Caveat Emptor

Incase you haven’t heard yet, the Federal Reserve is now offering interest-free loans to institutions who will in turn, refuse to lend you said money. Isn’t capitalism wonderful?

We are now well into week two of Blagojovich resignation watch.  And we’re still watching.  Springfield is a buzz with chatter of impeachment and special elections and removal from office, but the governor has hired a lawyer and refuses to step down.  So, there’s nothing new to report.  And when there’s nothing new to report, the media resort to rampant speculation.  In spite of emphatic statements to the contrary by the U.S. Attorney, president-elect Obama and even the wire-tapped voice of the disgraced governor himself, every news report on the incident contains some vague reference to an inference that the incoming administration might possibly have had what could have been inappropriate conversations regarding Obama’s vacated senate seat, maybe.  It’s getting a little silly.  If you have something to report, report it.  If you don’t, let it go.
 
Lost in the Blago-mania last week was the irony that the newspaper that broke the scandal filed for bankruptcy the same day.  Today, (Tuesday), the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press announced they will be cutting home delivery to three days a week and dramatically scaling back the size of the newsstand edition for the remainder of the week.  Yes, if you didn’t know before, it should be painfully obvious now that the newspaper business is on life-support.  It has been for a while. And nobody seems to know how to resuscitate it. Their parent companies are drowning in debt and hemorrhaging cash, resorting to desperate measures just to say afloat. Last week the New York Times essentially took out a home equity loan on its Manhattan office building to keep from going under.

Newspapers in the information age have two fundamental problems. The first is obvious. Any news in the paper is by nature, yesterday’s news. Why would anyone pay for old news when they can get new news on the internet for free? Second, newspapers cost a lot of money to print, so they charge a significant amount for advertising. Why would anyone pay significant amounts of money to reach the very limited audience of even a large newspaper when they can reach potentially billions of people for little or no cost through the web? Clearly, if the newspaper industry is going to survive, they are going to have to rethink their business model. Accordingly, I’d like to suggest the following industry modifications. Shift most - if not all the hard news resources to the internet, updating the newspaper’s web pages continuously, as news happens. That solves the problem of printing stale news. Then, formulate the remainder of the information, news analysis, local news, human interest stories, arts and entertainment and classifieds into a news magazine printed and delivered two or three times a week. It’s not a perfect solution, but it certainly can’t be any worse than the current business model.

At a press conference during a surprise visit to Iraq this past Sunday, President Bush found himself the target of an angry Iraqi reporter, ducking for cover behind the podium as the man hurled first one shoe then another, just inches past his head. To his credit, the president remains fairly agile and was unhurt by the projectiles. My guess is he’s thankful they were just shoes.

The big news on Wall Street this week was the curious case of one Bernard Madoff and his 50 billion dollar investment Ponzi scheme. For at least the past ten years, Madoff took millions from investors, promising them - and apparently delivering double-digit returns on their investments, regardless of whether the market went up or down. Well, it turns out that numbers that were too good to be true, were, well... too good to be true. Surprise! Who would have thought that a fifteen percent return ten years in a row, irrespective of market conditions might be an outright fraud? The fact is, absolutely NO ONE - including more than a few people with advanced degrees - knew how Madoff was making his money, but as long as it was rolling in hand-over-fist, nobody cared. It’s obvious that we have learned nothing from previous financial scandals like Enron and MCI. If you do not have at least a rudimentary understanding of how it works, perhaps you should not be investing in it. If your investment company is unwilling to explain your financial statement to you, they shouldn’t be your investment company. Why do otherwise intelligent people turn into blithering idiots at the sight of double-digit returns?

My NFL thoughts for Week 15:

Without Brandon Jacobs, the New York Giants look absolutely ordinary. Sorta like the Cowboys without Marion Barber.

Terrell Owens is a joke. A six-year-old in a middle-aged man’s body. He’s been a cancer to every single team he’s played for, and he makes it very difficult for me to respect Dallas.

How can the Pittsburgh Steelers continue to produce playoff caliber teams year after year after year? It doesn’t seem to matter who the coach is, who the players are or where the games are played, the Steelers make the playoffs, or at least contend throughout the season. How is it so easy for them, yet so difficult for teams like Detroit?

I think it’s time for the league to revamp the playoff system. Both the Denver Broncos and the Arizona Cardinals could make the playoffs with an 8-8 record, while three - maybe four teams with 10-6 records could find themselves watching from their living rooms. That doesn’t seem right. Just take the six teams in each conference with the best records, period. Find a flaw in that logic.

The Green Bay Packers are painful to watch. This team was one interception away from the Superbowl a year ago. Now they are in serious jeopardy of being the first team to drop a game to the Detroit Lions this year. Where did the good times go?

Matt Cassel pitched four touchdowns in this weekend’s obliteration of the junior varsity Oakland Raiders. Who needs Tom Brady?

Over the past two weeks, the Carolina Panthers have absolutely embarrassed both defenses they’ve played. I would like nothing more than to see them continue that right through the Superbowl. But I’m used to being disappointed.

My Superbowl picks for Week 15: Carolina Panthers vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

Apparently, Internet Explorer has some kind of huge security flaw that leaves computers open to attack from hackers and the like.  Why is this news?  Of course Internet Explorer has some kind of flaw in it, IT’S MICROSOFT INTERNET EXPLORER!  It’s been flawed since its inception.  Are people really still using Internet Explorer?  What’s wrong with you people?  How many times do you have to be punched in the face before you learn how to duck?

Saw this headline on CNN.com today: Nude models strip to protest low pay.  Hmm.  So you protested your job by... doing your job?  Interesting.

Finally, Dubai will soon be offering the world’s first refrigerated beach.  That’s right, a refrigerated beach.  First an indoor ski resort, now a refrigerated beach. You just can’t give rich people money.