...The Rest of the Story

Over the weekend we lost one of the great voices in American radio. The legendary Paul Harvey died on Saturday at the age of 91. Rest in peace Paul.

Congratulations. In addition to our 36% stake in Citigroup, we the taxpayer are now 80% shareholders in the steaming pile of doo doo that used to be AIG. This might actually have been fun a year ago when AIG shares were trading at $70 each. Now that they’re hovering around 40 cents, ownership is somewhat less appealing. I understand how enormous this company is (over a trillion dollars in assets worldwide) and the absolute disaster that would befall the world markets should it fail, but to borrow an analogy I heard earlier today, if the pipe is leaking, you can’t fix it by pumping more water through it. Yes, increasing the pressure (flooding it with capital) will ensure that SOME water still makes it to the faucet on the other end, but at some point, you have to REPAIR the pipe. This afternoon AIG posted a $62 billion quarterly loss. That’s $689 million a day over the past 90 days. And they will continue to lose that kind of money until the underlying cause of that loss is removed from the books. The company “invested” heavily in creative financial instruments like credit default swaps, which are essentially insurance policies on sub-prime loans – real and imagined, purchased with leveraged capital. So, every time someone defaults on their loan, AIG pays out obscene amounts of money that it never had in the first place to cover the payout on the insurance policy. Despite all the talk of the creation of a “bad bank” to absorb all these so-called “toxic assets” and remove them from the balance sheets of the investments banks, the government has been hesitant to do so because they are afraid of over-paying for assets for which no one can seem to assign a value to. But they are simply delaying the inevitable, and flushing money down a leaky pipe in the process. As long as the assets remain on the books, the hemorrhaging will continue. Fix the pipe. Set a price and buy the assets so the banks and insurance companies can start over with healthy balance sheets, and make sure this is never allowed to happen again.

President Obama addressed the Nation from the floor of the House of Representatives last Tuesday night in a not-quite-State of the Union speech in which he tried to be all thing to all people. Indications are that he succeeded. People seemed to think he was realistic, yet optimistic. Enthusiastic, yet reserved. Professorial, yet inspirational. A little bit country, a little bit rock-n-roll. All of which set the stage for the much anticipated Republican response, delivered by “rising GOP star”, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. How would would-be President Jindal respond to Obama’s oratory? Um… not so well. Jindal more closely resembled an animatronic Mr. Rogers than a serious conservative leader, relating partially fabricated stories about cutting through government bureaucracy, ridiculing wasteful government spending that might not be so wasteful after all, perpetuating false claims about his state’s recovery from Hurricane Katrina without Federal Government help, and insisting that all would be right with the world if we only gave everyone a tax cut. I know it’s early – way too early to be talking about another election, but if this is the best the Republican Party can do, it’s going to be a long 8 years (at least) for them.

On the heels of the Tuesday night speech, Obama release his first budget blueprint, outlining what he hopes to accomplish over the next four years. It calls for $3.6 trillion in spending this coming year, with a total federal deficit of 1.75 trillion. In many ways it is a more accurate budget than any during the past several decades in that it includes funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and leaves out revenue from the Alternative Minimum Tax, which Congress always patches and never actually collects. There are increases for defense, and education, a tax cut for all families earning less than $250,000 per year, and sets aside $600 billion for healthcare reform, which is a far more serious look at the healthcare system than anyone has taken I recent memory. The biggest battle is Congress is sure to be over the coming tax increase on the top income bracket in 2011. Obama wants to allow the Bush tax cuts to expire, while Republicans want them to continue. However, passage of the Federal Budget does not require a 60-vote Senate majority, and is therefore not subject to a filibuster. So, the chances of Republicans throwing a hissy-fit and getting their way on that issue are virtually non-existent.

Note to House Minority Whip Eric Cantor; you sir are no Newt Gingrich. And his name is Newt for crying out loud.

Congressman Bobby Rush needs to get as far away from television cameras as humanly possible. A product of the Civil Rights era, Rush sees himself as defender of all things Afro-American, whether or not those things are defensible. His cause du-jour is one Illinois Senator Roland Burris, who stands accused of impropriety in obtaining his Senate seat from now disgraced Illinois Governor Blagojevich. Burris recently admitted to being asked to and attempting to raise money for Blago’s re-election while under consideration for President Obama’s vacated seat. Burris defended himself by claiming that because he was unsuccessful at raising money, his incompetence absolves him of any wrong-doing. Bobby Rush agrees, adding in a not-so-veiled reference to Ted Kennedy, something to the effect of, “it’s not like someone drove off a bridge… no one died.” Note to Congressman Rush; pointing to one person’s poor behavior to justify someone else’s unethical behavior only serves to damage your own credibility. Defending the indefensible because it was perpetrated by a member of your own race makes you look foolish and disinclines people to take you seriously. Ask Al Sharpton.

