Haven’t been feeling well for the past few days. But, the news - and in some cases non-news - waits for no one. So we soldier on.
Next Tuesday marks the passing of the previously irrelevant North Carolina and Indiana Democratic primaries. Yes, here we go again. Current polling indicates a fairly big lead for Obama in “basketball (and tobacco) central,” and a statistical tie in the “crossroads of America.” For better of for worse, I happen to live at said crossroads. You know, the place people come to when they’re trying to get somewhere else. For the past several weeks we have been inundated with campaign commercials and paraphernalia from both candidates. On one hand, it’s interesting to be courted for one’s vote. But at this point in the process, is there anyone who truly does not know which candidate they support? I know that in every poll about ten percent of voters claim to be undecided, but I simply don’t believe them. They’ve had a year to decide. If they haven’t chosen by now they are simply incapable of making decisions. The truth is that people who claim to be undecided in the waning moments of an election simply enjoy the attention. Candidates don’t have time to waste with people who have their minds made up. Reporters and pollsters want to interview people on the fence to see what would influence their vote. Late undecided voters are attention junkies, and should be treated as such.
By the way, is there anything less environmentally friendly than an election campaign? I have what must have been at one time a little spruce forest littering my dining room table. There must be a more eco-friendly way to let people know that you want the job.
Reverend Jeremiah Wright is in the news again. Feeling he has been unfairly attacked in recent weeks, Wright offered a spirited defense of his sermons and political views at National Press Club and NAACP events in Washington, and in an interview with Bill Moyers for his PBS television program. The problem with Wright is that every time he pops up, Barack Obama takes a hit. One might assume that after Obama’s repeated expressions of denunciation of Wright’s words and tactics, additional statements from the retired minister wouldn’t garner this level of media attention. But that might be expecting too much. Jeremiah Wright is the quintessential angry black man. And America loves the spectacle of the angry black man. They love to catch one on video and replay it over and over again, pointing out how angry he sounds and wondering what makes him so angry. Then they find two not-so-angry black men, one to explain angry black man’s rage and the other to denounce it, and a non-black “expert” on whatever the subject is to explain to the country why the whole thing is or is not relevant. Then everyone goes about their business until the next angry black man shows up. the difference in this case is the the angry black man reared his head in the middle of a presidential primary campaign, and he refuses to go away. So, despite the fact that Wright has no political power and is of no particular consequence whatsoever, he remains in the news, contaminating a viable presidential candidate in the eyes of those who believe that every black man is an angry black man is disguise.
According to several news reports, at least half of the teenaged girls (ages 14-17) removed from the FLDS compound in Texas a few weeks ago either have been or are currently pregnant. I don’t know what to make of this story. Many strange things are done in the name of religion. But it seems that at some point, the state must step in to ensure its laws are not violated. Rastafarians are not allowed to roam the streets smoking marijuana because their religion believes smoking brings them closer to Jah. Members of the FLDS probably shouldn’t be allowed to disregard the law by engaging in plural marriage and impregnating minors. Call me crazy, but it just seems like bad policy.
This past friday, three New York City police officers were acquitted of any wrong-doing in the shooting death of an unarmed man on the morning of his wedding day. Sean Bell was wrapping up a night of celebration at a night club in Queens with several friends when he was killed in a hail of 50 bullets fired by five officers. This isn’t the first time an unarmed man has been killed by police in New York City. That sort of thing happens all the time. What bothers me is the ratio of shots fired to legal responsibility. One officer fired 31 shots. His gun only holds 17 bullets. That means that he first emptied his clip, then reloaded his weapon and nearly emptied it again. It seems as though somewhere in that time period, someone should have eased up on the trigger and assessed the situation. The officers may not be guilty of murder or manslaughter, but they are at least guilty of some measure of poor judgement.
Miley Cyrus made the news again this week. The teen star of Disney’s Hannah Montana is at the center of a “scandal” regarding a recent series of photos - one in particular taken by renowned celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz. The shot in question features a bare-backed Cyrus in harsh lighting and gaudy make-up, covering her naughty bits with a sheet. Word of the photo leaked out last week and created an internet controversy when her 10-year-old fans and their mothers began to question the image Cyrus was attempting to put forth. Miley issued a statement saying she was “embarrassed” by the images and both her parents and the Disney Channel blame Leibovitz for manipulating a young girl in order to sell magazines. Leibovitz maintains that she discussed the pictures with the teen star, her parents and her handlers on set, showed them the digital image and believed everyone was okay with the shots. Fortunately, we no longer have to be confused. Here is what actually happened. Miley Cyrus is a 15-year-old girl. Every teenaged girl believes she is simply a short adult, and wants to look and feel older than she is. She wants to show everyone that she’s grown up and should be taken seriously. Leibovitz is known for taking sexy photographs of celebrities. When Cyrus saw the bare-backed photo she thought it made her look sexy and didn’t think more of it than that. But it’s very easy for a teen star to forget that the majority of her fans are much younger than she is, and the parents of those fans do not want their daughters growing up too soon. Cyrus underestimated the negative reaction of that constituency. But once she realized there was a problem threatening the empire she quickly issued a mea culpa and got her parents to blame it on someone else. The real weasel here is Disney and their fake outrage. For them to issue a statement condemning Leibovitz for “manipulating a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines” is ridiculous - bordering on offensive. Disney has mastered the art of exploiting teen girl in order to sell merchandise. Do the names Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan and Hilary & Haylie Duff ring a bell? In fact, Disney’s become so adept at turning teen girls into sex-pot cash machines that other media outlets, like Nickelodeon, took notice and began to replicate their success. If these pictures had been taken a year later they would have ended up on the cover of her new album. If Disney needs someone to accuse of manipulating teenagers for profit, they need look no further than the mirror.
4.30.2008
4.25.2008
The Elephant in the Room
It's been several days since Super-Duper-for-the-Seventeenth-Time-Tuesday, and something has been bothering me since. One exit poll in particular stuck out like gangsta rapper at a klan rally. Among poor, and lower middle-class, undereducated white voters in Pennsylvania, Hillary took in excess of six in ten votes. Of those voters, between 20% and 30% indicated that race was a major factor in their decision to vote for Clinton.
Several weeks ago, Geraldine Ferraro made the statement that the only reason that Barack Obama has made it as far as he has is because he his black. Geraldine Ferraro is an idiot. If she truly believes that it is some sort of advantage to be a black man running for public office in the United States of America she is at best, not paying attention, and at worst, not telling the truth. Are there people in this country who are casting their votes for Obama because they believe an Obama presidency will make an undeniable statement of America's progress against it's most vexing perpetual problem? I'm sure there are. But Pennsylvania showed us that there simply are not enough of those people to cancel out the amount of voters who refuse to vote for him because he is not white.
More troubling is the amount of influence those voters have over the political process. Clinton's pitch to the remaining uncommitted super delegates is that they should overturn the results of the primary process and give her the nomination because she can get democratic votes that Obama has no chance of capturing. In other words, the ignorant poor white racist vote is essential to winning the presidency, and she is the candidate of the ignorant poor white racist.
Isn't that nice. When did the inmates gain control of the asylum? Why is it that a contest between two qualified, ivy league-educated candidates, the election can be decided by individuals with the mental maturity of neanderthals. Either way this primary turns out, this protracted campaign has done/is doing what may be irreparable damage to the democratic party. The current president is the proud owner of some of the lowest approval ratings in the history of approval ratings, and the Republican Party nominee can't raise any money from his own party faithful. In this election season the Democrats should be able to run a donkey in pants against their opponents and defeat them. But all this campaign garbage is opening the window wide enough to march an elephant through it.
