I don’t care what anybody says. If your car has four doors, it IS NOT a coupe. You can call it whatever you want if it makes you feel younger, hipper and/or more relevant, but understand it’s not a coupe. A coupe has two doors. Sedans have four. If it makes you sad to discover your are the proud owner of a sedan when you thought you bought a coupe, I’m sorry. But the world is full of sadness. Deal with it.
General Motors, once the icon of American industrial prowess, has been given 60 days to restructure itself or face restructuring by a bankruptcy court. Chrysler has been given 30 days to finalize a merger with Fiat, or face the same fate - or worse. After four months and 25 billion taxpayer dollars, it’s finally come to this. There are a lot of people in Michigan who don’t understand why much of the rest of the country seems indifferent to the potential loss of such a significant part of the American identity. I’m not sure I understand it either, but I think I can explain it.
Forget about perceived and real quality issues, a stunning lack of design creativity and the fact that most people simply don’t believe the industry has any effect on them, the principle problem with the automotive industry boils down to a simple lack of respect. I grew up in Oshawa, a car town. Everybody in town either worked at, or knew someone that worked at the General Motors plant in town, or the Chrysler plant 20 kilometers away in Ajax. Every single elementary school kid took a tour of the GM factory, riding around on the little electric cart, past the paint bath, around the stamping machines, and alongside the hoist line where they bolt the engines into place. And we all saw the same thing. A lot of (mostly) guys walking back and forth over the same three feet of concrete, tightening the same four bolts, spot welding the same four hinges and inserting the same four floor mats, eight hours a day, five days a week, 48 weeks a year. Then we found out how much a lot of these (mostly) guys got paid to tighten the bolts and weld the hinges and insert the floor mats. We compared their shiny late model vehicles to our not-so-gently used imports and their suburban brick houses to our half-century-old dwellings on the edges of town. And we came to the obvious, inescapable conclusion that many - if not most of these (mostly) guys got paid pretty darn well for what appeared to be fairly unskilled labor. There it is. That’s the truth. People think they understand how the automobile manufacturing process works. Steel goes in one end, cars come out the other, and trained monkeys could accomplish whatever happens in between. So when General Motors asks Congress for $15 billion to continue operating, what many people hear is the zookeeper asking management for more bananas to placate the monkeys lounging around the pen on their coffee break.
Face it. Nobody understands what a credit default swap is. Nobody understands how collateralized debt obligations work. Most people don’t want to. They figure those things were created by people infinitely smarter than they are who obviously deserve every penny of that seven-figure bonus because they must know what they’re doing. If we can’t get them to fix the mess, who will? But cars? People understand cars. They think the machines do all the work and the people just sit around cracking jokes about the posters in their lockers and scheming about how to con additional sick days out of the company for $55 and hour. And when they hear that forty thousand more of those jobs are on the chopping block they can’t wait to hear about the next round of pink slips. Fair or not, that’s what the American auto industry is up against. Repairing that image may be more difficult than dragging these companies back from the edge of financial oblivion.
And before I hear any whining and complaining about how the government is interfering in private businesses, if you don’t want the interference, don’t take the money. If you’re a recording artist and you borrow money from the record label to produce your album, the label owns you long after you’ve paid that money back. They tell you what to play, where to play, how often to play and how much to charge for tickets. If you want to maintain your artistic integrity, produce the album with your own money. If you want complete control over your company, don’t come to Washington with your hands out begging for billions of dollars in taxpayer money.
Several weeks ago several GOP senators hit the Sunday morning talk show circuit to rip the administration over their handling of bank bailouts. To a man, they said that what the government should be doing is temporarily taking over failing banks, replacing the management, wiping out the bad assets, selling off the good ones and returning it to private hands as soon as possible. (Not one of them would use the word nationalization, but a duck is a duck even if you call it an elephant.) So, early last week Treasury Secretary Geithner went before Congress seeking the very same powers to intervene in failing institutions deemed too big to fail that the afore mentioned senators had peddled during their media blitz. But apparently a good idea is only a good idea if it comes out of the mouth of someone with an (R) next to their name. Suddenly Republicans were “very nervous” about giving powers of intervention to the administration they had demanded intervention from two days earlier. I agree that we don’t want to make a habit out of federal involvement in private business, and that the ideal way to deal with institutions that are “too big to fail” is to prevent them from becoming too big to fail in the first place. But in some cases, that genie is already out of the bottle, and provisions to allow a rapid, orderly restructuring of a failing company prior to its failure seem like a reasonable idea.
In an attempt to transform itself from the party of “no” to the party of “no, but,” the GOP released an 18-page pamphlet last week entitled “The Republican Road to Recovery,” a blueprint to a Republican alternative to President Obama’s $3.6 trillion budget proposal. The blueprint was long on wind and short on numbers, but GOP leaders promised more details would follow later this week - on April 1 to be exact. Yes, the Republican party intends to release its budget alternative to the public on April Fool’s Day. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.
I know I for one am waiting with baited breath on the edge of my seat to find out what magical mystical mix of tax cuts, defense spending and tax cuts will get us rolling along the Republican road to recovery. And that mix is apparently still up in the air. Several Republican representatives have reportedly been working on a fairly detailed proposal for several weeks and are not particularly happy with the 18-pages outline released last week. They still intend to introduce their own bill to compete for irrelevance with the official blueprint. But Indiana’s own Mike Pence is optimistic. “I hope the (Democratically-controlled) Congress will adopt our proposal,” he reported said with a straight face. When reminded that his party holds a significant minority of seats in both the House and the Senate, Congressman Pence replied with the following: “I have always believed that a minority in Congress, plus the American people equals the majority.” Apparently Mike Pence has already forgotten how he ended up with a minority in Congress. If he had the majority of the American people... well, you get the picture. Photocopy it and send it to Mike.
And now for this week’s episode of I Don’t Think That Means What You Think It Means. In response to a statement about currency reserves by the Chinese government last week, Minnesota representative Fox Mulder - I mean Michelle Bachman, sorry, introduced a bill to prevent the United States from adopting a currency of legal tender other than the current form. What the Chinese finance minister actually said was that due to the recent instability of the U.S. dollar, the International Monetary Fund - and the Chinese government in particular - might want to consider adopting some other, more stable form of reserve currency other than U.S. dollars. As it stands right now, foreign governments, sovereign wealth funds and international institutions and organizations can invest in and hold cash reserves in whatever currency they choose, be it dollars or euros or yen or chocolate covered pretzel sticks. The minister was making the point that if the U.S. economy does not stabilize, it might be in the best interest of international investors and agencies to convert their holdings to a different form of currency. But apparently, Ms. Bachman interpreted the comments as some kind of demand that the United States adopt the currency of some foreign nation as legal tender here, and rushed to counter the non-existent threat with legislation to the contrary. When did the State of Minnesota become the People’s Republic of What-the $@#&?
Finally, comedian Stephen Colbert has been declared the winner of NASA’s online poll soliciting a name for the new wing of the International Space Station. Originally, the space agency wanted to name the new module “Serenity,” I assume after the spaceship of the same name in the science fiction film of the same name which crashed into a planet while being chased by cannibals. But instead of just naming the module Serenity, NASA decided to be cute and put it to a public vote, stacking the deck for the name they wanted. But Colbert got wind of the contest and pitched it to his viewers, who, by the time voting closed, had pushed him over the top with 230,539 of the 1.1 million votes cast. Of course, NASA never saw it coming. The agency left themselves an out in the contest rules however, stipulating that regardless of the outcome of the poll, they would be free to choose whatever name they wanted, whether it came up in the contest or not. So the comedian and the space agency are at a standoff. Colbert has threatened to “seize power as space’s evil tyrant overlord if NASA doesn’t abide by the contest results. NASA refuses to announce a decision for at least another week, but rumor is they are considering placing Colbert’s name on one of the toilets in the new wing. I think that if it comes down to it, Colbert will be more than happy with that compromise.
