Mmm... Donuts...

Remember what it was like to be young? Sleeping in late, staying up later, bribing your sister to do your chores, downing six cheeseburgers in one day. What’s that? You’ve never downed six cheeseburgers in one day? Why not? What do you mean downing six cheeseburgers a day will leave you looking like the Michelin Man? What were you doing with your childhood?

Apparently you knew things that kids in Arkansas did not – until about four years ago. That was when the state’s school began sending home obesity report cards. These report cards listed the child’s weight, body mass index and information regarding healthy eating and exercise. The government took this extraordinary step when they woke up one morning and realized that Arkansas was the third fattest state in the nation. There are plenty of lists upon which ranking third is almost as good as being first or second. I’m pretty sure this isn’t one of them.

The program appeared to be working. Since the creation of the report card system Arkansas has steadily reduced the amount of overweight or at risk children. One would think it might not be necessary to put in writing what should be obvious to anyone with at least one eyeball. Arkansas – like the rest of America - has a serious problem with obesity. Too many people eat too much food, get too little exercise, and weight far too damn much. All this extra mass is overloading our already fragile healthcare system with too many cases of high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, asthma, and other sicknesses responsible for prematurely ending the lives of too many people. Any idiot can see that.

The truth hurts, doesn’t it. Too much for state legislators. Beginning this school year the state decided to reduce the number of student weigh-ins and make it much easier to parents and students to opt out of the program. It seems they feel that informing children they are grossly overweight and might be causing permanent damage to themselves (according to an AP article some kids didn’t know it was a problem) would hurt their feelings, damage their fragile adolescent self-esteem. Unfortunately, the parents most likely to keep their kids out of the program are the kids who need the most help.

In the interests of full disclosure, I am overweight. Not obese (although it feels that way sometimes – usually after lunch on Thursday at the Chinese buffet), but certainly heavier than I should be. Does it hurt my feelings? A little. Especially when I notice I am the heaviest of my little circle of friends. But you know what’s worse? The fact that I have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life to combat my high blood pressure. It’s finally annoyed me to the point that I decided to do something about it. So I purchased myself a few exercise items and started working out. Slowly for now – don’t want to rupture a disc halfway through my sit-up regiment. But I’ve been doing several little things for the past few months and to this point I’ve lost about fifteen pounds and started to develop muscle definition I didn’t know I had.

I understand every parent wants their child to feel good about themselves, regardless of their weight and shape. But please understand just how much immense a problem obesity is. And be honest with them as well. Nothing will make them feel worse than doing nothing to correct the problem only to find themselves ten years from now, stumbling around the kitchen clutching their chests with both hands, desperately searching for the bottle of aspirin to combat the crippling pain of the heart attack they’re suffering. I think that given the choice they would opt for a little social discomfort during their high school years to prevent much greater pain later on in life. In fact, they’re children, they shouldn’t be given the option not to. Parents should make sure that the health and well being of their children should take precedence over their self-esteem. Healthy active children will find it much easier to build self-esteem than the kid who can’t make it to first base without collapsing in the dirt halfway there. Do them a favor. Take the Ding Dongs and the potato chips out of the shopping cart and force-feed them a carrot. They might hate you now, but believe me, they will thank you later. So will the person who has to sit next to them in the window seat on that eight-hour trans-Atlantic flight.