Several weeks ago, Geraldine Ferraro made the statement that the only reason that Barack Obama has made it as far as he has is because he his black. Geraldine Ferraro is an idiot. If she truly believes that it is some sort of advantage to be a black man running for public office in the United States of America she is at best, not paying attention, and at worst, not telling the truth. Are there people in this country who are casting their votes for Obama because they believe an Obama presidency will make an undeniable statement of America's progress against it's most vexing perpetual problem? I'm sure there are. But Pennsylvania showed us that there simply are not enough of those people to cancel out the amount of voters who refuse to vote for him because he is not white.
More troubling is the amount of influence those voters have over the political process. Clinton's pitch to the remaining uncommitted super delegates is that they should overturn the results of the primary process and give her the nomination because she can get democratic votes that Obama has no chance of capturing. In other words, the ignorant poor white racist vote is essential to winning the presidency, and she is the candidate of the ignorant poor white racist.
Isn't that nice. When did the inmates gain control of the asylum? Why is it that a contest between two qualified, ivy league-educated candidates, the election can be decided by individuals with the mental maturity of neanderthals. Either way this primary turns out, this protracted campaign has done/is doing what may be irreparable damage to the democratic party. The current president is the proud owner of some of the lowest approval ratings in the history of approval ratings, and the Republican Party nominee can't raise any money from his own party faithful. In this election season the Democrats should be able to run a donkey in pants against their opponents and defeat them. But all this campaign garbage is opening the window wide enough to march an elephant through it.
4.23.2008
Ivory Towers
Tuesday is the new Monday. Seriously, it is. Check your calendar.
It’s super duper Tuesday people! Again. Get excited. I know, I can’t either. Early results indicate that Senator Clinton will take the Pennsylvania Democratic primary – as expected. The margin of victory is still uncertain, but it looks like it will be somewhere between 6 and 12 points. For the past six weeks the media has been telling anyone who would listen that this could be a decisive moment in this marathon of a campaign. However, since mid-March they’ve known the awful truth, that this primary solves nothing. Obama still has a considerable lead in both fund-raising and delegates, and with a very friendly North Carolina and a somewhat friendly Indiana next on the schedule – he is poised to add to that lead. Clinton will continue to compete in upcoming primaries, and this race will continue at least until the final primary on June 3. So, take your seat belts off, crank up the tunes and ignore the kids fighting in the back seat. This one’s going to continue to be ugly.
In a bizarre piece of political news, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton will face each other on World Wresting Entertainment’s Fright Night Smackdown. Sort of. Digital versions of the candidates (avatars) will face each other in a videogame version of one of the most popular shows on cable. Personally, I think this is a fantastic idea. Why don’t we settle all our differences this way? I’ll even take it a step further. Forget about the digitizing, just stick to the (semi) real thing. Let’s get Israel and Palestine to each pick a representative, dress them in some spandex underwear, throw them in the ring and let them drop kick each other until somebody gives up. We could add some theme music, cute little stage names, maybe even entrance videos showing the combatants beating old ladies with pillows and stealing candy from babies. At least this way, nobody else gets killed, neighborhoods don’t get blown up and any retaliation is confined to the ring. Come on, if people will watch Flava of Love, this can certainly find an audience.
I want to talk about elitism for a moment. This has been on my mind for a while now, but really came to the forefront in the past few weeks with this business of some comments Senator Obama made at a campaign event in California. His opponents have tried to paint him as an over-educated, idealistic academic who just doesn’t understand “regular folk” like “the rest of us.” There are two fundamental problems with that statement.
First, no matter how hard they try to convince you of it, neither politicians, nor pundits are “regular folk.” Regular folk do not have their own radio or television programs. Regular folk do not have luxury coaches with decals of their names plastered on the side and vanloads of reporters in tow. Regular folk do not receive six-figure compensation for making speeches, are not chauffeured to work in stretch limousines, or maintain a winter townhouse in Georgetown and a summer home in Martha’s Vineyard. Simply repeating something ad nauseam does not make it true. Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly are not “regular folk.” Hillary Clinton, John McCain and Barack Obama are not “regular folk.” They may have started out that way, but they’re not anymore. And they do not understand what it means to be “regular.” Their only concept of regularity is related to the amount of fiber present in their diet. They are the elite. The top one-percent. They are the very people they are trying to convince you they are not.
Second, what is the problem with being elite? Every single parent in this country who gives a damn about his or her child, pushes that child to stay in school, get excellent grades, go on to college, get a degree, find a good job and make something of him/herself. Parents don’t push their kids toward mediocrity, they push them toward excellence. They want them to be the best. No mother in the world looks at her son and says to herself, “You know what, I hope that someday my little Johnny grows up to be an absolutely non-descript, middle-of-the-road, ho hum, plain old regular guy!” No one does that! The entire American system is set up to allow and encourage every generation to improve upon the one before it. Every low-income family wants to be middle class, and every middle class family wants to be rich. Everyone wants to be elite. Yet somehow there is an idea permeating the culture that elite individuals should act like “regular folk” in order to be accepted. Like there is some twisted kind of pride in plodding through life, scraping by with a high school diploma (maybe) and an monotonous assembly line job waiting to be shipped off to China at a moment’s notice. Well, understand this. I did not spend five years and $100,000 on college to be “regular folk.” My parents expect better of me and I expect better of myself, and so should every single person torturing him or herself reading this paragraph. There’s nothing wrong with success. And there is certainly nothing wrong with not being just like everyone else.
Even though auto sales declined on a whole this past year, sales of hybrid cars actually increased by about 38%. With gasoline steadily creeping toward $4.00 a gallon, American consumers are embracing hybrid technology as a way to keep a little extra money in their pockets. Yet Ford, General Motors, Honda, and to some extent Toyota, continue to complain that sales of hybrid versions of their top-selling vehicles simply aren’t all that strong. Well, there is a very simple explanation for this. There is a very good reason why the Toyota Prius accounts for 50% of all hybrid cars on the road. Its certainly not due to its performance – which is somewhat lacking. And it has nothing to do with its stunning good looks. (That sarcasm’s awfully bitter, isn’t it?) The reason why the Prius is the hybrid of choice is because it is… distinct. Everyone knows a Prius when they see one.
There is a “smug” factor associated with environmental consciousness. It takes some degree of effort to alter one’s lifestyle to become “greener.” And people who go to all the trouble to be green, want everyone to know they’ve gone through all that trouble. When you show up at the Christmas party with in a Prius, everyone knows they are going green and congratulates them for doing it. But if you show up in a hybrid Ford Escape, nobody knows anything – unless they walk outside through the snow and get nice and close to the tiny little hybrid sticker on the tailgate. And by the time they’ve gone through all that trouble they’re just cold and wet and miserable and no longer give a crap about what you’re doing to save the planet.
There is a valuable lesson to be learned from the Prius. If you make it distinct, they will buy it. Doesn’t matter how ugly it is. Is there an uglier car on the road than the Prius? But the people don’t care. Put some leather seats and a hybrid engine in a UPS delivery van and it will sell 50,000 units. People want to be recognized for their contribution to the planet. And the Prius – as frustratingly ugly as it is – accomplishes just that. Learn from that.