3.31.2009
3.25.2009
Purgatory
You know, I had planned a serious, high-intensity, foaming-at-the-mouth rant for this evening. I was raging mad at AIG executives, raging mad at the murder of three Oakland police officers, raging mad the former vice president blathering on unchallenged and unintelligently in a CNN interview, raging mad at the fact that in a country that sells a spreadable blend of bacon and mayonnaise in a squeeze bottle, I can’t get a Cadbury creme-filled chocolate bar for Easter. But then the time came to commit all this rage to the ether and the desire just... fizzled. I think I’m suffering from rage fatigue. Being angry, all the time, and every single little thing to come across my metaphorical desk, is difficult. Takes too much work. The muscle-twitching, shallow-breathing, eyebrow-furrowing, fist-clenching, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week - it’s just not worth it. It’s a lot to put up with just to get another day older and high blood pressure. So, tonight, I’m going to make it (almost) all the way through this post rage free. This will probably be pretty short.
After seven days of hysterical “populist outrage” at all things AIG, it seems cooler heads will prevail in figuring out how to recoup unwarranted bonus money from employees of the company’s financial services division. Upon discovering early last week that AIG was using taxpayer bailout money to pay over $100 million bonuses to the very same geniuses who ran the company into the ground, both Congress and the media went into overdrive, each trying to prove they were more outraged than the other. At one point certain senators indicated executives should apologize to the public and either resign or commit suicide. The public roast of AIG made the automotive CEOs flying to Washington on private jets to beg for money look like girl scouts selling cookies. To hear the cable news talking heads tell the story one might be forgiven for thinking the Republic was about to grind to a halt. However, like most things in the nation’s capital, there was much more smoke here than fire. So, let’s get a few things straight.
First, there is a culture of excess on Wall Street that is difficult for most other people with jobs to understand. The very idea that someone should receive a multi-million dollar bonus for complete and utter failure is absolutely absurd. Unimaginable - everywhere but Wall Street. These jokers have an unlimited sense of entitlement. They believe it’s their world, and their money, and the rest of us just get in the way. And if you think a little hiccup like losing a trillion dollars on a bad gamble is going to change that attitude, you simply aren’t living in the real world.
Second, this idea being perpetrated by certain pundits that contracts are sacred and must be honored come hell or high water is ridiculous. Ask any United Auto Worker how untouchable a contract is. I’m sure they’ll be able to offer some enlightenment. The fact is that a contract is only a contract until the party with the most leverage decides that it isn't. When you receive a Citibank credit card, you agree to a contract that stipulated you will be granted the use of Citibank’s credit on the condition that you agree to repay the money you borrow on their schedule and on their terms. Citibank can - at any time - alter the terms of that contract, increasing the late payment fee, or adjusting the interest rate or changing the payment schedule. Once they do this, you have two choices. Sign the agreement accepting the new terms, or close the account and try to get credit somewhere else. Thanks to the incompetence of the very employees receiving bonuses for non-performance, the federal government now owns a controlling 80% interest in AIG. They hold all the leverage. The government is perfectly within its right to say to these idiots, we are not going to allow you to send the global economy into free-fall while you laugh all the way to whatever’s left of the bank.
Finally, we spent an entire week raging over $100 million in bonus money, when we should have been focusing on the hundreds of BILLIONS of dollars these vampires sucked out of the retirement savings of millions of people! I know that as Americans we love to pick out insignificant details and beat them to death in the news cycle while ignoring the big picture, but a little perspective on this matter wouldn’t hurt. Instead of wasting time trying to figure out how to recapture breadcrumbs, let’s figure out how to prevent people from stealing the loaf in the first place.
Four Oakland police officers were shot and killed as a result of a traffic stop gone horribly wrong over the weekend. Two motorcycle officers pulled over some jackass for what the police chief termed a “routine traffic stop.” The suspect shot both officers and fled the scene. He was later found hiding at a local apartment complex where he killed two more officers before being killed in a shootout with the SWAT team. It’s another in a long line of fatally violent incidents to rock Oakland in the past couple months. Turns out the shooter had an extensive criminal history and was in violation of of his parole for assault with a deadly weapon. Obviously this guy should never have been on the street. I know there’s a budget crisis in California, but maybe the state needs to concentrate a little harder on keeping actual menaces to society away from the public.
Mount Redoubt in Alaska erupted six times on Monday, sending plumes of ash 9 miles into the sky. Note to Governor Jindal; this is why we monitor volcanoes.
The University of Notre Dame extended an invitation to President Obama to give the commencement speech at graduation this coming year. Apparently, that upsets some Catholics. Seems they don’t like the fact that the President is pro-choice. They are so upset that several bishops have promised to boycott the ceremony while others have founded a website (when did the ultimate expression of outrage become starting a website?) demanding the invitation be rescinded. I like Notre Dame. My wife is a graduate of Notre Dame Law School, several of my friends either work there or obtained graduate degrees from various departments, and 75% of the office I work at is comprised of ND grads. But I won’t pretend to get it. Several years back, the school extended the commencement invitation to then President Bush, architect of two wars in which tens - if not hundreds of thousands of real lives have been extinguished. The aforementioned groups did not protest that invitation. Why are the lives of the born less valuable than the lives of the unborn?
Finally, in a tragically bizarre story, FAA officials are investigating the crash of a single engine aircraft that crashed into a cemetery 500 ft. short of the airport runway in Butte, Montana, killing all 14 people on board. This is just creepy. Who builds an airport right next to a cemetery.
After seven days of hysterical “populist outrage” at all things AIG, it seems cooler heads will prevail in figuring out how to recoup unwarranted bonus money from employees of the company’s financial services division. Upon discovering early last week that AIG was using taxpayer bailout money to pay over $100 million bonuses to the very same geniuses who ran the company into the ground, both Congress and the media went into overdrive, each trying to prove they were more outraged than the other. At one point certain senators indicated executives should apologize to the public and either resign or commit suicide. The public roast of AIG made the automotive CEOs flying to Washington on private jets to beg for money look like girl scouts selling cookies. To hear the cable news talking heads tell the story one might be forgiven for thinking the Republic was about to grind to a halt. However, like most things in the nation’s capital, there was much more smoke here than fire. So, let’s get a few things straight.
First, there is a culture of excess on Wall Street that is difficult for most other people with jobs to understand. The very idea that someone should receive a multi-million dollar bonus for complete and utter failure is absolutely absurd. Unimaginable - everywhere but Wall Street. These jokers have an unlimited sense of entitlement. They believe it’s their world, and their money, and the rest of us just get in the way. And if you think a little hiccup like losing a trillion dollars on a bad gamble is going to change that attitude, you simply aren’t living in the real world.
Second, this idea being perpetrated by certain pundits that contracts are sacred and must be honored come hell or high water is ridiculous. Ask any United Auto Worker how untouchable a contract is. I’m sure they’ll be able to offer some enlightenment. The fact is that a contract is only a contract until the party with the most leverage decides that it isn't. When you receive a Citibank credit card, you agree to a contract that stipulated you will be granted the use of Citibank’s credit on the condition that you agree to repay the money you borrow on their schedule and on their terms. Citibank can - at any time - alter the terms of that contract, increasing the late payment fee, or adjusting the interest rate or changing the payment schedule. Once they do this, you have two choices. Sign the agreement accepting the new terms, or close the account and try to get credit somewhere else. Thanks to the incompetence of the very employees receiving bonuses for non-performance, the federal government now owns a controlling 80% interest in AIG. They hold all the leverage. The government is perfectly within its right to say to these idiots, we are not going to allow you to send the global economy into free-fall while you laugh all the way to whatever’s left of the bank.
Finally, we spent an entire week raging over $100 million in bonus money, when we should have been focusing on the hundreds of BILLIONS of dollars these vampires sucked out of the retirement savings of millions of people! I know that as Americans we love to pick out insignificant details and beat them to death in the news cycle while ignoring the big picture, but a little perspective on this matter wouldn’t hurt. Instead of wasting time trying to figure out how to recapture breadcrumbs, let’s figure out how to prevent people from stealing the loaf in the first place.
