated his career at CNN. The former business analyst turned xenophobic populist lunatic was the last of the original anchors at the Cable News Network. But, on a network trying (yet failing miserably) to carve out a niche for itself as the neutral zone between the “extremes” of Fox News and MSNBC, Dobbs’ presence as an anti-immigration conspiracy theorist thoroughly undermined those efforts. Although cryptic about his plans for the future, speculation is that Lou and his politics would be far more comfortable at, say, Fox, than he was with his former employer. Frankly, I think that might be a good idea. Confine all the crazy to a single channel.

Late last week Attorney General Eric Holder announced that suspected 9/11 “mastermind” Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, and several of his cohorts currently housed at the Guantanamo Bay detention facility will be tried in Federal court in New York City, and that others are to be moved to maximum security prisons in the continental United States. This immediately sent Republicans scrambling for the nearest television camera in a race to see which of them could provoke mass hysteria the quickest. It’s pretty much cliché at this point: the Kenyan fascist imposter president Obama wants to sacrifice us all to the Muslims, turning us into a terrorist target, cats and dogs living together, end of the world / wrath of God-type stuff. Sigh. Why do these people hate their country? Why do they believe America to be incapable of prosecuting a terrorist and bringing him to justice? I know this might surprise some people, but KSM will not be the first terrorist prosecuted in Federal court. Oh, and by the way, he won’t be the first terrorist interned in a maximum security Federal prison in the continental United States. The ADX Supermax facility in Florence, Colorado has held convicted terrorists since at least the mid-nineties, no escapes, no assaults. KSM and his associates have been held at Guantanamo Bay since 2002, no assaults, no escapes, not even an attempt. For anyone who does know, the detention center covers a small portion of the 45 square mile naval base, surrounded by 43 THOUSAND square miles of communist Cuba, over which the U.S. Navy has no control. Anybody (who is not a U.S. citizen) could hop a boat from Haiti, drive out into the countryside and lob rockets at the base from the jungle. Yet no one has. Contrast this with Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan and the Green Zone in Iraq, which have seen dozens – if not hundreds of attacks since the wars began. This argument that housing these prisoners on the mainland somehow makes us more of a target is ridiculous. We’re a target for terrorism because we are the United State of America! How many terrorists were detained in the Federal Building in Oklahoma City in 1995? How many terrorists were held on board the U.S.S Cole in 2000? How many terrorists were imprisoned at the World Trade Center in 1993 or 2001?

Burger King franchisees have sued the corporation over the $1.00 double cheeseburger offered on their value menu. According to the franchisees, the burger they are required to sell for a buck, costs them $1.10 to produce, therefore costing them ten cents for each burger sold. I guess I’m a little confused by this. Do the franchise owners not understand the concept of a promotion, or a loss leader? In order to draw more customers, businesses often cut the price of certain items below profitability in the hope that more people will purchase additional items, like fries and sodas, with their (in this case) double cheeseburger, thereby increasing overall revenue. Since I don’t own a Burger King franchise I can’t say for sure, but it seems like when you sign up for something like that, you’re obligated to adhere to the rules and regulations – and promotions of the franchiser, no? If you don’t like being told what to do or how to run your business, perhaps running a franchise of a national chain restaurant is not for you.

My NFL Thoughts for Week 10:

Let’s get this out of the way right off the top. Bill Belichick is not crazy. He made a good call and got a bad result. This is a classic case of hindsight being 20/20. On 4th and 2, with 2:04 left in the game and the ball on his own 28-yardline leading by 6 points, future Hall-of-Fame coach Belichick decided he was going to play to win the game. Following a timeout, he sent three-time Superbowl champion quarterback Tom Brady back out onto the field with the offense to get the two yards they needed to get the first down, run out the clock and hand the undefeated Indianapolis Colts their first loss of the season. Most coaches would have punted the ball away and try to force the Colts to go 60+ yards to score. But Belichick plays to win the game. The Patriots snapped the ball, Kevin Faulk ran a three-yard pattern, turned around and caught Brady’s pass beyond the first down marker, then was brought down a yard behind the sticks. But the official juggling standing behind Faulk ruled that he juggled the ball, and did not gain control until after he had been pushed back behind the first down marker. Turnover on downs. Colts ball. Two minutes later Indianapolis was 9-0 and every sports talking head on television was throwing Belichick under the bus. But not me. Prior to that play, the Patriots held a 4th down conversion rate of greater than 75% and Tom Brady can make two yards in his sleep. Twice already in that quarter, Peyton Manning had taken his team 79-yards in a little over two minutes to score touchdowns. If he hadn’t wasted a timeout on first down for an incorrect personnel grouping, he would have been able to challenge the referee’s call and possibly have it reversed, winning the game. You play to win the game. Sometimes you lose.

In the final minute of the Jaguars/Jets game and trailing by two points, Jaguars running back Maurice Jones-Drew burst through the middle of the Jets defensive line and rumbled toward the end zone for a touchdown. But a funny thing happened on the way to a score. As her reached the one-yard line and noticed that the Jets defenders were going out of their way to AVOID tackling him, MJD took a knee before reaching the goal line, thereby allowing his team to keep the ball, run down the clock and kick the game-winning field goal as time expired. The same commentators who would later rip Belichick for playing to win the game, praised Jacksonville coach Jack Del Rio for playing to win the game. Only what Jacksonville did was far more stupid than the decision New England would make several hours later. Field goals are missed routinely in this league. By half-time in eight games I had already seen six missed or blocked field goals/extra points, including one by the Jaguars’ own kicker! Not to mention the number of times the center snaps the ball over the holder’s head or behind his back or into the ground. It would have been a different story had Jacksonville been LEADING by two points. But unless your kicker’s name is Perfect, purposefully putting the game in his hands (or on his foot) is a recipe for disaster.

The Saints squeaked out another victory on Sunday in a game that seemed far more difficult than it should have been. However, this isn’t college football. It doesn’t matter how you win the games, only that you do.

Fortunately, what was billed as perhaps the worst game in the history of the NFL, did not live up to the hype. Don’t get me wrong, the Chiefs/Raiders game was bad, but the first half of the Browns/Ravens game Monday night was atrocious. It was like a nightmare where you’re driving through Cleveland, and no matter how long you drive or how far you go, you’re still in Cleveland.

I know I’ve said this before, but these are not your father’s Bengals. Cincinnati has now defeated the defending Superbowl champions twice this season, this time by playing better defense than a team renown for playing outstanding defense. I am officially on the bandwagon.

Effective this Tuesday, the Buffalo Bills fired their head coach after a disappointing start to their season. How long until the Browns, Rams, Bucs, Raiders, Chiefs and Lions follow suit?

My Superbowl Picks for Week 10: New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts.

Finally, NASA announced this week that they have discovered “significant” deposits of water on the moon. Sweet. Sign me up for 10,000 shares of “Lunafina!”