Just A Good Old Boy

The Dow Jones Industrial Average climbed past 10,000 points last week. My 401K no longer looks like a steaming pile of cow dung. It still isn't much of a nest egg, but I guess I’ll take what I can get.

Another slow week – unless you count “Balloon Boy,” which I don’t. The sad part about this whole balloon boy hoax is that in spite of all this nonsense, someone in the television business is likely to give this disgrace of a family 15 more minutes of fame.

There was one story that caught my eye late last week. A Louisiana justice of the peace refused to issue a marriage license to a couple because the would-be husband was black and his fiancée was white. And all out of concern for the children. Apparently, Justice Keith Bardwell is opposed to interracial marriage. “I’m not a racist,” he said, (insert eye-roll here), “I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way. I have piles and piles of black friends.” (Of course you do.) “They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom.” (You mean you’re so enlightened you even let black people use your bathroom? How magnanimous of you.) “I treat them just like everyone else.” But, “I think (biracial) children suffer and I won’t help put them through it.”

I know I conceal it pretty well, but I have a pretty low tolerance for $%^! like this. I don’t give a crap about Justice Bardwell personally. He can approve or disapprove of whomever or whatever he likes, that’s his business. He could be the grand wizard of his local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan for all I care, that’s not my problem. What he CANNOT do is deny American citizens their rights under the law.

On June 12th, 1967, the Supreme Court, in Loving v. Virginia, ruled 9-0 to end all race-based legal restrictions on marriage in the United States. In the State of Louisiana, applicants for a marriage license must provide a birth certificate, Social Security card, proof that any previous marriages have been dissolved, and $35. That’s it. Justice Bardwell’s “feelings” regarding interracial marriage and the effects on children are completely irrelevant. As an officer of the court, he is required to follow the law as it IS, not as he thinks it should be. He must perform his duties as justice of the peace, or resign his position and find a career that either does not require him to violate his principles, or otherwise accommodates his intolerance. He cannot have his cake and eat it too.

In recent weeks there has been some controversy over whether or not first responders and other healthcare workers should be required to be vaccinated against the swine flu. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t understand the bizarre anti-vaccine hysteria plaguing this country, but this one seems like a no-brainer to me. For the most part I think people should be able to decide whether or not they wish to be vaccinated against whatever. If you want to risk your own health, that’s your business. But first responders and healthcare workers are a slightly different story. Their work environment is rife with sickness and disease and weakened immune systems. They operate under the principle of “first, do no harm.” If the best way to reduce the potential harm from swine flu is to be vaccinated, why should they not be required to do so? A patient, bleeding and unconscious in the back of an ambulance does not have the luxury of tapping on the window and asking the driver to please reroute to the hospital where all the nurses have had their vaccinations. By choosing to work in a hospital or a clinic, one accepts a greater risk to one’s self. That greater risk should include the miniscule threat – posed by vaccination.

My NFL thoughts for Week 6:

The New Orleans Saints roundly defeated the “best team in football” 48-27 on Sunday, and it wasn’t nearly as close as that score makes it sound. I know it's only week 6, but Ill be sorely disappointed if this team isn’t playing football in February.

Despite a snowstorm in New England, the Patriots defeated what can only be described as the junior varsity Tennessee Titans, 59-0. That is not a misprint. For the sole purpose of sticking his thumbs in the eyes of his critics, the Golden Boy threw five touchdowns in ten minutes, and finished with six overall, to compliment his 370 passing on the day. Did I mention it was snowing the whole time?

On a related note, I’m a little tired of hearing analysts say that you have to run the ball in order to win game. That’s a sack of doo doo. The Patriots scored eight touchdowns Sunday afternoon, only two of which came on the ground. Two years ago that same team went 18-1 without any discernable rushing attack. You sure as hell can win games passing the ball. The Colts have been doing it for years, and the Saints and Patriots are doing it now.

I know there are still three teams without a victory, but the 2-4 Redskins look like the worst team in the league. I would rather pull out my fingernails with white-hot pliers than watch this team play football. Of the six teams they’ve played thus far, not one had a single victory at the time the Redskins played them. Things are so bad in Washington; the coach is no longer being allowed to call the plays. If you have a coach who isn’t allowed to call plays, why bother with a coach? You’d be better off dressing a mannequin in a sweatshirt and sitting it on the bench.

Three weeks ago, Jets rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez was the toast of Broadway. This week he is one Kellen Clemens away from riding the bench. Welcome to New York, Mark.

What happened to the Baltimore Ravens defense? A year ago the idea that they could be lit up for 30 points every week seemed about as absurd as the idea that the stock market would lose half its value.

The Philadelphia Eagles are an embarrassment to birds of prey everywhere. The real live pigeon on the field during that game did a better job of covering receivers than the Eagles defense.

My Superbowl picks for Week 6: New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts.

Finally, could somebody please explain to me the appeal of the ridiculous YouTube dancing baby? Seriously. Why do people watch this drivel? Are people lives really so devoid of joy that it’s more enjoyable to watch an animated baby gyrate to Beyonce than to, I don’t know, speak to a real person maybe?