Four Oakland police officers were shot and killed as a result of a traffic stop gone horribly wrong over the weekend. Two motorcycle officers pulled over some jackass for what the police chief termed a “routine traffic stop.” The suspect shot both officers and fled the scene. He was later found hiding at a local apartment complex where he killed two more officers before being killed in a shootout with the SWAT team. It’s another in a long line of fatally violent incidents to rock Oakland in the past couple months. Turns out the shooter had an extensive criminal history and was in violation of of his parole for assault with a deadly weapon. Obviously this guy should never have been on the street. I know there’s a budget crisis in California, but maybe the state needs to concentrate a little harder on keeping actual menaces to society away from the public.
Mount Redoubt in Alaska erupted six times on Monday, sending plumes of ash 9 miles into the sky. Note to Governor Jindal; this is why we monitor volcanoes.
The University of Notre Dame extended an invitation to President Obama to give the commencement speech at graduation this coming year. Apparently, that upsets some Catholics. Seems they don’t like the fact that the President is pro-choice. They are so upset that several bishops have promised to boycott the ceremony while others have founded a website (when did the ultimate expression of outrage become starting a website?) demanding the invitation be rescinded. I like Notre Dame. My wife is a graduate of Notre Dame Law School, several of my friends either work there or obtained graduate degrees from various departments, and 75% of the office I work at is comprised of ND grads. But I won’t pretend to get it. Several years back, the school extended the commencement invitation to then President Bush, architect of two wars in which tens - if not hundreds of thousands of real lives have been extinguished. The aforementioned groups did not protest that invitation. Why are the lives of the born less valuable than the lives of the unborn?
Finally, in a tragically bizarre story, FAA officials are investigating the crash of a single engine aircraft that crashed into a cemetery 500 ft. short of the airport runway in Butte, Montana, killing all 14 people on board. This is just creepy. Who builds an airport right next to a cemetery.
3.17.2009
Scott Tennerman Must Die
I guess no slow week goes unpunished.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Remember, tomorrow is a work day.
AIG is in the news again, spending more federal bailout money to pay out bonuses to their “best and brightest” employees. You know, the same geniuses who lost the company hundreds of billions of dollars over the past six months. Let’s send some of these quality employees over to work for the Iranians and the North Koreans. We’ll have those SOBs begging for American occupation in six weeks.
In a related story;
Late last week some yahoo in Alabama decided life simply wasn’t worth living anymore. So, he proceeded to shoot and kill nine other people who probably enjoyed their own lives very much, before finally offing himself. At around the same time a 17-year-old German high school student tried to recreate Columbine and shot up his former high school, claiming the lives of 16 pupils, teachers and random people on the street, before committing suicide by cop. What the hell is wrong with these people? If you absolutely must murder someone, kill your own damn self first! Then move on to other people.
By the way, where are all the people who claim every time there’s a random act of violence that if only the State permitted ordinary citizens to carry concealed firearms, maybe one of them could have stopped the maniac? Oh, that’s right, everyone in Alabama does carry a weapon. Hmm. What went wrong there?
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford requested a waiver from the White House to use $700 million of the federal stimulus money allocated for education and job creation in his state to instead pay down state debt. Kicking off his 2012 campaign, Sanford likened the new administration’s policies to the hyper-inflationary policies of Zimbabwe, claiming that spending money on stupid little things like job creation, unemployment insurance and school infrastructure would only serve to run the country into the ground. Two things. Recent estimates (as it is impossible to pin down an actual figure) put Zimbabwe’s annual inflation rate at 89.7 SEXTILLION PERCENT! Prices there double every 24.7 hours. The annual inflation rate in the United States is about 0%. In fact, last quarter, prices actually decreased almost across the board. For Sanford to compare Obama’s policies to Mugabe’s policies means one of two things. Either Sanford is an idiot, or he is an idiot. Second, Mark Sanford, a hawkish conservative, has been Governor of South Carolina since 2002. If conservatism, with its panaceas of tax cuts and “fiscal responsibility” is so obvious a remedy for all that ails this country, why does the State of South Carolina face a 430 million dollar budget deficit, an even larger budget debt, the second largest unemployment rate in the nation at 10.4%, and one of the worst public school systems in America? That sound you hear? Crickets. Plenty of those in South Carolina.
Last Thursday night the running “feud” between Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and cable financial network CNBC reached a crescendo when CNBC anchor and host of “Mad Money” Jim Cramer took a seat across the table from Stewart in what was billed as an “intercontinental ballistic missive.” It all started a couple weeks ago with CNBC reporter Rick Santinelli’s on-air meltdown regarding the administration’s plan to stem the tide of home foreclosures. While unfazed by the staggering size and scope of government bailouts for financial firms, the comparatively small foreclosure prevention plan was too much for said reporter to take. Stewart booked Santinelli on his program later that week, only to have the appearance cancelled. That night on his show, Stewart reacted to Santinelli’s hypocritical hyperbole and cowardice by airing a montage of terrible CNBC financial advise broadcast over the past six months. Noticing he was featured in several of the clips, Cramer took exception to Stewart’s take and called him out in an interview on another network. Some back and forth followed, the rest of the media picked up on it and turned it into much more than it actually was - partially because Stewart was doing the job so many of them were either unable or unwilling to do. So, for 20 minutes on Thursday, Stewart grilled Cramer as to why he and his network allowed the financial industry to play Russian roulette with Americans’ retirement savings, turn the gun on all of us and walk away with the money. Cramer smiled, nodded and appeared contrite, never really challenging Stewart’s assertions. He couldn’t. There was nothing to say.
Some pundits - mostly morons - spent a lot of time defending CNBC and attacking Stewart, labeling him a liberal ideologue, suggesting perhaps he would start giving financial advice. Of course they failed to see the inherent fallacy in their criticism. Jon Stewart isn’t paid to give advice. He’s paid to tell jokes and write satire. One can debate how well he accomplishes that, but the most at stake if Stewart bombs a joke is a laugh. Jim Cramer is a financial professional. CNBC is a financial news network. They claim to be experts in their fields. Thousands - if not millions - of people make critical financial decisions based upon their research and “expert” advice. There’s a reason I don’t pull my own teeth, or remove my own appendix, or (if I made enough money) do my own taxes. I don’t know anything about dentistry, or surgery or taxes. So instead, I pay good money to have professionals (experts in their fields) take care of those things for me. Jim Cramer and CNBC are no different. They have set themselves up as experts, and should man up and take responsibility for the bad calls they made. The fact is, they knew (and if they didn’t, they should have) that Wall Street was gambling with our money and our future, and instead of making sure we all knew about it, they all went along for the ride, cheerleading our descent into the abyss we find ourselves today. The satirist got it right. CNBC deserves every expletive thrown at it.
RNC chairman Michael Steele stepped in it again last week as an interview he did for GQ Magazine hit news stands. The ever-eloquent Steele made some reference to what may be his personal belief that abortion should be a “personal choice.” In addition to his erroneous idea that he could speak openly and honestly about the de-facto leader of his party, and that he can spread conservatism to urban and suburban hip hop precincts, Steele has also deluded himself into believing he can also voice an independent thought every now and then. Well, Mike Huckabee and Tony Perkins and other more traditional Republican voices put that thought to bed pretty quickly. If Steele has any affinity for his job whatsoever, he’ll figure out how to the tow the line and he’ll figure it out fast.
Well, the wedding’s off. Bristol Palin and her fiance Levi have called off their engagement. She is now officially an unwed mother. Gotta admit, I called that one wrong. Thought for sure they’d be together forever. Two teenagers in love, with a baby on the way, how could that possibly not work out? Sorry. This probably amuses me more than it should. For additional detail on why this is funny, see the following.
http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2009/03/why-bristol-palin-is-different.html
Bernard Madoff plead guilty last Thursday to bilking investors out of hundreds of millions of dollars. How nice of him to spare the taxpayer the expense of a trial only to reach the same conclusion. Madoff will spend the next few weeks in jail awaiting sentencing and memorizing the number of the Cayman Island bank account he stashed his money in so he can still access it when he finally gets out of prison. Not content to wait for that day, the IRS has announced it will launch an effort to recover money Madoff failed to pay in taxes. They’ll need that money to repay all the people who payed taxes to the IRS on capital gains they never actually... gained.