Finally, teen media sensation Miley Cyrus, (daughter of Billy “Achy Breaky” Cyrus), has signed a book deal to publish her memoirs. She’s fifteen. I didn’t know there was a market for biographical pamphlets, but apparently I just haven’t been keeping up with the market. I don’t know what life lessons she could possibly have learned in 15 years (a third of which she probably doesn’t remember), and I certainly don’t care enough to shell out $20 for the pamphlet to find out, but I am kind of interested in what she’ll come up with. She could probably distill everything down to one simple, yet poignant statement. At least she’s not Lindsey Lohan.
It’s super duper Tuesday people! Again. Get excited. I know, I can’t either. Early results indicate that Senator Clinton will take the Pennsylvania Democratic primary – as expected. The margin of victory is still uncertain, but it looks like it will be somewhere between 6 and 12 points. For the past six weeks the media has been telling anyone who would listen that this could be a decisive moment in this marathon of a campaign. However, since mid-March they’ve known the awful truth, that this primary solves nothing. Obama still has a considerable lead in both fund-raising and delegates, and with a very friendly North Carolina and a somewhat friendly Indiana next on the schedule – he is poised to add to that lead. Clinton will continue to compete in upcoming primaries, and this race will continue at least until the final primary on June 3. So, take your seat belts off, crank up the tunes and ignore the kids fighting in the back seat. This one’s going to continue to be ugly.
In a bizarre piece of political news, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton will face each other on World Wresting Entertainment’s Fright Night Smackdown. Sort of. Digital versions of the candidates (avatars) will face each other in a videogame version of one of the most popular shows on cable. Personally, I think this is a fantastic idea. Why don’t we settle all our differences this way? I’ll even take it a step further. Forget about the digitizing, just stick to the (semi) real thing. Let’s get Israel and Palestine to each pick a representative, dress them in some spandex underwear, throw them in the ring and let them drop kick each other until somebody gives up. We could add some theme music, cute little stage names, maybe even entrance videos showing the combatants beating old ladies with pillows and stealing candy from babies. At least this way, nobody else gets killed, neighborhoods don’t get blown up and any retaliation is confined to the ring. Come on, if people will watch Flava of Love, this can certainly find an audience.
I want to talk about elitism for a moment. This has been on my mind for a while now, but really came to the forefront in the past few weeks with this business of some comments Senator Obama made at a campaign event in California. His opponents have tried to paint him as an over-educated, idealistic academic who just doesn’t understand “regular folk” like “the rest of us.” There are two fundamental problems with that statement.
First, no matter how hard they try to convince you of it, neither politicians, nor pundits are “regular folk.” Regular folk do not have their own radio or television programs. Regular folk do not have luxury coaches with decals of their names plastered on the side and vanloads of reporters in tow. Regular folk do not receive six-figure compensation for making speeches, are not chauffeured to work in stretch limousines, or maintain a winter townhouse in Georgetown and a summer home in Martha’s Vineyard. Simply repeating something ad nauseam does not make it true. Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly are not “regular folk.” Hillary Clinton, John McCain and Barack Obama are not “regular folk.” They may have started out that way, but they’re not anymore. And they do not understand what it means to be “regular.” Their only concept of regularity is related to the amount of fiber present in their diet. They are the elite. The top one-percent. They are the very people they are trying to convince you they are not.
Second, what is the problem with being elite? Every single parent in this country who gives a damn about his or her child, pushes that child to stay in school, get excellent grades, go on to college, get a degree, find a good job and make something of him/herself. Parents don’t push their kids toward mediocrity, they push them toward excellence. They want them to be the best. No mother in the world looks at her son and says to herself, “You know what, I hope that someday my little Johnny grows up to be an absolutely non-descript, middle-of-the-road, ho hum, plain old regular guy!” No one does that! The entire American system is set up to allow and encourage every generation to improve upon the one before it. Every low-income family wants to be middle class, and every middle class family wants to be rich. Everyone wants to be elite. Yet somehow there is an idea permeating the culture that elite individuals should act like “regular folk” in order to be accepted. Like there is some twisted kind of pride in plodding through life, scraping by with a high school diploma (maybe) and an monotonous assembly line job waiting to be shipped off to China at a moment’s notice. Well, understand this. I did not spend five years and $100,000 on college to be “regular folk.” My parents expect better of me and I expect better of myself, and so should every single person torturing him or herself reading this paragraph. There’s nothing wrong with success. And there is certainly nothing wrong with not being just like everyone else.
Even though auto sales declined on a whole this past year, sales of hybrid cars actually increased by about 38%. With gasoline steadily creeping toward $4.00 a gallon, American consumers are embracing hybrid technology as a way to keep a little extra money in their pockets. Yet Ford, General Motors, Honda, and to some extent Toyota, continue to complain that sales of hybrid versions of their top-selling vehicles simply aren’t all that strong. Well, there is a very simple explanation for this. There is a very good reason why the Toyota Prius accounts for 50% of all hybrid cars on the road. Its certainly not due to its performance – which is somewhat lacking. And it has nothing to do with its stunning good looks. (That sarcasm’s awfully bitter, isn’t it?) The reason why the Prius is the hybrid of choice is because it is… distinct. Everyone knows a Prius when they see one.
There is a “smug” factor associated with environmental consciousness. It takes some degree of effort to alter one’s lifestyle to become “greener.” And people who go to all the trouble to be green, want everyone to know they’ve gone through all that trouble. When you show up at the Christmas party with in a Prius, everyone knows they are going green and congratulates them for doing it. But if you show up in a hybrid Ford Escape, nobody knows anything – unless they walk outside through the snow and get nice and close to the tiny little hybrid sticker on the tailgate. And by the time they’ve gone through all that trouble they’re just cold and wet and miserable and no longer give a crap about what you’re doing to save the planet.
There is a valuable lesson to be learned from the Prius. If you make it distinct, they will buy it. Doesn’t matter how ugly it is. Is there an uglier car on the road than the Prius? But the people don’t care. Put some leather seats and a hybrid engine in a UPS delivery van and it will sell 50,000 units. People want to be recognized for their contribution to the planet. And the Prius – as frustratingly ugly as it is – accomplishes just that. Learn from that.
Finally, teen media sensation Miley Cyrus, (daughter of Billy “Achy Breaky” Cyrus), has signed a book deal to publish her memoirs. She’s fifteen. I didn’t know there was a market for biographical pamphlets, but apparently I just haven’t been keeping up with the market. I don’t know what life lessons she could possibly have learned in 15 years (a third of which she probably doesn’t remember), and I certainly don’t care enough to shell out $20 for the pamphlet to find out, but I am kind of interested in what she’ll come up with. She could probably distill everything down to one simple, yet poignant statement. At least she’s not Lindsey Lohan.
4.17.2008
Gin & Juice
It is said that good things come to those who wait. So I waited two additional days before filing this post. I’m still waiting.
ABC News hosted the 21st debate between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama last night in Philadelphia. At least I’m told it was the 21st debate. I lost count after six. From the clips foisted upon me by PBS and cable news, this one seemed perhaps a little less civil than previous incarnations. Plenty of sniping about not really being shot at in Bosnia, not wearing little flag lapel pins, crazy people some candidate might have passed on the street on a moped twenty years ago, blah, blah, blah. I’ve said from the beginning that since Obama and Clinton agree on the issues, this campaign is essentially about personality. And while last night’s debate was considerably more about personality than policy, the only thing we learned about the candidates is that the personalities on display last night seem to be pushing potential voters toward McCain. The worse they make each other look, the better McCain looks. And he’s already a fairly likable guy.
