Making Sausage

I’m watching a Barry Levinson film about the Baltimore Colts Band and the years they spent in limbo while the city was without a team. There is a certain amount of irony in the fact that a city so devastated by the loss of their football team was only eventually healed by the arrival of a team from a city so devastated by the loss of their football team.

Finally, after months of mind-numbing discussions about witch doctors and death panels and fascism, the Senate Finance Committee passed its version of healthcare reform by a vote of 14-9. Since there are only 13 Democrats on the committee, that means that one brave Republican, Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine, cast at least this vote against the Party of No, to send this jambalaya gumbo of a bill to conference committee with “bipartisan support,” if in name only. All that hysterical, fingernails-raking-the-chalkboard nonsense Max Baucus mistook for productive negotiation netted him all of one vote. A vote he didn’t actually need to get the legislation out of committee. Good work Max. At least now we can get on with the real business of crafting legislation.

Yesterday, not 24 hours prior to the Finance Committee vote, the health insurance industry released a “study” finding that healthcare reform will increase the cost of insurance premiums for many families, primarily because the Baucus bill does not have a strict enough requirement for individuals to purchase coverage. First of all, I am stunned, blown away if you will, to hear insurance industry claims that reducing healthcare costs will make health insurance cost more. I am also shocked to learn that there is no Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny is a fraud, and there really was no magic in that old silk hat they found and placed on Frosty’s head after all. Second, let’s call this “report” what it is, a poorly disguised attempt at extortion. The goal in releasing this study one day before the vote was to frighten the easily terrified conservative Democrats on the committee into reworking the bill to provide them with additional subsidies and a stronger mandate. What they would like to do is force all Americans to purchase insurance, thereby netting themselves 30 million new customers, without having to be accountable to cost-cutting, premium-controlling measures.

I’m not entirely opposed to an insurance mandate. In fact, I think it’s probably fairly important. The most effective way to manage the risk is to have everyone in the pool. So I could be persuaded to accept a mandate - on one condition. That mandate comes complete with a public insurance option, forcing private insurers to compete for my insurance dollar. I may not see double digit decreases in my premiums or similar improvements in my coverage, but I will see benefits and I will know that I am getting the best value I can for my dollar. That’s the trade-off. They get an individual insurance mandate guaranteeing them 30 million plus new customers. I get a public option to ensure that they play fair.

In case you don’t have ears and haven’t heard, President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize last Friday. Congratulations Mr. President! I’m not sure that he meets what I would consider to be the qualifications for a Nobel Peace Prize at this early stage of your presidency, but what do I know, I’m not on the committee. So, once again, congratulations. To paraphrase the State Department, better to the thrown accolades than shoes.”

Among those upset with the award of the Peace Prize to President Obama were Hamas, the Taliban in Afghanistan, and Rush Limbaugh. In fact, on his radio show on Friday Limbaugh mused about finding himself in absolute agreement with the Taliban. Excuse me while I drown myself in my soup. I’m not going to waste any more bytes of data trying to understand Rush, I’ll just let his words speak for themselves. Rush Limbaugh agrees with the Taliban. Yeah. He said that.

Ever watched an awards show and wondered why a particular person or band captured an award you were certain should have gone to someone else? Ever get the feeling that perhaps the organization passing out the awards should perhaps have done a little more thinking and a little less drinking? Enter former Republican Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich. Last week, Gingrich and his Business Defense and Advisory Council issued their Entrepreneur Awards, then rescinded two of them when they discovered two of them had been awarded to a strip club and an adult DVD superstore respectively. I guess the names of the businesses “The Lodge” and “Pink Visual” offered Gingrich no clues as to the nature of their businesses. Or perhaps he did know, and fully intended for The Lodge and Pink Visual to receive his award. You never know with Newt, do you.

Several weeks ago, Fox News took out a full page ad accusing the other networks of “failing to cover” the Tea Party march on Washington last month, (even though CNN et al provided live coverage throughout the day). Their prime-time talking heads all wondered aloud how the “mainstream media” could have missed any gathering in the District of Columbia with 75,000 people - millions, according to Glenn Beck. Over the weekend, about 75,000 gay rights activists marched on Washington demanding an end to the military’s “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy and the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. So we can safely assume that Fox sent at least a camera crew and a couple of reporters to cover the rally, can’t we? Can’t we?