Astronauts and cosmonauts aboard the International Space Station were forced to evacuate to the escape capsule when they were threatened by a thumb-sized piece of space junk. Yes, a thumb-sized piece of junk. This orbiting laboratory cost nearly 100 billion dollars, and it was almost destroyed by a piece of metal the size of somebody’s thumb? Anybody else see the problem with that?
The Justice Department has officially discontinued the use of the “enemy combatant” designation. Former Vice President Cheney claims this is the latest in a string of administration decisions designed to make America “less safe.” If only there was something we could give Cheney to make him less paranoid. Less delusional. Or maybe just less.
Chuck Norris -yes, that Chuck Norris - has decided he might be interested in being president of Texas. Now I know what you’re thinking. Texas is a state, right? So it has a governor, not a president. Ah, but Walker Texas Ranger has a different vision of the future. In Chuck’s own words, “(The need for me to run for president of Texas) may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.” He continues this blather for 17 paragraphs in a commentary for World Net Daily, regurgitating quotes from the Founding Fathers and using them to rationalize his irrational fear of and anger with an America that is no longer as white, as male, as Christian and as militaristic as he would like it to be. Sigh. At best, Chuck Norris seems to be openly advocating secession, and at worst, rebellion against the Union. We used to have a word for that.
By the way, I think we tired the whole secession/president of the confederacy thing already. How’d that work out for Texas?
I don’t know anything about Rhianna, and I have no idea who Chris Brown is. But after reading the police report detailing what this clown Chris Brown did to this woman in his car on the way to the Grammys, I don’t understand why he hasn’t been locked away with the key stitched into the back of his skull. Such a big man that Chris Brown, being a 90lb woman to a pulp in a moving vehicle. Way to keep it real Chris.
Somebody please get Glenn Beck a Xanax. Better yet, get him a prescription.
Finally, Miley Cyrus is upset with Radiohead. Apparently she asked her manager to get her backstage with the band at the Grammys. Disappointed that they turned down her request, Cyrus spent six minutes of a radio interview the following day conveying her disbelief that Radiohead “wouldn’t want to meet Hannah Montana!” She ended the session by saying she was going to “ruin them”, presumably by telling everyone how mean they were to her and her alter ego. The band released a statement saying that hopefully when she grows up she’ll outgrow the sense of entitlement. Miley obviously knows nothing about Radiohead or their fans. I can virtually guarantee fans would rather have lead singer Thom Yorke grind up Hannah Montana in a bowl of spicy chili and feed her to Disney network executives than spend time chatting with her backstage at an awards show.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Remember, tomorrow is a work day.
AIG is in the news again, spending more federal bailout money to pay out bonuses to their “best and brightest” employees. You know, the same geniuses who lost the company hundreds of billions of dollars over the past six months. Let’s send some of these quality employees over to work for the Iranians and the North Koreans. We’ll have those SOBs begging for American occupation in six weeks.
In a related story;
Late last week some yahoo in Alabama decided life simply wasn’t worth living anymore. So, he proceeded to shoot and kill nine other people who probably enjoyed their own lives very much, before finally offing himself. At around the same time a 17-year-old German high school student tried to recreate Columbine and shot up his former high school, claiming the lives of 16 pupils, teachers and random people on the street, before committing suicide by cop. What the hell is wrong with these people? If you absolutely must murder someone, kill your own damn self first! Then move on to other people.
By the way, where are all the people who claim every time there’s a random act of violence that if only the State permitted ordinary citizens to carry concealed firearms, maybe one of them could have stopped the maniac? Oh, that’s right, everyone in Alabama does carry a weapon. Hmm. What went wrong there?
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford requested a waiver from the White House to use $700 million of the federal stimulus money allocated for education and job creation in his state to instead pay down state debt. Kicking off his 2012 campaign, Sanford likened the new administration’s policies to the hyper-inflationary policies of Zimbabwe, claiming that spending money on stupid little things like job creation, unemployment insurance and school infrastructure would only serve to run the country into the ground. Two things. Recent estimates (as it is impossible to pin down an actual figure) put Zimbabwe’s annual inflation rate at 89.7 SEXTILLION PERCENT! Prices there double every 24.7 hours. The annual inflation rate in the United States is about 0%. In fact, last quarter, prices actually decreased almost across the board. For Sanford to compare Obama’s policies to Mugabe’s policies means one of two things. Either Sanford is an idiot, or he is an idiot. Second, Mark Sanford, a hawkish conservative, has been Governor of South Carolina since 2002. If conservatism, with its panaceas of tax cuts and “fiscal responsibility” is so obvious a remedy for all that ails this country, why does the State of South Carolina face a 430 million dollar budget deficit, an even larger budget debt, the second largest unemployment rate in the nation at 10.4%, and one of the worst public school systems in America? That sound you hear? Crickets. Plenty of those in South Carolina.
Last Thursday night the running “feud” between Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and cable financial network CNBC reached a crescendo when CNBC anchor and host of “Mad Money” Jim Cramer took a seat across the table from Stewart in what was billed as an “intercontinental ballistic missive.” It all started a couple weeks ago with CNBC reporter Rick Santinelli’s on-air meltdown regarding the administration’s plan to stem the tide of home foreclosures. While unfazed by the staggering size and scope of government bailouts for financial firms, the comparatively small foreclosure prevention plan was too much for said reporter to take. Stewart booked Santinelli on his program later that week, only to have the appearance cancelled. That night on his show, Stewart reacted to Santinelli’s hypocritical hyperbole and cowardice by airing a montage of terrible CNBC financial advise broadcast over the past six months. Noticing he was featured in several of the clips, Cramer took exception to Stewart’s take and called him out in an interview on another network. Some back and forth followed, the rest of the media picked up on it and turned it into much more than it actually was - partially because Stewart was doing the job so many of them were either unable or unwilling to do. So, for 20 minutes on Thursday, Stewart grilled Cramer as to why he and his network allowed the financial industry to play Russian roulette with Americans’ retirement savings, turn the gun on all of us and walk away with the money. Cramer smiled, nodded and appeared contrite, never really challenging Stewart’s assertions. He couldn’t. There was nothing to say.
Some pundits - mostly morons - spent a lot of time defending CNBC and attacking Stewart, labeling him a liberal ideologue, suggesting perhaps he would start giving financial advice. Of course they failed to see the inherent fallacy in their criticism. Jon Stewart isn’t paid to give advice. He’s paid to tell jokes and write satire. One can debate how well he accomplishes that, but the most at stake if Stewart bombs a joke is a laugh. Jim Cramer is a financial professional. CNBC is a financial news network. They claim to be experts in their fields. Thousands - if not millions - of people make critical financial decisions based upon their research and “expert” advice. There’s a reason I don’t pull my own teeth, or remove my own appendix, or (if I made enough money) do my own taxes. I don’t know anything about dentistry, or surgery or taxes. So instead, I pay good money to have professionals (experts in their fields) take care of those things for me. Jim Cramer and CNBC are no different. They have set themselves up as experts, and should man up and take responsibility for the bad calls they made. The fact is, they knew (and if they didn’t, they should have) that Wall Street was gambling with our money and our future, and instead of making sure we all knew about it, they all went along for the ride, cheerleading our descent into the abyss we find ourselves today. The satirist got it right. CNBC deserves every expletive thrown at it.