Ever wonder where your hard earned tax dollars go when they vanish from your paycheck? Well, I might have an answer for you. The Government Accountability Office - the ONLY government agency which actually works the way it is supposed to - released its audit of federal government credit and debit cards for the 2006 fiscal year. Surprise surprise, close to half of the transactions made that year were considered to be improper. In this case, the term improper refers to things like clothing, iPods, Internet dating services, digital cameras, laptops, $13,500 steak dinners, and lingerie “to be worn during jungle training in Ecuador.” What kind of training that is, I don’t know, and I’m not sure I want to speculate. But I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with legitimate expenses relating to the tanking economy, $115 per barrel oil or the war in Iraq. Maybe we’re just expecting too much from our civil servants. After all, what’s the point of having an expense account if you can’t abuse it by purchasing camouflage g-strings.
Pope Benedict is making his first visit to the United States this week. This morning he held mass for close to 50,000 faithful at the Washington Nationals cathedral... er... stadium, (sorry), during which time priests attempted (and I assume succeeded) to give communion to all in attendance in less than 15 minutes. Tomorrow he’ll move to New York City to hold mass at Yankee Stadium. You know, if he wanted to tour America’s great ballparks he could have just bought a ticket.
Not a Ford guy? Don’t like the styling (or lack thereof) of your GMC pick-up? Xenophobic and refuse to purchase anything from a company not founded by a white anglo-saxon male? You have new options my friend. Welcome to the newest monster merger creation, Nisysler. That’s Nissan and Chrysler in case you were wondering. The "best" of both worlds. Nissan has been experiencing a 40% decline in sales of its new Titan pick-up truck. Instead of sitting around and letting the losses pile up until the company is billions in debt and on the verge of bankruptcy as some other manufactures have done, (ahem, General Motors, ahem), Nissan has come up with a novel idea. Pawn their problem off on some other sucker. Beginning in 2010, they will no longer manufacture their own trucks in North America. That task will fall to Chrysler, which will churn out Nissan’s new trucks from Chrysler factories, built by Chrysler employees. In exchange, Nissan will develop a new small car for Chrysler to market as its own. With this deal the Japanese gain a little street-cred in the truck market, and Americans will hopefully never have to be subjected to the likes of the Neon ever again.
A New Jersey man scored a win for all geeks this past December when he utilized his ninja-like computer skills to propose to his real-life girlfriend. Yes, I used ninja-like computer skills and girlfriend in the same sentence. Bernie Peng hacked into a video game and rigged it to propose to his girlfriend once she reached a predetermined score. No word on how low said score was set to, but nevertheless she did play the game long enough to reach the plateau, unlock the proposal and render Bernie the happiest geek ever to barricade himself in his parent’s basement. Way to go Bernie. You are an inspiration to pimple-faced adolescent boys everywhere.
Finally, a funny thing happened on the way to the Country Music Awards. It seems one Snoop Doggy Dogg showed up and stole the show. Dressed in black with cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat, Mr. Dogg dropped in to wax nostalgic on Johnny Cash, pose for pictures with petite blonde country starlets I’ve never heard of, and hit on LeAnn Rimes. Yes, that LeAnn Rimes. Apparently the D-O-double G was in the midst of another interview when Ms. Rimes strolled by in what could only be described as a set of sagging venetian blinds and caught his attention. Not one to allow a pair of legs in a low-cut dress pass him by without comment, Snoop extricated himself from his interview and ask Ms. Rimes if he could “meet her”. I don’t know if she would know the difference between a Snoop Dogg and a chili dog, but she was courteous and graciously refrained from laughing when he told her she looked like Marilyn Monroe. It’s also unclear whether Snoop could distinguish Marilyn Monroe from Marilyn Manson, but hey, they were at the Country Music Awards. I’m surprised he could distinguish her from anyone else through the tight jeans, wife-beaters and clouds of hairspray backstage.
ABC News hosted the 21st debate between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama last night in Philadelphia. At least I’m told it was the 21st debate. I lost count after six. From the clips foisted upon me by PBS and cable news, this one seemed perhaps a little less civil than previous incarnations. Plenty of sniping about not really being shot at in Bosnia, not wearing little flag lapel pins, crazy people some candidate might have passed on the street on a moped twenty years ago, blah, blah, blah. I’ve said from the beginning that since Obama and Clinton agree on the issues, this campaign is essentially about personality. And while last night’s debate was considerably more about personality than policy, the only thing we learned about the candidates is that the personalities on display last night seem to be pushing potential voters toward McCain. The worse they make each other look, the better McCain looks. And he’s already a fairly likable guy.
Ever wonder where your hard earned tax dollars go when they vanish from your paycheck? Well, I might have an answer for you. The Government Accountability Office - the ONLY government agency which actually works the way it is supposed to - released its audit of federal government credit and debit cards for the 2006 fiscal year. Surprise surprise, close to half of the transactions made that year were considered to be improper. In this case, the term improper refers to things like clothing, iPods, Internet dating services, digital cameras, laptops, $13,500 steak dinners, and lingerie “to be worn during jungle training in Ecuador.” What kind of training that is, I don’t know, and I’m not sure I want to speculate. But I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with legitimate expenses relating to the tanking economy, $115 per barrel oil or the war in Iraq. Maybe we’re just expecting too much from our civil servants. After all, what’s the point of having an expense account if you can’t abuse it by purchasing camouflage g-strings.
Pope Benedict is making his first visit to the United States this week. This morning he held mass for close to 50,000 faithful at the Washington Nationals cathedral... er... stadium, (sorry), during which time priests attempted (and I assume succeeded) to give communion to all in attendance in less than 15 minutes. Tomorrow he’ll move to New York City to hold mass at Yankee Stadium. You know, if he wanted to tour America’s great ballparks he could have just bought a ticket.
Not a Ford guy? Don’t like the styling (or lack thereof) of your GMC pick-up? Xenophobic and refuse to purchase anything from a company not founded by a white anglo-saxon male? You have new options my friend. Welcome to the newest monster merger creation, Nisysler. That’s Nissan and Chrysler in case you were wondering. The "best" of both worlds. Nissan has been experiencing a 40% decline in sales of its new Titan pick-up truck. Instead of sitting around and letting the losses pile up until the company is billions in debt and on the verge of bankruptcy as some other manufactures have done, (ahem, General Motors, ahem), Nissan has come up with a novel idea. Pawn their problem off on some other sucker. Beginning in 2010, they will no longer manufacture their own trucks in North America. That task will fall to Chrysler, which will churn out Nissan’s new trucks from Chrysler factories, built by Chrysler employees. In exchange, Nissan will develop a new small car for Chrysler to market as its own. With this deal the Japanese gain a little street-cred in the truck market, and Americans will hopefully never have to be subjected to the likes of the Neon ever again.
A New Jersey man scored a win for all geeks this past December when he utilized his ninja-like computer skills to propose to his real-life girlfriend. Yes, I used ninja-like computer skills and girlfriend in the same sentence. Bernie Peng hacked into a video game and rigged it to propose to his girlfriend once she reached a predetermined score. No word on how low said score was set to, but nevertheless she did play the game long enough to reach the plateau, unlock the proposal and render Bernie the happiest geek ever to barricade himself in his parent’s basement. Way to go Bernie. You are an inspiration to pimple-faced adolescent boys everywhere.