Could someone please lock Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann in her closet, before she hurts herself? Seriously, it’s for her own good. During the Presidential campaign she suggested that members of Congress be questioned regarding their allegiance to the United State, a la Joseph McCarthy. In a talk radio interview last week following the pseudo State of the Union address she complained that due to taxation, America is, “running out of rich people.” (I’m not sure what Soviet nightmare Bachmann is living in, but the number of millionaires in the United States as of 2007 had grown to about 3.2 million, up from about 2.4 million in 2004.) Her latest foot-in-mouth moment came at the Conservative Political Action Conference over the weekend when she told newly elected RNC Chairman Michael Steele that he, “…be da man!” To be fair, Steele has set himself up for such stupidity by talking about bringing conservatism into “urban, suburban hip hop setting.” But Bachmann should be embarrassed to make such a fool of herself in front of so many people. The fact that she isn’t embarrassed should tell us something about Michelle Bachmann.

Speaking of Michael Steele, apparently he didn’t get the memo. Steele is under the impression that just because he was elected leader of the Republican Party, that he is indeed leader of the Republican Party. The actual leader of the Republican Party and the self-proclaimed standard-bearer of conservatism Rush Limbaugh felt the need to slap him down a few notches this past weekend. Limbaugh has been on quite a tear lately, attacking everyone from David Brooks, to Bill Kristol to Charles Krauthammer to (insert conservative pundit here) for not labeling Obama the anti-Christ. In one Sunday interview, Steele had the audacity to refer to Rush as an entertainer who sometimes engaged in ugly rhetoric. Naturally averse to the truth, Limbaugh fired back at Steele, accusing him of secretly supporting the President and the House and Senate leadership, and wanting to turn the party over to the Democrats. I actually feel a little sorry for Michael Steele. I’m not sure he fully understood what he was up against in trying to revamp the image of the GOP. Conservatives are fundamentally averse to change. It’s right there in the name, conservative. Antonym of progressive. Good luck with that urban suburban hip hop conservatism. Keep an eye on the apology clock. UPDATE: Michael Steele has come to his senses and apologized to his overlord and savior Rush Limbaugh, begging forgiveness for his insubordination. Steele now says of his relationship with Limbaugh, after last night’s heart to heart, that “We are all good.” And so they lived happily ever after. Elapsed time; 48 hours.

For his part, Limbaugh is engaging in the same behavior for which he has lambasted liberals for at least the past eight years. His hatred of Obama and of progressives and of liberalism has lead him to openly rout for four more years of economic, political and social disaster to ensure the survival of himself and the Republican Party. He would rather see America collapse into a third world country than to accept the idea that there might be some measure of validity to an approach different from his. Congratulations Rush. You are what you despise.

The State of Georgia is considering allowing counties to decide whether or not they will allow the sale of alcohol on Sundays. For some reason this is causing consternation among people in Georgia who don’t seem to see the absurdity of the current system. I am not drinker. I can count the number of alcoholic beverages I’ve consumed in my lifetime on one hand. But I cannot for the life of me understand why it is that in some states, one can legally purchase an adult beverage Monday thru Saturday, yet not on Sunday? Is the liquor toxic on Sunday? Why is it acceptable for someone to drive to a bar, consume liquor, then drive home intoxicated, but unacceptable to drive to the store sober, take the liquor home and drink it there?

Actress and smokin’ hot babe Megan Fox called off her engagement to now ex-boyfriend Brian Austin Green. That’s right fellas, there’s still hope. Lock up your Cape Buffaloes and hide Olivia Wilde.

Have I mentioned that I hate Tom Brady? If not, here it is; I hate Tom Brady. The 31-year-old three-time Superbowl-winning quarterback commercial pitchman and Internet porn connoisseur married long-time girlfriend and Brazilian supermodel Giselle Bundchen last Thursday in a small private ceremony attended by, among other family members, her three dogs. First, who gets married on a Thursday? How lame is that? But I guess when you’re Tom Brady you can get away with that crap. Second… you know what, never mind. There is no second. At least I don’t have to hear about him fixing peoples flat tires at midnight on the side of the road or taking homeless guys to the movies.

Several weeks ago a story appeared in the New York Times about the lifestyle changes CEOs would have to make to conform to the new salary limits imposed on recipients of government bailout funds. Such “sacrifices” included cutting back to a single nanny, reducing trips to swanky Manhattan restaurants and canceling the week in Hawaii with the mistress. This week the Times printed another story explaining how smaller bonuses due to the financial crisis mean fewer upscale New Yorkers can afford to send their four-year-olds to $22K per year kindergarten. I remain undecided as to whether these stories are intended to be serious or satirical. It’s difficult to take anything printed in the Style section of the Times seriously, but I assume the writers intends the readers to do just that. If the purpose of these articles is to engender some sort of empathy for parents who spend (in this case) upwards of $66,000 “educating” a toddler, they fail miserably. No one living anywhere but the Upper East Side reads about the “plight” of these people without laughing so hard they shoot milk out of their noses. Want to save a little money? Try parenting. It’s cheaper. It’s articles like these that help the New York Times retain its snooty East Coast liberal elitist reputation.

Finally, a new topless coffee shop has opened for business in Vassalboro, Maine. Word is it’s just like any other coffee shop, except that the servers are topless. Why on earth did I not think of this? What goes better with coffee than bare breasts? To be fair and non-discriminatory, the cafe employs both topless men and women. Business is fairly brisk, yet still hampered by the cold, snowy New England winter. I’m sure sales will “perk up” once the temperature rises.