RNC chairman Michael Steele stepped in it again last week as an interview he did for GQ Magazine hit news stands. The ever-eloquent Steele made some reference to what may be his personal belief that abortion should be a “personal choice.” In addition to his erroneous idea that he could speak openly and honestly about the de-facto leader of his party, and that he can spread conservatism to urban and suburban hip hop precincts, Steele has also deluded himself into believing he can also voice an independent thought every now and then. Well, Mike Huckabee and Tony Perkins and other more traditional Republican voices put that thought to bed pretty quickly. If Steele has any affinity for his job whatsoever, he’ll figure out how to the tow the line and he’ll figure it out fast.
Well, the wedding’s off. Bristol Palin and her fiance Levi have called off their engagement. She is now officially an unwed mother. Gotta admit, I called that one wrong. Thought for sure they’d be together forever. Two teenagers in love, with a baby on the way, how could that possibly not work out? Sorry. This probably amuses me more than it should. For additional detail on why this is funny, see the following.
http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2009/03/why-bristol-palin-is-different.html
Bernard Madoff plead guilty last Thursday to bilking investors out of hundreds of millions of dollars. How nice of him to spare the taxpayer the expense of a trial only to reach the same conclusion. Madoff will spend the next few weeks in jail awaiting sentencing and memorizing the number of the Cayman Island bank account he stashed his money in so he can still access it when he finally gets out of prison. Not content to wait for that day, the IRS has announced it will launch an effort to recover money Madoff failed to pay in taxes. They’ll need that money to repay all the people who payed taxes to the IRS on capital gains they never actually... gained.
Astronauts and cosmonauts aboard the International Space Station were forced to evacuate to the escape capsule when they were threatened by a thumb-sized piece of space junk. Yes, a thumb-sized piece of junk. This orbiting laboratory cost nearly 100 billion dollars, and it was almost destroyed by a piece of metal the size of somebody’s thumb? Anybody else see the problem with that?
The Justice Department has officially discontinued the use of the “enemy combatant” designation. Former Vice President Cheney claims this is the latest in a string of administration decisions designed to make America “less safe.” If only there was something we could give Cheney to make him less paranoid. Less delusional. Or maybe just less.
Chuck Norris -yes, that Chuck Norris - has decided he might be interested in being president of Texas. Now I know what you’re thinking. Texas is a state, right? So it has a governor, not a president. Ah, but Walker Texas Ranger has a different vision of the future. In Chuck’s own words, “(The need for me to run for president of Texas) may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.” He continues this blather for 17 paragraphs in a commentary for World Net Daily, regurgitating quotes from the Founding Fathers and using them to rationalize his irrational fear of and anger with an America that is no longer as white, as male, as Christian and as militaristic as he would like it to be. Sigh. At best, Chuck Norris seems to be openly advocating secession, and at worst, rebellion against the Union. We used to have a word for that.
By the way, I think we tired the whole secession/president of the confederacy thing already. How’d that work out for Texas?
I don’t know anything about Rhianna, and I have no idea who Chris Brown is. But after reading the police report detailing what this clown Chris Brown did to this woman in his car on the way to the Grammys, I don’t understand why he hasn’t been locked away with the key stitched into the back of his skull. Such a big man that Chris Brown, being a 90lb woman to a pulp in a moving vehicle. Way to keep it real Chris.
Somebody please get Glenn Beck a Xanax. Better yet, get him a prescription.
Finally, Miley Cyrus is upset with Radiohead. Apparently she asked her manager to get her backstage with the band at the Grammys. Disappointed that they turned down her request, Cyrus spent six minutes of a radio interview the following day conveying her disbelief that Radiohead “wouldn’t want to meet Hannah Montana!” She ended the session by saying she was going to “ruin them”, presumably by telling everyone how mean they were to her and her alter ego. The band released a statement saying that hopefully when she grows up she’ll outgrow the sense of entitlement. Miley obviously knows nothing about Radiohead or their fans. I can virtually guarantee fans would rather have lead singer Thom Yorke grind up Hannah Montana in a bowl of spicy chili and feed her to Disney network executives than spend time chatting with her backstage at an awards show.
3.10.2009
Black is the New Black
Bit of a slow news week, so this will probably be pretty short. Of course I thought that last week too. Look how that turned out.
The CEO of Citigroup sent out a mass e-mail to all his employees Tuesday morning that the corporation turned a profit during the first two months of this year. Once that news hit the airways, Wall Street got nostalgic for the good old days of 2007 and boosted the domestic markets about 5%, and shares of the company 40% - to $1.45 a share. That’s right; a share in the second largest bank in the nation can be yours for the price of large fries at McDonald’s. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke hinted at upcoming regulations designed to prevent institutions like Citigroup and AIG from becoming “too big to fail.” Common sense has come to Washington, and its name is Ben.
Minnesota is the new Florida. Four months after Election Day, Minnesota still has only one U.S. Senator, and there is no end in sight. Republican Norm Coleman and Democrat Al Franken remain separated by 225 of over 3 million votes in a recount process that makes glacial retreat look expeditious. Have some rhubarb pie and count the votes people! How difficult can this possibly be?
The wife of newly sworn-in Zimbabwean Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai was killed in an automobile accident late last week that also injured the Prime Minister. Accident. Right. Whatever gets you through the day, Mugabe.
Pakistani lawyers are on the march again, protesting the failure of the current president to reinstate the chief justice of the Supreme Court dismissed by the previous president. Tension and increasing bitterness between the ruling party and the main opposition continue to threaten the stability of a weak government already overwhelmed by the global economic downturn and lawlessness along its northern border. I think we’ve seen this movie before. Let’s hope this one doesn’t end with any assassinations.
Early last week, American arch-nemesis Hugo Chavez expropriated (nationalized) the Venezuelan operations of U.S. food conglomerate Cargill, and threatened to do the same to various other industries. Suffering from the crash in oil prices, the Chavez government is suffering through a domestic political crisis with rising commodity prices, ballooning unemployment, rising discontent. Of course, instead of accepting responsibility, Chavez is blaming everyone he can point a finger at, from the United States, to the European Union to the people under the stairs for creating instability in his socialist dystopia. He’s like the Terrell Owens of world leaders, dropping the ball and blaming the quarterback, the lights, the turf and the ball for not magically sticking to his fingers.
Speaking of T.O., seems like Jerry Jones finally came to his senses. After insinuating a week ago that Owens would remain a key element of the team, the Dallas Cowboys owner surgically removed this cancer from his franchise and dumped him on the free agent market, where he was promptly scooped up and grafted onto the right flank of the struggling Buffalo Bills. As if there wasn’t enough to loathe about Buffalo. Why teams keep signing this character, I don’t know. If they simply want to flush $6.5 million down the toilet, I’m sure I can find a way to accomplish it without destroying the chemistry of the franchise in the process.
Apparently last week Tuesday was “square root day.” If you already knew that, get a life.
Flipping through the channels the other day I noticed something interesting. Black people are everywhere! Not only are African-Americans finding themselves in leading roles in films and scripted television shows, they are now marketing everything from cellular phones to cooking spray, to auto insurance to German cars to erectile dysfunction tablets with bathtubs in the middle cornfields. It’s phenomenal! It’s like Madison Avenue suddenly discovered that there is a whole… I don’t know… race, of people out there who eat the same food, drive the same cars, watch the same television, wear the same clothes and have the same concerns as everybody else in America. Seriously, when black people are modeling for the Gap and Abercrombie & Fitch, a breakthrough has been made somewhere. Hmm. I wonder what brought that on?
Finally, Barbie turned 50-years-old yesterday. She still looks pretty good for her age. Since the original (based on a German prostitute doll) debuted in 1959, Mattel has sold more than a billion dolls worldwide, saddling little girls everywhere with the desire to support shameless commercialism (“Let’s go shopping!”), gender stereotypes, (“Math is hard!”), and unattainable physical dimensions. Happy birthday Barbie! Hope you didn’t purchase the Malibu beach house with a sub-prime loan.