Finally, a funny thing happened on the way to the Country Music Awards. It seems one Snoop Doggy Dogg showed up and stole the show. Dressed in black with cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat, Mr. Dogg dropped in to wax nostalgic on Johnny Cash, pose for pictures with petite blonde country starlets I’ve never heard of, and hit on LeAnn Rimes. Yes, that LeAnn Rimes. Apparently the D-O-double G was in the midst of another interview when Ms. Rimes strolled by in what could only be described as a set of sagging venetian blinds and caught his attention. Not one to allow a pair of legs in a low-cut dress pass him by without comment, Snoop extricated himself from his interview and ask Ms. Rimes if he could “meet her”. I don’t know if she would know the difference between a Snoop Dogg and a chili dog, but she was courteous and graciously refrained from laughing when he told her she looked like Marilyn Monroe. It’s also unclear whether Snoop could distinguish Marilyn Monroe from Marilyn Manson, but hey, they were at the Country Music Awards. I’m surprised he could distinguish her from anyone else through the tight jeans, wife-beaters and clouds of hairspray backstage.
4.12.2008
Pipe Dreams
It’s finally Friday. I’m sorry, do we really need to have so many days between Monday and Friday? Raise your hand if you want three day work weeks with an afternoon siesta?
Last week’s round-up was a little short, mostly because the world is incredibly boring. But I am anything but boring - sometimes. So I offer up this supplement for your amusement.
General David Patreaus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker gave their semi-annual report on the Iraq war to Congress. The verdict? Progress is being made. Surprise! They fooled you, didn’t they. You thought they were going to say that so much progress has been made, they were packing up and rolling home, didn’t you. Silly rabbit. As long as progress is being made, this administration will not withdraw from Iraq. And make no mistake about it, as long as this administration is in office, progress is being made, regardless of whether progress really is being made or not.
While we’re on the subject, I’m sick of progress. Seriously. I’m bordering on physically ill. If I hear one more person mention the word progress I will collapse into convulsions, foaming at the mouth. As a matter of fact, I’m so sick of progress, I’m placing a moratorium on progress. From this moment on, I will no longer use the word p______s until it ceases to become a synonym for “screw you, we do whatever the hell we want.” Or until I forget what I just wrote. Whichever comes first.
President - and sore loser - Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe has ordered run-off elections to determine the winner of last month’s presidential elections. This despite the fact that the country’s election commission still refuses to release the results of the election to the public. Anybody else find that odd? Why would you hold a run-off election if you don’t know whether or not you won? And there is the rub. Mugabe lost his election, and he knows it. But he loves his 600,000% inflation rate so much he refuses to leave office and instead will insist on dragging out the process, beating his opposition to death and declaring victory by default. Consider this. How awful of a president to you have to be to lose an election you rigged to benefit yourself?
To the absolute surprise of NO ONE outside of the network, CBS cancelled it’s newest stomach-churning reality experience “Hidden Talents of the Stars” after two-thirds of an episode. For some reason it seems viewers weren’t all that interested in watching ensign Sulu sing Willie Nelson or Clint Black do his impression of David Letterman. Who knew? Anybody seen A Clockwork Orange? Remember the scene where they sit they strap Malcolm McDowell’s character to the chair, prop his eyes open with the metal pincers and force him to watch all the disturbing images in an attempt to cure his sociopathy? Why can’t we superglue all the network executives to a park bench in the Yellowknife in the middle of January, prop their eyes open with toothpicks and force them to watch every single minute of the mindless drivel they attempt to inflict on the public every day. Maybe then we won’t have to suffer through Lipstick Jungle and Big Brother 37.
Speaking of mindless drivel, there is another controversy brewing over political campaign finance reform. Republican Senator John McCain, co-author of the McCain-Feingold bill - seems to be having trouble raising money for his presidential campaign. The two remaining Democratic candidates have raised a total of over $500 million dollars to date, whereas McCain has managed to score little over $50 million - about 10% of their total. Republicans - who used to feel they had an advantage over Democrats in the fund-raising arena prior to the implementation of new campaign finance rules - have never quite forgiven McCain for drying up their funding and seem to be reluctant to contribute money. But, they also remember how effective the “Swift Boat” ads were at helping sink John Kerry’s bid for the presidency four years ago. So, several groups have filed lawsuits to overturn the limits on political contributions by individuals to both “non-profits” and to the candidates themselves. Now, while I am in favor of complete public funding of presidential elections, I’m not entirely opposed to this idea either. The Supreme Court has ruled on multiple occasions that political contributions are protected by the First Amendment as money equals speech. And like my First Amendment right as much - maybe more - than the next guy. And let’s face it. Regardless of what we do, “special interest” money - however you choose to define that term - always gets into politics and gums up the works. So instead of trying to limit contributions, let’s completely eliminate the restrictions. Allow any individual to contribute whatever amount he or she desires to the candidate of his or her choice. On two conditions. First, the contributor must be a human being. No more corporate donations, no more union donations, no more donations from anything that is not a living breathing human being. And second, full disclosure. Every dollar contributed must be accounted for and publicly accessible. When someone makes a donation, his or her name goes up on a campaign finance section of the candidate’s website, along with the amount they have contributed. With this system, anyone could find out exactly who donated to whom and how much. No more hiding behind organizations like People For the American Way, or America Coming Together or Middle-aged Bisexuals for Tea and Crumpets on Tuesdays. The Constitution guarantees individuals the right to freedom of speech, not anonymity. If you feel strongly enough to say what you want, you shouldn’t have to hide behind some faceless entity to say it.
About 2,784 years ago a bunch of Greeks got together and said, “Hey, you know what would be really cool? We should all get together, get naked, and compete against each other in some sports!” And thus the Olympics were born. Now, 2,784 years - and a gazillion dollars later, I would humbly suggest we return to the original idea. If nothing else we could increase viewership. There is a second controversy brewing ahead of this summer’s Beijing games. It surrounds a new swimsuit developed by Speedo that reportedly increases a swimmer’s speed by about 2%. These aren’t figments of the marketing department’s imagination. Since February, 23 swimming world records have been broken, 22 of them by swimmers wearing the new suit. There are some people - mostly those sponsored, employed by or invested in Speedo - who view this breakthrough suit as the greatest thing to happen to the sport since the invention of the heated pool. These people are idiots. I don’t know if anyone remembers this, but the Olympic games are actually about fair competition between human beings. When said human beings ingest or inject synthetic (or in some cases natural) substances to enhance their performance, we call that that cheating. Yet when these same human beings encapsulate themselves in synthetic substances to enhance their performance, we call that progr..., um... advancement. I don’t see the difference. Both techniques provide certain competitors with a distinct advantage over the others. True, anyone can purchase the new swimsuit if they are willing to shell out $600. But, anyone could inject themselves with anabolic steroids as well. Both methods produce the same result. The new swimsuit amounts to little more than a technological steroid. Competition should be between the athletes, not their sponsors. I’m fully aware that there is too much money invested in the modern Olympic machine to emphasize the athletics over the commercialism. But wouldn’t it be nice to hold a competition for the purpose of showcasing the sport instead of the sponsorships? Let’s hear it for athletic men and women running, jumping, flipping and swimming in the nude!
Finally, a suburb of San Francisco has petitioned to rename its sewage treatment plant the George W. Bush Sewage Treatment Plant. If they were looking for a story that would write its own jokes, mission accomplished. Tee hee hee.
Last week’s round-up was a little short, mostly because the world is incredibly boring. But I am anything but boring - sometimes. So I offer up this supplement for your amusement.