Much has been made by the political left of the President’s inaction on issues of paramount importance to gay rights activists. Let’s get this straight right off the top. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is a stupid policy and should be repealed. If you are adult enough to control multi-million dollar military hardware and to fight and kill and die for your country, you should be, no, must be adult enough to respect and co-exist with someone of a differing sexual orientation. Same goes for the DoMA. Unfortunately, changing these laws will require an act of Congress, and Congress is a little busy right now. Should they be able to walk and chew gum at the same time? Maybe. But they’ve proven time and time again that they can barely get the walking right, never mind extricating the gum from the wrapper. So, be patient. I know that’s difficult. Some people in this country waited hundreds of years for the right not to be strung up from a tree for doing nothing more than glancing at a woman with skin lighter than theirs. You’ll get your rights. Attempting to cast the President as a traitor to your cause only ten months into his term only damages your credibility. Did you honestly expect him to drop the economic crisis and the unemployment numbers and the healthcare debate and push through repeal of DoMA and DADT instead? Would you honestly be better off with John McCain and Sarah Palin? Honestly?

My NFL thoughts for Week 5:

Over the last 18 years, since I have been paying attention to professional football, I have never seen so many bad teams playing such terrible football in one season. Five weeks into the season, four teams remain winless, and two others narrowly escaped that fate by defeating teams almost as bad as they are. The state of Missouri is 0-10, with 0-12 looking more probable than possible. Through five games, the Washington Redskins have yet to play a team with even one win, yet are somehow 2-3. I thought there was parity in this league.

Game of the week this coming Sunday, the New York giants vs. the New Orleans Saints. The winner of this game will be the odds on favorite to represent the NFC in the Superbowl. I can think of no better story than New Orleans winning their first title. Hope this is nothing more than a bump in the road.

I continue to be amazed at the utter incompetence of the Oakland Raiders. Even the Detroit Lions, at their lowest point in last year’s winless season, were never as inept as the Raiders have been thus far. They could replace JaMarcus Russell with the Big Boy statue, save themselves $50 million and certainly not be any worse than they already are.

Speaking of ineptitude, Cleveland quarterback Derek Anderson completed an astounding 2 of 17 passes for a whopping 22 yards in the Browns’ mind-numbing 6-3 “victory” over the Buffalo Bills. The Mangenius replaced Brady Quinn with this guy? Really? And then he traded his only remaining offensive talent not named Josh Cribbs to the Jets - where he immediately scores two touchdowns - in return for absolutely nothing. Looks like there’s going to be a coaching vacancy - among other things - in Cleveland come January.

The Denver Broncos really are 5-0. Surprise! By defeating the Golden Boy and his minutemen in overtime, in uniforms that made them look like mustard-splattered hot dog buns, the Broncos cemented themselves as the phenomenon of the season. Same thing happened to Eric Mangini in his first year coaching the Jets. Here’s hoping Josh McDaniels fares better than the Mangenius.

Both Matt Hasselbeck and Donovan McNabb returned from broken ribs on Sunday to light up their opponents for 41 and 33 points respectively. In the two games in which Hasselbeck has completed this season, the Seahawks have out scored their opponents 69-0. In the two games in which McNabb has played, the Eagles have outscored their opponents 81-24. Imagine what these two teams could do these two guys could stay healthy for an entire season.

These are not the same old Bengals. They have somehow stopped finding ways to lose and instead have pulled out a victory in the last minute of each of their last three games - all against division rivals. This might be a bandwagon worth hopping on.

Peyton Manning is the best quarterback I have ever seen play pro football. Period.

My Superbowl picks for Week 5: New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts.

Finally, I can’t believe I’m mentioning his name twice in one post, but Rush Limbaugh and others have submitted a bid to purchase the miserable Saint Louis Rams. Limbaugh is from Missouri and a football fan, but he’s also a jackass, and, in the view of many, a racist. Unfortunately for him, about 65% of the players in the league are black, and several of them, with the support of the players union and at least one team owner have spoken out against the idea of Limbaugh buying the team. Several prominent players have gone so far as to indicate they would write clauses into their contracts stipulating they could not be traded to a Rams team under Limbaugh ownership. I suppose Rush could try to field a team without any black players, you know, just to stick it to the mainstream media who so desperately want black players to do well. But he would have to do so from a pool of four starting defensive ends, a handful of wide receivers, one (yes, one) running back and zero (count ‘em, zero) cornerbacks. The Rams are fully capable of going 0-16 on their own. They don’t need Limbaugh to make things any worse.