The CEO of Citigroup sent out a mass e-mail to all his employees Tuesday morning that the corporation turned a profit during the first two months of this year. Once that news hit the airways, Wall Street got nostalgic for the good old days of 2007 and boosted the domestic markets about 5%, and shares of the company 40% - to $1.45 a share. That’s right; a share in the second largest bank in the nation can be yours for the price of large fries at McDonald’s. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke hinted at upcoming regulations designed to prevent institutions like Citigroup and AIG from becoming “too big to fail.” Common sense has come to Washington, and its name is Ben.
Minnesota is the new Florida. Four months after Election Day, Minnesota still has only one U.S. Senator, and there is no end in sight. Republican Norm Coleman and Democrat Al Franken remain separated by 225 of over 3 million votes in a recount process that makes glacial retreat look expeditious. Have some rhubarb pie and count the votes people! How difficult can this possibly be?
The wife of newly sworn-in Zimbabwean Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai was killed in an automobile accident late last week that also injured the Prime Minister. Accident. Right. Whatever gets you through the day, Mugabe.
Pakistani lawyers are on the march again, protesting the failure of the current president to reinstate the chief justice of the Supreme Court dismissed by the previous president. Tension and increasing bitterness between the ruling party and the main opposition continue to threaten the stability of a weak government already overwhelmed by the global economic downturn and lawlessness along its northern border. I think we’ve seen this movie before. Let’s hope this one doesn’t end with any assassinations.
Early last week, American arch-nemesis Hugo Chavez expropriated (nationalized) the Venezuelan operations of U.S. food conglomerate Cargill, and threatened to do the same to various other industries. Suffering from the crash in oil prices, the Chavez government is suffering through a domestic political crisis with rising commodity prices, ballooning unemployment, rising discontent. Of course, instead of accepting responsibility, Chavez is blaming everyone he can point a finger at, from the United States, to the European Union to the people under the stairs for creating instability in his socialist dystopia. He’s like the Terrell Owens of world leaders, dropping the ball and blaming the quarterback, the lights, the turf and the ball for not magically sticking to his fingers.
Speaking of T.O., seems like Jerry Jones finally came to his senses. After insinuating a week ago that Owens would remain a key element of the team, the Dallas Cowboys owner surgically removed this cancer from his franchise and dumped him on the free agent market, where he was promptly scooped up and grafted onto the right flank of the struggling Buffalo Bills. As if there wasn’t enough to loathe about Buffalo. Why teams keep signing this character, I don’t know. If they simply want to flush $6.5 million down the toilet, I’m sure I can find a way to accomplish it without destroying the chemistry of the franchise in the process.
Apparently last week Tuesday was “square root day.” If you already knew that, get a life.
Flipping through the channels the other day I noticed something interesting. Black people are everywhere! Not only are African-Americans finding themselves in leading roles in films and scripted television shows, they are now marketing everything from cellular phones to cooking spray, to auto insurance to German cars to erectile dysfunction tablets with bathtubs in the middle cornfields. It’s phenomenal! It’s like Madison Avenue suddenly discovered that there is a whole… I don’t know… race, of people out there who eat the same food, drive the same cars, watch the same television, wear the same clothes and have the same concerns as everybody else in America. Seriously, when black people are modeling for the Gap and Abercrombie & Fitch, a breakthrough has been made somewhere. Hmm. I wonder what brought that on?
Finally, Barbie turned 50-years-old yesterday. She still looks pretty good for her age. Since the original (based on a German prostitute doll) debuted in 1959, Mattel has sold more than a billion dolls worldwide, saddling little girls everywhere with the desire to support shameless commercialism (“Let’s go shopping!”), gender stereotypes, (“Math is hard!”), and unattainable physical dimensions. Happy birthday Barbie! Hope you didn’t purchase the Malibu beach house with a sub-prime loan.
3.03.2009
...The Rest of the Story
Over the weekend we lost one of the great voices in American radio. The legendary Paul Harvey died on Saturday at the age of 91. Rest in peace Paul.
Congratulations. In addition to our 36% stake in Citigroup, we the taxpayer are now 80% shareholders in the steaming pile of doo doo that used to be AIG. This might actually have been fun a year ago when AIG shares were trading at $70 each. Now that they’re hovering around 40 cents, ownership is somewhat less appealing. I understand how enormous this company is (over a trillion dollars in assets worldwide) and the absolute disaster that would befall the world markets should it fail, but to borrow an analogy I heard earlier today, if the pipe is leaking, you can’t fix it by pumping more water through it. Yes, increasing the pressure (flooding it with capital) will ensure that SOME water still makes it to the faucet on the other end, but at some point, you have to REPAIR the pipe. This afternoon AIG posted a $62 billion quarterly loss. That’s $689 million a day over the past 90 days. And they will continue to lose that kind of money until the underlying cause of that loss is removed from the books. The company “invested” heavily in creative financial instruments like credit default swaps, which are essentially insurance policies on sub-prime loans – real and imagined, purchased with leveraged capital. So, every time someone defaults on their loan, AIG pays out obscene amounts of money that it never had in the first place to cover the payout on the insurance policy. Despite all the talk of the creation of a “bad bank” to absorb all these so-called “toxic assets” and remove them from the balance sheets of the investments banks, the government has been hesitant to do so because they are afraid of over-paying for assets for which no one can seem to assign a value to. But they are simply delaying the inevitable, and flushing money down a leaky pipe in the process. As long as the assets remain on the books, the hemorrhaging will continue. Fix the pipe. Set a price and buy the assets so the banks and insurance companies can start over with healthy balance sheets, and make sure this is never allowed to happen again.
President Obama addressed the Nation from the floor of the House of Representatives last Tuesday night in a not-quite-State of the Union speech in which he tried to be all thing to all people. Indications are that he succeeded. People seemed to think he was realistic, yet optimistic. Enthusiastic, yet reserved. Professorial, yet inspirational. A little bit country, a little bit rock-n-roll. All of which set the stage for the much anticipated Republican response, delivered by “rising GOP star”, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. How would would-be President Jindal respond to Obama’s oratory? Um… not so well. Jindal more closely resembled an animatronic Mr. Rogers than a serious conservative leader, relating partially fabricated stories about cutting through government bureaucracy, ridiculing wasteful government spending that might not be so wasteful after all, perpetuating false claims about his state’s recovery from Hurricane Katrina without Federal Government help, and insisting that all would be right with the world if we only gave everyone a tax cut. I know it’s early – way too early to be talking about another election, but if this is the best the Republican Party can do, it’s going to be a long 8 years (at least) for them.
On the heels of the Tuesday night speech, Obama release his first budget blueprint, outlining what he hopes to accomplish over the next four years. It calls for $3.6 trillion in spending this coming year, with a total federal deficit of 1.75 trillion. In many ways it is a more accurate budget than any during the past several decades in that it includes funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and leaves out revenue from the Alternative Minimum Tax, which Congress always patches and never actually collects. There are increases for defense, and education, a tax cut for all families earning less than $250,000 per year, and sets aside $600 billion for healthcare reform, which is a far more serious look at the healthcare system than anyone has taken I recent memory. The biggest battle is Congress is sure to be over the coming tax increase on the top income bracket in 2011. Obama wants to allow the Bush tax cuts to expire, while Republicans want them to continue. However, passage of the Federal Budget does not require a 60-vote Senate majority, and is therefore not subject to a filibuster. So, the chances of Republicans throwing a hissy-fit and getting their way on that issue are virtually non-existent.
Note to House Minority Whip Eric Cantor; you sir are no Newt Gingrich. And his name is Newt for crying out loud.
Congressman Bobby Rush needs to get as far away from television cameras as humanly possible. A product of the Civil Rights era, Rush sees himself as defender of all things Afro-American, whether or not those things are defensible. His cause du-jour is one Illinois Senator Roland Burris, who stands accused of impropriety in obtaining his Senate seat from now disgraced Illinois Governor Blagojevich. Burris recently admitted to being asked to and attempting to raise money for Blago’s re-election while under consideration for President Obama’s vacated seat. Burris defended himself by claiming that because he was unsuccessful at raising money, his incompetence absolves him of any wrong-doing. Bobby Rush agrees, adding in a not-so-veiled reference to Ted Kennedy, something to the effect of, “it’s not like someone drove off a bridge… no one died.” Note to Congressman Rush; pointing to one person’s poor behavior to justify someone else’s unethical behavior only serves to damage your own credibility. Defending the indefensible because it was perpetrated by a member of your own race makes you look foolish and disinclines people to take you seriously. Ask Al Sharpton.