General David Patreaus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker gave their semi-annual report on the Iraq war to Congress. The verdict? Progress is being made. Surprise! They fooled you, didn’t they. You thought they were going to say that so much progress has been made, they were packing up and rolling home, didn’t you. Silly rabbit. As long as progress is being made, this administration will not withdraw from Iraq. And make no mistake about it, as long as this administration is in office, progress is being made, regardless of whether progress really is being made or not.
While we’re on the subject, I’m sick of progress. Seriously. I’m bordering on physically ill. If I hear one more person mention the word progress I will collapse into convulsions, foaming at the mouth. As a matter of fact, I’m so sick of progress, I’m placing a moratorium on progress. From this moment on, I will no longer use the word p______s until it ceases to become a synonym for “screw you, we do whatever the hell we want.” Or until I forget what I just wrote. Whichever comes first.
President - and sore loser - Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe has ordered run-off elections to determine the winner of last month’s presidential elections. This despite the fact that the country’s election commission still refuses to release the results of the election to the public. Anybody else find that odd? Why would you hold a run-off election if you don’t know whether or not you won? And there is the rub. Mugabe lost his election, and he knows it. But he loves his 600,000% inflation rate so much he refuses to leave office and instead will insist on dragging out the process, beating his opposition to death and declaring victory by default. Consider this. How awful of a president to you have to be to lose an election you rigged to benefit yourself?
To the absolute surprise of NO ONE outside of the network, CBS cancelled it’s newest stomach-churning reality experience “Hidden Talents of the Stars” after two-thirds of an episode. For some reason it seems viewers weren’t all that interested in watching ensign Sulu sing Willie Nelson or Clint Black do his impression of David Letterman. Who knew? Anybody seen A Clockwork Orange? Remember the scene where they sit they strap Malcolm McDowell’s character to the chair, prop his eyes open with the metal pincers and force him to watch all the disturbing images in an attempt to cure his sociopathy? Why can’t we superglue all the network executives to a park bench in the Yellowknife in the middle of January, prop their eyes open with toothpicks and force them to watch every single minute of the mindless drivel they attempt to inflict on the public every day. Maybe then we won’t have to suffer through Lipstick Jungle and Big Brother 37.
Speaking of mindless drivel, there is another controversy brewing over political campaign finance reform. Republican Senator John McCain, co-author of the McCain-Feingold bill - seems to be having trouble raising money for his presidential campaign. The two remaining Democratic candidates have raised a total of over $500 million dollars to date, whereas McCain has managed to score little over $50 million - about 10% of their total. Republicans - who used to feel they had an advantage over Democrats in the fund-raising arena prior to the implementation of new campaign finance rules - have never quite forgiven McCain for drying up their funding and seem to be reluctant to contribute money. But, they also remember how effective the “Swift Boat” ads were at helping sink John Kerry’s bid for the presidency four years ago. So, several groups have filed lawsuits to overturn the limits on political contributions by individuals to both “non-profits” and to the candidates themselves. Now, while I am in favor of complete public funding of presidential elections, I’m not entirely opposed to this idea either. The Supreme Court has ruled on multiple occasions that political contributions are protected by the First Amendment as money equals speech. And like my First Amendment right as much - maybe more - than the next guy. And let’s face it. Regardless of what we do, “special interest” money - however you choose to define that term - always gets into politics and gums up the works. So instead of trying to limit contributions, let’s completely eliminate the restrictions. Allow any individual to contribute whatever amount he or she desires to the candidate of his or her choice. On two conditions. First, the contributor must be a human being. No more corporate donations, no more union donations, no more donations from anything that is not a living breathing human being. And second, full disclosure. Every dollar contributed must be accounted for and publicly accessible. When someone makes a donation, his or her name goes up on a campaign finance section of the candidate’s website, along with the amount they have contributed. With this system, anyone could find out exactly who donated to whom and how much. No more hiding behind organizations like People For the American Way, or America Coming Together or Middle-aged Bisexuals for Tea and Crumpets on Tuesdays. The Constitution guarantees individuals the right to freedom of speech, not anonymity. If you feel strongly enough to say what you want, you shouldn’t have to hide behind some faceless entity to say it.
About 2,784 years ago a bunch of Greeks got together and said, “Hey, you know what would be really cool? We should all get together, get naked, and compete against each other in some sports!” And thus the Olympics were born. Now, 2,784 years - and a gazillion dollars later, I would humbly suggest we return to the original idea. If nothing else we could increase viewership. There is a second controversy brewing ahead of this summer’s Beijing games. It surrounds a new swimsuit developed by Speedo that reportedly increases a swimmer’s speed by about 2%. These aren’t figments of the marketing department’s imagination. Since February, 23 swimming world records have been broken, 22 of them by swimmers wearing the new suit. There are some people - mostly those sponsored, employed by or invested in Speedo - who view this breakthrough suit as the greatest thing to happen to the sport since the invention of the heated pool. These people are idiots. I don’t know if anyone remembers this, but the Olympic games are actually about fair competition between human beings. When said human beings ingest or inject synthetic (or in some cases natural) substances to enhance their performance, we call that that cheating. Yet when these same human beings encapsulate themselves in synthetic substances to enhance their performance, we call that progr..., um... advancement. I don’t see the difference. Both techniques provide certain competitors with a distinct advantage over the others. True, anyone can purchase the new swimsuit if they are willing to shell out $600. But, anyone could inject themselves with anabolic steroids as well. Both methods produce the same result. The new swimsuit amounts to little more than a technological steroid. Competition should be between the athletes, not their sponsors. I’m fully aware that there is too much money invested in the modern Olympic machine to emphasize the athletics over the commercialism. But wouldn’t it be nice to hold a competition for the purpose of showcasing the sport instead of the sponsorships? Let’s hear it for athletic men and women running, jumping, flipping and swimming in the nude!
Finally, a suburb of San Francisco has petitioned to rename its sewage treatment plant the George W. Bush Sewage Treatment Plant. If they were looking for a story that would write its own jokes, mission accomplished. Tee hee hee.
4.10.2008
Interstate Love Song
So I’m a little late this week. So what. It’s not like you were perched on the edge of your seats waiting with baited breath for my weekly words of wisdom. Were you? Seriously?
The latest polls seem to indicate that Senator Clinton’s lead over Senator Obama in Pennsylvania has shrunk to between 4 and 7 points from the 20+ points it had been earlier in the campaign. Pennsylvania seems to be following the trend of previous states in that the longer Obama campaigns in a state, the better he does. If the tend continues, Obama should pull to at least within the margin of error, then give up a couple points to Clinton the day or two before the election. Clinton needs to win every state she is expected to win in order to make her case to the super delegates to overturn the will of the electorate and hand her the nomination. But if Obama should take Pennsylvania, this race could be over.
Senator Clinton’s primary campaign strategist “resigned” this past week over an embarrassing situation regarding a free trade deal. Mark Penn and his public relations firm had been employed by the Columbian government to lobby congress on behalf of a proposed free trade deal with the United States. Unfortunately for Penn, a significant portion of Senator Clinton’s support - especially in states like Ohio and Pennsylvania - is due to her stated opposition to free trade deals. This whole scenario sounds vaguely familiar, doesn’t it? Wouldn’t it be better if we just lined up all the political candidates behind a one-way mirror and picked out the one we thought looked least like a crook? Giving them millions of dollars, a staff of hundreds and eighteen months to campaign, and expect them not to put their feet in their mouths is simply asking too much.
