In Trump We Trust

Note to self: Jumbo omelette, followed by macho tacos, and rounded out with chips and salsa and mexican style burrito the following day equals two days of gastrointestinal hell spent tethered to the bathroom. Never do that again.

As a result of being tethered to the bathroom, my knowledge of the current events is limited. So, this post will be short, and probably limited to stories with brief headlines and easy punch lines.

Sarah Palin has signed an estimated 7-11 million dollar deal to publish a tell-all book about her life and political experiences. Apparently, Palin can’t wait to, “put (her) journalism degree to work on this and get to tell (her) story, Alaska’s story.” Yeah. You know what nobody cares about? Alaska’s story. But, I guess if people are willing to pay Sarah Palin millions of dollars to rehash things they’ve already heard, more power to them. This story bores me.

Former vice president Dick Cheney is at it again, running his mouth about his support for torture and dislike of Republicans that don’t measure up to his standards of conservatism and his hated of the current administration. What a turn-around for this guy. A medical miracle of sorts. After suffering through what must have been eight excruciating years of verbal constipation, Cheney suddenly can’t contain his verbal diarrhea. I can’t decide which is worse.

During the White House Correspondents’ dinner last Saturday night, President Obama directed some humor at RNC chairman Michael Steele, saying that the Republican party doesn’t qualify for a federal bailout, and that Rush Limbaugh doesn’t qualify as a troubled asset. While intended as a joke, a bailout is something the RNC might seriously want to consider, if they can stop bludgeoning each other long enough file the paperwork. Last week, Steele attacked former presidential candidate Mitt Romney saying the Republican base rejected him because they have issues with Mormonism and question his commitment to opposing abortion. Romney retaliated by suggesting Steele is unable to lead the party. Mike Huckabee savaged the new Republican “listening tour” as pathetic and laughable, and party spokesman Limbaugh made it perfectly clear that the Republican party is for zealots only, “moderates” like Colin Powell, or John McCain, need not apply. The reason Republicans are unable to mount coherent opposition to the Democrats is because they can’t seem to decide what they want that opposition to be. What is shaping up is a battle between conservative ideological purists and conservative pragmatists for control of the Republican party. The winner of that battle will determine the direction of the party and how quickly they will be able to return to prominence. I hope they’re capable of making the right decision. Not terribly hopeful that they will.

Love the new Burger King commercial with the Kingons. Not quite on the level of "phonebook implants," or "butts with sharp right angles," but funny none-the-less.

In a statement released yesterday, owner of the Miss U.S.A. pageant, Donald Trump, stated that despite the fact that she violated pageant rules by failing to disclose the existence of nude and semi-nude photos to officials, Miss California, Carrie Prejean will retain her crown because she’s just “so beautiful.” According to the Donald, if Miss Prejean wasn’t “so beautiful,” no one would care about what she said or what she did. So, because she is “so beautiful,” she should be allowed to flaunt the rules and keep her job. Sigh. In Trump we trust. I hope every single parent of a girl in America reads his statement to their daughters tonight. They have the right to know what type of world they’re growing up in.