Could someone please lock Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann in her closet, before she hurts herself? Seriously, it’s for her own good. During the Presidential campaign she suggested that members of Congress be questioned regarding their allegiance to the United State, a la Joseph McCarthy. In a talk radio interview last week following the pseudo State of the Union address she complained that due to taxation, America is, “running out of rich people.” (I’m not sure what Soviet nightmare Bachmann is living in, but the number of millionaires in the United States as of 2007 had grown to about 3.2 million, up from about 2.4 million in 2004.) Her latest foot-in-mouth moment came at the Conservative Political Action Conference over the weekend when she told newly elected RNC Chairman Michael Steele that he, “…be da man!” To be fair, Steele has set himself up for such stupidity by talking about bringing conservatism into “urban, suburban hip hop setting.” But Bachmann should be embarrassed to make such a fool of herself in front of so many people. The fact that she isn’t embarrassed should tell us something about Michelle Bachmann.
Speaking of Michael Steele, apparently he didn’t get the memo. Steele is under the impression that just because he was elected leader of the Republican Party, that he is indeed leader of the Republican Party. The actual leader of the Republican Party and the self-proclaimed standard-bearer of conservatism Rush Limbaugh felt the need to slap him down a few notches this past weekend. Limbaugh has been on quite a tear lately, attacking everyone from David Brooks, to Bill Kristol to Charles Krauthammer to (insert conservative pundit here) for not labeling Obama the anti-Christ. In one Sunday interview, Steele had the audacity to refer to Rush as an entertainer who sometimes engaged in ugly rhetoric. Naturally averse to the truth, Limbaugh fired back at Steele, accusing him of secretly supporting the President and the House and Senate leadership, and wanting to turn the party over to the Democrats. I actually feel a little sorry for Michael Steele. I’m not sure he fully understood what he was up against in trying to revamp the image of the GOP. Conservatives are fundamentally averse to change. It’s right there in the name, conservative. Antonym of progressive. Good luck with that urban suburban hip hop conservatism. Keep an eye on the apology clock. UPDATE: Michael Steele has come to his senses and apologized to his overlord and savior Rush Limbaugh, begging forgiveness for his insubordination. Steele now says of his relationship with Limbaugh, after last night’s heart to heart, that “We are all good.” And so they lived happily ever after. Elapsed time; 48 hours.
For his part, Limbaugh is engaging in the same behavior for which he has lambasted liberals for at least the past eight years. His hatred of Obama and of progressives and of liberalism has lead him to openly rout for four more years of economic, political and social disaster to ensure the survival of himself and the Republican Party. He would rather see America collapse into a third world country than to accept the idea that there might be some measure of validity to an approach different from his. Congratulations Rush. You are what you despise.
The State of Georgia is considering allowing counties to decide whether or not they will allow the sale of alcohol on Sundays. For some reason this is causing consternation among people in Georgia who don’t seem to see the absurdity of the current system. I am not drinker. I can count the number of alcoholic beverages I’ve consumed in my lifetime on one hand. But I cannot for the life of me understand why it is that in some states, one can legally purchase an adult beverage Monday thru Saturday, yet not on Sunday? Is the liquor toxic on Sunday? Why is it acceptable for someone to drive to a bar, consume liquor, then drive home intoxicated, but unacceptable to drive to the store sober, take the liquor home and drink it there?
Actress and smokin’ hot babe Megan Fox called off her engagement to now ex-boyfriend Brian Austin Green. That’s right fellas, there’s still hope. Lock up your Cape Buffaloes and hide Olivia Wilde.
Have I mentioned that I hate Tom Brady? If not, here it is; I hate Tom Brady. The 31-year-old three-time Superbowl-winning quarterback commercial pitchman and Internet porn connoisseur married long-time girlfriend and Brazilian supermodel Giselle Bundchen last Thursday in a small private ceremony attended by, among other family members, her three dogs. First, who gets married on a Thursday? How lame is that? But I guess when you’re Tom Brady you can get away with that crap. Second… you know what, never mind. There is no second. At least I don’t have to hear about him fixing peoples flat tires at midnight on the side of the road or taking homeless guys to the movies.
Several weeks ago a story appeared in the New York Times about the lifestyle changes CEOs would have to make to conform to the new salary limits imposed on recipients of government bailout funds. Such “sacrifices” included cutting back to a single nanny, reducing trips to swanky Manhattan restaurants and canceling the week in Hawaii with the mistress. This week the Times printed another story explaining how smaller bonuses due to the financial crisis mean fewer upscale New Yorkers can afford to send their four-year-olds to $22K per year kindergarten. I remain undecided as to whether these stories are intended to be serious or satirical. It’s difficult to take anything printed in the Style section of the Times seriously, but I assume the writers intends the readers to do just that. If the purpose of these articles is to engender some sort of empathy for parents who spend (in this case) upwards of $66,000 “educating” a toddler, they fail miserably. No one living anywhere but the Upper East Side reads about the “plight” of these people without laughing so hard they shoot milk out of their noses. Want to save a little money? Try parenting. It’s cheaper. It’s articles like these that help the New York Times retain its snooty East Coast liberal elitist reputation.
Finally, a new topless coffee shop has opened for business in Vassalboro, Maine. Word is it’s just like any other coffee shop, except that the servers are topless. Why on earth did I not think of this? What goes better with coffee than bare breasts? To be fair and non-discriminatory, the cafe employs both topless men and women. Business is fairly brisk, yet still hampered by the cold, snowy New England winter. I’m sure sales will “perk up” once the temperature rises.
Congratulations. In addition to our 36% stake in Citigroup, we the taxpayer are now 80% shareholders in the steaming pile of doo doo that used to be AIG. This might actually have been fun a year ago when AIG shares were trading at $70 each. Now that they’re hovering around 40 cents, ownership is somewhat less appealing. I understand how enormous this company is (over a trillion dollars in assets worldwide) and the absolute disaster that would befall the world markets should it fail, but to borrow an analogy I heard earlier today, if the pipe is leaking, you can’t fix it by pumping more water through it. Yes, increasing the pressure (flooding it with capital) will ensure that SOME water still makes it to the faucet on the other end, but at some point, you have to REPAIR the pipe. This afternoon AIG posted a $62 billion quarterly loss. That’s $689 million a day over the past 90 days. And they will continue to lose that kind of money until the underlying cause of that loss is removed from the books. The company “invested” heavily in creative financial instruments like credit default swaps, which are essentially insurance policies on sub-prime loans – real and imagined, purchased with leveraged capital. So, every time someone defaults on their loan, AIG pays out obscene amounts of money that it never had in the first place to cover the payout on the insurance policy. Despite all the talk of the creation of a “bad bank” to absorb all these so-called “toxic assets” and remove them from the balance sheets of the investments banks, the government has been hesitant to do so because they are afraid of over-paying for assets for which no one can seem to assign a value to. But they are simply delaying the inevitable, and flushing money down a leaky pipe in the process. As long as the assets remain on the books, the hemorrhaging will continue. Fix the pipe. Set a price and buy the assets so the banks and insurance companies can start over with healthy balance sheets, and make sure this is never allowed to happen again.
President Obama addressed the Nation from the floor of the House of Representatives last Tuesday night in a not-quite-State of the Union speech in which he tried to be all thing to all people. Indications are that he succeeded. People seemed to think he was realistic, yet optimistic. Enthusiastic, yet reserved. Professorial, yet inspirational. A little bit country, a little bit rock-n-roll. All of which set the stage for the much anticipated Republican response, delivered by “rising GOP star”, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. How would would-be President Jindal respond to Obama’s oratory? Um… not so well. Jindal more closely resembled an animatronic Mr. Rogers than a serious conservative leader, relating partially fabricated stories about cutting through government bureaucracy, ridiculing wasteful government spending that might not be so wasteful after all, perpetuating false claims about his state’s recovery from Hurricane Katrina without Federal Government help, and insisting that all would be right with the world if we only gave everyone a tax cut. I know it’s early – way too early to be talking about another election, but if this is the best the Republican Party can do, it’s going to be a long 8 years (at least) for them.