State police and the FBI raided the Texas compound of imprisoned FLDS leader Warren Jeffs last Thursday after receiving a local shelter received a phone call from a sixteen year-old girl claiming she had ben raped by her 50 year-old husband. Since that time, 555 women and children have either left or been removed from the ranch for questioning. Officials have so far been unable to locate the girl that made the phone call, but have placed the 416 children they did find under the protection of the state while they try to sort the matter out. I guess what I don’t understand is why this raid didn’t take place a long time ago. The FBI has known about this compound for years. They’ve been aware that underaged girls are married off to older men with multiple wives, both of which are illegal Texas. Yet up until now, nothing has been done. It seems as though law enforcement is still too scarred by the events of Waco, Ruby Ridge and Elian Gonzalez to confront anything of this nature head-on without something like a call from and alleged victim. At least they managed to get through this one without the ranch burning down, shooting anyone, or returning anyone to a communist country at gunpoint.
Oil company executives took the stand on Capitol Hill last week to face questioning regarding their record profits in the face of the country’s economic downturn. During the discussion, one or more of them made the remark that while their profits were large, they really were in line with the profits of many other companies. Reeeally. Companies like Bear-Stearns perhaps? Americans may be dumb enough to pay to $4.00 a gallon for gasoline, but they certainly aren’t stupid enough to buy that. For Exxon and others in their industry to claim that their profits are in line with those of other companies is akin to Ferrari claiming that their prices are in line with those of other compact car makers. Please. Show me another company making $40.6 billion a year in profits. Do these people even live on the same planet as the rest of us?
The Olympic torch arrived in San Francisco yesterday for its only North American stop. Even before it landed, the protests had started. Only days earlier In London and Paris, protesters had attacked torch bearers (including a teenaged girl) in an attempt to extinguish the Olympic flame. Pro-Tibet activists in Frisco scaled the Golden Gate Bridge with climbing equipment hidden in baby-carriages to hang banners protesting the presence of the flame in the city. Today, police changed the route the torch was to take through the city in order to avoid confrontations like those in Europe. The International Olympic Committee will soon vote on whether or not to cancel all the remaining international legs of the relay in light of the uproar. But doesn’t it seem as though this is something the IOC should have expected when they awarded the games to the Chinese eight years ago? Even though they are very adept at making money hand over fist in the capitalist marketplace, they remain a communist country, repressing individual rights and freedoms. It going to be that way at least until a new generation of leaders who care more about economic prominence than military dominance replace the old guard of the ruling party. How China handles these games will provide some indication as to where they are on the scale of progress.
American Airlines cancelled over a thousand flights today to perform FAA required inspections on some of the wiring on-board their MD-80 planes. This follows the cancellation of over five hundred flights yesterday and precedes who knows how many cancellations tomorrow. The demand for inspections is a bit of a CYA of behalf of the FAA after being caught allowing Southwest Airlines to slide on many of their inspections last year. All this chaos comes at a time when fares are increasing, on-time flights have declined dramatically, passenger complaint are up 40-60%, and a different airline goes bankrupt every week. If the next president wants a guaranteed winning issue, fix the air travel system in this country. Monkeys in pants could run a transportation system better than the airlines and the FAA.
There are reports that Michael Vick is playing pick-up football in prison. No word on whether he’s playing quarterback or tight end. Sorry. Couldn’t resist that one.
Finally, two items which may interest only me. The Stone Temple Pilots have launched a 65-date reunion tour which kicked off last night in Los Angeles. Let’s see how long it takes before Scott Weiland screws this tour up with a three day heroin binge. And, the NHL playoffs begin this week. Unfortunately, only three of the six Canadian teams survived the season, but three is at least three times better than zero. So here’s to Montreal, Ottawa or Calgary making the finals and not choking on the sweet taste of victory for the fourth straight season. Get that cup back where it belongs!
The latest polls seem to indicate that Senator Clinton’s lead over Senator Obama in Pennsylvania has shrunk to between 4 and 7 points from the 20+ points it had been earlier in the campaign. Pennsylvania seems to be following the trend of previous states in that the longer Obama campaigns in a state, the better he does. If the tend continues, Obama should pull to at least within the margin of error, then give up a couple points to Clinton the day or two before the election. Clinton needs to win every state she is expected to win in order to make her case to the super delegates to overturn the will of the electorate and hand her the nomination. But if Obama should take Pennsylvania, this race could be over.
Senator Clinton’s primary campaign strategist “resigned” this past week over an embarrassing situation regarding a free trade deal. Mark Penn and his public relations firm had been employed by the Columbian government to lobby congress on behalf of a proposed free trade deal with the United States. Unfortunately for Penn, a significant portion of Senator Clinton’s support - especially in states like Ohio and Pennsylvania - is due to her stated opposition to free trade deals. This whole scenario sounds vaguely familiar, doesn’t it? Wouldn’t it be better if we just lined up all the political candidates behind a one-way mirror and picked out the one we thought looked least like a crook? Giving them millions of dollars, a staff of hundreds and eighteen months to campaign, and expect them not to put their feet in their mouths is simply asking too much.
State police and the FBI raided the Texas compound of imprisoned FLDS leader Warren Jeffs last Thursday after receiving a local shelter received a phone call from a sixteen year-old girl claiming she had ben raped by her 50 year-old husband. Since that time, 555 women and children have either left or been removed from the ranch for questioning. Officials have so far been unable to locate the girl that made the phone call, but have placed the 416 children they did find under the protection of the state while they try to sort the matter out. I guess what I don’t understand is why this raid didn’t take place a long time ago. The FBI has known about this compound for years. They’ve been aware that underaged girls are married off to older men with multiple wives, both of which are illegal Texas. Yet up until now, nothing has been done. It seems as though law enforcement is still too scarred by the events of Waco, Ruby Ridge and Elian Gonzalez to confront anything of this nature head-on without something like a call from and alleged victim. At least they managed to get through this one without the ranch burning down, shooting anyone, or returning anyone to a communist country at gunpoint.
Oil company executives took the stand on Capitol Hill last week to face questioning regarding their record profits in the face of the country’s economic downturn. During the discussion, one or more of them made the remark that while their profits were large, they really were in line with the profits of many other companies. Reeeally. Companies like Bear-Stearns perhaps? Americans may be dumb enough to pay to $4.00 a gallon for gasoline, but they certainly aren’t stupid enough to buy that. For Exxon and others in their industry to claim that their profits are in line with those of other companies is akin to Ferrari claiming that their prices are in line with those of other compact car makers. Please. Show me another company making $40.6 billion a year in profits. Do these people even live on the same planet as the rest of us?
The Olympic torch arrived in San Francisco yesterday for its only North American stop. Even before it landed, the protests had started. Only days earlier In London and Paris, protesters had attacked torch bearers (including a teenaged girl) in an attempt to extinguish the Olympic flame. Pro-Tibet activists in Frisco scaled the Golden Gate Bridge with climbing equipment hidden in baby-carriages to hang banners protesting the presence of the flame in the city. Today, police changed the route the torch was to take through the city in order to avoid confrontations like those in Europe. The International Olympic Committee will soon vote on whether or not to cancel all the remaining international legs of the relay in light of the uproar. But doesn’t it seem as though this is something the IOC should have expected when they awarded the games to the Chinese eight years ago? Even though they are very adept at making money hand over fist in the capitalist marketplace, they remain a communist country, repressing individual rights and freedoms. It going to be that way at least until a new generation of leaders who care more about economic prominence than military dominance replace the old guard of the ruling party. How China handles these games will provide some indication as to where they are on the scale of progress.
