It Doesn't Matter What Your Name Is!

There is some big news this week. The President nominated what would be the first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice to the high court on Tuesday, and in response, de-facto GOP leader Rush Limbaugh revealed himself once again to be the blithering idiot a growing number of people understand him to be. The California Supreme Court upheld Proposition 8, as well as the 18,000 same-sex marriages performed in the state before it’s passage. A “homegrown” terrorist plot was foiled in New York City by fake weapons provided by the F.B.I. Mike Tyson’s 4-year-old daughter died in a treadmill accident at her home. And Ashton Kutcher threatened to stop twittering. But I’ll get to all that stuff later this week. Something’s been bothering me for several days now, and I want to get through that first.

Several years ago, before achieving moderate success in Hollywood, Dwayne Johnson was a W.W.E. professional wrestler known as “The Rock.” His character was brash, boisterous, arrogant and clever, a huge force of personality, and even as a heel (bad guy, for those not fluent in rastling-speak) he was an enormous fan favorite. As the Rock he delivered many witty quips and biting one-liners to the roar of an approving crowd. However, the witticism relevant to what I’d like to write about would happen as follows: During backstage “interviews,” the Rock would spend a few moments chatting up the interviewer, complimenting him/her on a question or an article of clothing. This would lead the interviewer to drop his/her guard an warm up to him a little. The Rock would then throw out a rather innocuous question, like asking the interviewer his/her name. And as soon as the interviewer opened his/her mouth to respond, the Rock would snatch the microphone from a startled interviewer, look him/her dead in the eyes and scream, “It doesn’t matter what your name is!,” then launch into his remarks concerning the upcoming match. I like to refer to that tactic as “controlling the message.”

Modern politics is a little like professional wrestling. Two bitter rivals, hyping themselves through interviews and public appearances, throwing metaphorical elbows and drop-kicks and head-butts in the policy debate, pinning the opponent by winning elections and legislative battles, then going out for a beer with the rest of the guys after the show. But more often than not, the real winner of a wrestling watch is not the guy that pinned his opponent, but the guy that controlled the message and the narrative of his character. Politics is no different. Winners control the message. Winning gives them the ability to so, and the fact that they do so enables further victories. It is a lesson all winners must learn in order to maintain their position at the top. And no winners in the history of politics more desperately need to understand this than the Democratic party.

This past week, the party lead by a president elected in an electoral college landslide, the party with a filibuster-proof 60-vote majority in the Senate, the party with more votes in the House than they know what to do with, was completely and utterly defeated in the media this week by a party crushed in the past two two elections, feuding amongst itself and still without a legitimate leader. How did this happen? Because the Democrats failed to control the message. Democrats don’t know how to be winners.

Republicans understand one thing VERY well. Fear. The success of the Republican party is dependent upon creating a perpetual state of fear and loathing. As long as people are terrified, Republicans believe people will turn to them for protection from the ghouls and ghosts and goblins waiting to devour us just beyond our borders - and along the East and West coasts. And last week, the Democrats folded like a bad poker hand, the same way they’ve done time and time again in the face of even the most pathetic opposition. Save for six, every last Democratic senator voted against funding the closing of the Guantanamo Bay detention center, a policy every single one of them voraciously endorsed barely four months ago. Instead of making the case that torture is amoral and unethical and should not be undertaken by agents of the U.S. government, Democrats wasted valuable time and resources trying to track down whether or not the CIA gave briefings when they said they did and what the Speaker of the House may or may not have known and when she may or may not have known it.

“But Mark, Nancy Pelosi knew...” IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT NANCY PELOSI KNEW, OR WHEN SHE KNEW IT! Torture is evil, and those who practice torture should be forced to face the consequences of their actions, regardless of who they are. I’ll be the last person to call for an investigation of the previous administration, for reasons I’ve detailed many times before. But if there is going to be some sort of investigation, then everybody connected with torture should be punished, regardless of party affiliation. If it turns out that the Speaker is culpable in some manner, then let the punishment fit the crime. The fact that she may or may not have been told some ambiguous morsel of classified information has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not people were waterboarded 183 times. NOTHING!

“But Mark, Dick Cheney says that if we don’t torture people and intern them indefinitely, then terrorism...” IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT DICK CHENEY SAYS! EVER! For six years nobody could get this guy to open his mouth to anyone with any information whatsoever! Now that nobody is interested in anything he has to say, he won’t shut up! Stop cowering in fear every single time someone utters the words national security! The Guantanamo Bay detention facility will be closed because America doesn’t hold suspects indefinitely without charge, without trial and without punishment. “Terrorists” will not be “released” onto the mainland to hide in your hedges and crawl in through your basement windows while you’re asleep. There are already more than a few convicted terrorists held currently in the nation’s supermax prison, none of them “radicalizing” the prison population, no attempts made to “liberate” them by sympathetic individuals or groups. How many assaults have been made on Guantanamo Bay to free the prisoners?

Grow a spine, Democrats. Quit cannibalizing each other the moment the opposition points a finger at you. And when somebody tries to slap a bumper sticker on you, stalk across the parking lot and key their car. You won the election, act like it. Your President is. Instead of sticking your finger in his eye, try learning something from him. In fact, learn this first: the media is not your friend. It is your tool. Use it to communicate your message. The media will print, blog or broadcast whatever you want, so long as it makes headlines. The President figured this out, who haven’t you? Give the media what it wants, give it headlines. Just make sure they’re your headlines. And make sure the message is loud and clear - louder and clearer than anything your opponents can eek out in the pauses between your sentences. It doesn’t matter what they think. When you want their opinion, you’ll give it to them. If you start acting like winners, people might actually begin to believe you are winners. Imagine the possibilities.