On the heels of the Tuesday night speech, Obama release his first budget blueprint, outlining what he hopes to accomplish over the next four years. It calls for $3.6 trillion in spending this coming year, with a total federal deficit of 1.75 trillion. In many ways it is a more accurate budget than any during the past several decades in that it includes funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and leaves out revenue from the Alternative Minimum Tax, which Congress always patches and never actually collects. There are increases for defense, and education, a tax cut for all families earning less than $250,000 per year, and sets aside $600 billion for healthcare reform, which is a far more serious look at the healthcare system than anyone has taken I recent memory. The biggest battle is Congress is sure to be over the coming tax increase on the top income bracket in 2011. Obama wants to allow the Bush tax cuts to expire, while Republicans want them to continue. However, passage of the Federal Budget does not require a 60-vote Senate majority, and is therefore not subject to a filibuster. So, the chances of Republicans throwing a hissy-fit and getting their way on that issue are virtually non-existent.
Note to House Minority Whip Eric Cantor; you sir are no Newt Gingrich. And his name is Newt for crying out loud.
Congressman Bobby Rush needs to get as far away from television cameras as humanly possible. A product of the Civil Rights era, Rush sees himself as defender of all things Afro-American, whether or not those things are defensible. His cause du-jour is one Illinois Senator Roland Burris, who stands accused of impropriety in obtaining his Senate seat from now disgraced Illinois Governor Blagojevich. Burris recently admitted to being asked to and attempting to raise money for Blago’s re-election while under consideration for President Obama’s vacated seat. Burris defended himself by claiming that because he was unsuccessful at raising money, his incompetence absolves him of any wrong-doing. Bobby Rush agrees, adding in a not-so-veiled reference to Ted Kennedy, something to the effect of, “it’s not like someone drove off a bridge… no one died.” Note to Congressman Rush; pointing to one person’s poor behavior to justify someone else’s unethical behavior only serves to damage your own credibility. Defending the indefensible because it was perpetrated by a member of your own race makes you look foolish and disinclines people to take you seriously. Ask Al Sharpton.
Could someone please lock Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann in her closet, before she hurts herself? Seriously, it’s for her own good. During the Presidential campaign she suggested that members of Congress be questioned regarding their allegiance to the United State, a la Joseph McCarthy. In a talk radio interview last week following the pseudo State of the Union address she complained that due to taxation, America is, “running out of rich people.” (I’m not sure what Soviet nightmare Bachmann is living in, but the number of millionaires in the United States as of 2007 had grown to about 3.2 million, up from about 2.4 million in 2004.) Her latest foot-in-mouth moment came at the Conservative Political Action Conference over the weekend when she told newly elected RNC Chairman Michael Steele that he, “…be da man!” To be fair, Steele has set himself up for such stupidity by talking about bringing conservatism into “urban, suburban hip hop setting.” But Bachmann should be embarrassed to make such a fool of herself in front of so many people. The fact that she isn’t embarrassed should tell us something about Michelle Bachmann.
Speaking of Michael Steele, apparently he didn’t get the memo. Steele is under the impression that just because he was elected leader of the Republican Party, that he is indeed leader of the Republican Party. The actual leader of the Republican Party and the self-proclaimed standard-bearer of conservatism Rush Limbaugh felt the need to slap him down a few notches this past weekend. Limbaugh has been on quite a tear lately, attacking everyone from David Brooks, to Bill Kristol to Charles Krauthammer to (insert conservative pundit here) for not labeling Obama the anti-Christ. In one Sunday interview, Steele had the audacity to refer to Rush as an entertainer who sometimes engaged in ugly rhetoric. Naturally averse to the truth, Limbaugh fired back at Steele, accusing him of secretly supporting the President and the House and Senate leadership, and wanting to turn the party over to the Democrats. I actually feel a little sorry for Michael Steele. I’m not sure he fully understood what he was up against in trying to revamp the image of the GOP. Conservatives are fundamentally averse to change. It’s right there in the name, conservative. Antonym of progressive. Good luck with that urban suburban hip hop conservatism. Keep an eye on the apology clock. UPDATE: Michael Steele has come to his senses and apologized to his overlord and savior Rush Limbaugh, begging forgiveness for his insubordination. Steele now says of his relationship with Limbaugh, after last night’s heart to heart, that “We are all good.” And so they lived happily ever after. Elapsed time; 48 hours.
For his part, Limbaugh is engaging in the same behavior for which he has lambasted liberals for at least the past eight years. His hatred of Obama and of progressives and of liberalism has lead him to openly rout for four more years of economic, political and social disaster to ensure the survival of himself and the Republican Party. He would rather see America collapse into a third world country than to accept the idea that there might be some measure of validity to an approach different from his. Congratulations Rush. You are what you despise.
The State of Georgia is considering allowing counties to decide whether or not they will allow the sale of alcohol on Sundays. For some reason this is causing consternation among people in Georgia who don’t seem to see the absurdity of the current system. I am not drinker. I can count the number of alcoholic beverages I’ve consumed in my lifetime on one hand. But I cannot for the life of me understand why it is that in some states, one can legally purchase an adult beverage Monday thru Saturday, yet not on Sunday? Is the liquor toxic on Sunday? Why is it acceptable for someone to drive to a bar, consume liquor, then drive home intoxicated, but unacceptable to drive to the store sober, take the liquor home and drink it there?
Actress and smokin’ hot babe Megan Fox called off her engagement to now ex-boyfriend Brian Austin Green. That’s right fellas, there’s still hope. Lock up your Cape Buffaloes and hide Olivia Wilde.
Have I mentioned that I hate Tom Brady? If not, here it is; I hate Tom Brady. The 31-year-old three-time Superbowl-winning quarterback commercial pitchman and Internet porn connoisseur married long-time girlfriend and Brazilian supermodel Giselle Bundchen last Thursday in a small private ceremony attended by, among other family members, her three dogs. First, who gets married on a Thursday? How lame is that? But I guess when you’re Tom Brady you can get away with that crap. Second… you know what, never mind. There is no second. At least I don’t have to hear about him fixing peoples flat tires at midnight on the side of the road or taking homeless guys to the movies.
Several weeks ago a story appeared in the New York Times about the lifestyle changes CEOs would have to make to conform to the new salary limits imposed on recipients of government bailout funds. Such “sacrifices” included cutting back to a single nanny, reducing trips to swanky Manhattan restaurants and canceling the week in Hawaii with the mistress. This week the Times printed another story explaining how smaller bonuses due to the financial crisis mean fewer upscale New Yorkers can afford to send their four-year-olds to $22K per year kindergarten. I remain undecided as to whether these stories are intended to be serious or satirical. It’s difficult to take anything printed in the Style section of the Times seriously, but I assume the writers intends the readers to do just that. If the purpose of these articles is to engender some sort of empathy for parents who spend (in this case) upwards of $66,000 “educating” a toddler, they fail miserably. No one living anywhere but the Upper East Side reads about the “plight” of these people without laughing so hard they shoot milk out of their noses. Want to save a little money? Try parenting. It’s cheaper. It’s articles like these that help the New York Times retain its snooty East Coast liberal elitist reputation.
Finally, a new topless coffee shop has opened for business in Vassalboro, Maine. Word is it’s just like any other coffee shop, except that the servers are topless. Why on earth did I not think of this? What goes better with coffee than bare breasts? To be fair and non-discriminatory, the cafe employs both topless men and women. Business is fairly brisk, yet still hampered by the cold, snowy New England winter. I’m sure sales will “perk up” once the temperature rises.
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