American Airlines cancelled over a thousand flights today to perform FAA required inspections on some of the wiring on-board their MD-80 planes. This follows the cancellation of over five hundred flights yesterday and precedes who knows how many cancellations tomorrow. The demand for inspections is a bit of a CYA of behalf of the FAA after being caught allowing Southwest Airlines to slide on many of their inspections last year. All this chaos comes at a time when fares are increasing, on-time flights have declined dramatically, passenger complaint are up 40-60%, and a different airline goes bankrupt every week. If the next president wants a guaranteed winning issue, fix the air travel system in this country. Monkeys in pants could run a transportation system better than the airlines and the FAA.
There are reports that Michael Vick is playing pick-up football in prison. No word on whether he’s playing quarterback or tight end. Sorry. Couldn’t resist that one.
Finally, two items which may interest only me. The Stone Temple Pilots have launched a 65-date reunion tour which kicked off last night in Los Angeles. Let’s see how long it takes before Scott Weiland screws this tour up with a three day heroin binge. And, the NHL playoffs begin this week. Unfortunately, only three of the six Canadian teams survived the season, but three is at least three times better than zero. So here’s to Montreal, Ottawa or Calgary making the finals and not choking on the sweet taste of victory for the fourth straight season. Get that cup back where it belongs!
4.01.2008
Welcome to the Candy Shop
Today is opening day of the Major League Baseball season. Don’t cry, Cub fans. There’s always next year.
Last week a poll was released indicating that 28% of Clinton supporters claim they will not support Obama if he gets the Democratic Party nomination, versus 19% of Obama supporters who claim they will not support Clinton if she wins the nomination. How did the Democratic Party go from claiming they have two candidates they were very happy with to having 47% of the Democratic primary electorate dissatisfied with their choices in a little less than ninety days? Anyone who thinks that a prolonged primary campaign does anything positive for the Democratic Party is smoking some pretty powerful stuff. Anybody seen President Clinton?
Continuing on the subject of polls, Gallup released a poll today showing Barack Obama with a 10-point lead over Hillary Clinton nationally, among Democratic voters, as of March 29 of this year. This is a complete reversal of Gallup’s early February polls which showed Clinton with an 11-point lead over Obama. This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I consider myself a fairly intelligent individual. (Feel free to disagree if you are so inclined.) But considering the month Senator Obama has had, the beating he took for his association with the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, and the strength of Clinton’s support among voters in the upcoming Pennsylvania primary, conventional wisdom would seem to dictate Obama should be scrambling up the tube slide trying to catch up to his opponent. But nothing about this campaign (except for the politics) is conventional, is it?
I wasted seven minutes of my life this evening watching CNN talking-head Lou Dobbs. The Sultan of Smug was discussing the “obvious, indisputable media bias” against Hillary Clinton. His reporter guest from the Washington Post was commenting on a study by some purportedly “unbiased” media research center saying that in the past 60 days, approximately 83% of the network news coverage and commentary on Senator Obama has been “positive”, versus about 53% positive coverage for Senator Clinton. Now I’m always a little suspicious of studies coming from “unbiased” sources. If someone has to tell you they are unbiased, they probably aren’t. Hearing this news the obligatory Clinton supporter proceeded to blame the media for not being hard enough on Obama, while the obligatory Obama supporter claimed the Clinton campaign - who has traditionally enjoyed what some might call favorable media coverage - more or less had a case of sour grapes. I realize it may be difficult to believe, but I think there was a lesson somewhere in this display of adolescence. First, I’m always wary of anyone who claims to be unbiased. If someone tells you they have no preference, they more than likely have a preference. (The same rule applies to people who claim that you can trust them.) But assuming the results of the study are accurate, it raises an interesting point of conversation. Critics of media bias point to anything short of a perfectly even distribution of positive and negative coverage between all the candidates is patently unfair and a threat to the democracy. But there is something else to consider. Not all ideas - or candidates - are created equal. Take the equal coverage argument to its absurd extreme conclusion. Would Joseph Stalin merit the same quantity of positive news coverage as Mahatma Gandhi? Obviously neither Barack Obama nor Hillary Clinton is either Joseph Stalin or Mahatma Gandhi, but the underlying principle may still be applicable. Is it possible that some items or issues receive more favorable coverage because they simply merit more favorable coverage?
While we’re on the subject of issues, can I tell you how tired I am of hearing supporters of both Democratic candidates complain that the primary campaign is focusing too much on personality and not enough on “the issues.” It is somewhat of a dubious charge. There have been no less than twenty debates during the course of this campaign. If you don’t know where each senator stands on the issues you either haven’t been paying attention or you simply aren’t interested in finding out. But there is a a degree of truth to the statement. This Democratic primary race is a personality contest. And there is a very good reason for that. The actual policy differences between the candidates amount to little more than the difference between midnight and 12:03 am. Both want the same things for the country, each has a slightly different way of achieving those goals. And because the goals are so similar, the contest has turned to the areas in which the senators differ - style and personality. Which may offer an explanation for Obama’s 10-point national lead.
Late last week a chunk of ice four times the size of Manhattan broke away from a Connecticut-sized ice-shelf in Antarctica and tumbled into the ocean. So much for those Emperor penguin water-front condos.
Some of you may have determined from statements made in previous posts that I am something of a car guy. So you can imagine my surprise when the Ford Motor Company sold luxury British automakers Jaguar and Land Rover to Tata Motors of India. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something seems so very wrong with that sentence. Perhaps it’s the fact that two of the most durable symbols of automotive luxury are now owned by the manufacturer of the world’s cheapest car. But there’s a bit of irony here too, isn’t there? For 89 years India found itself under the thumb of the British Empire, exploited for its labor, spices and other commodities. Now two marquees of British capitalism are controlled by by the former colony. Like rain on your wedding day, right? The free ride, when you’ve already paid. The good advice that you just... well, you get the picture.
Zimbabwe is minting new $10 million paper notes. Why would someone need a $10 million bill you ask? Well, if $10 million nets you a grand total of two rolls of toilet paper, you can see how things like $100 bills could be considered completely and utterly useless. Keeping that in mind, President Robert Mugabe distributed cars to a group of about 45 doctors a few days prior to his country’s upcoming presidential elections in a shameless - if not at all admirable - attempt to buy votes for himself. No word or whether or not the rumors of the doctors burning the cars to cook whatever scraps of food they could find are true.
According to news reports, the hottest thing on YouTube right now is a Delta Airlines safety video. That’s right, a safety video. Why is it hot? I have no idea. I don’t understand YouTube, let alone anything on it. But I’m told the video’s popularity has something to do with its “star”, a thirty-something red-haired woman with cheekbones like oranges and lips the size of Florida. Of course, none of this explains the morbid fascination with this strange piece of film, but I guess everyone loves a freak show.
Finally tonight, rapper Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson has rescinded his support for Hillary Clinton and decided to support Barack Obama. Hmm. With friends like those....
Last week a poll was released indicating that 28% of Clinton supporters claim they will not support Obama if he gets the Democratic Party nomination, versus 19% of Obama supporters who claim they will not support Clinton if she wins the nomination. How did the Democratic Party go from claiming they have two candidates they were very happy with to having 47% of the Democratic primary electorate dissatisfied with their choices in a little less than ninety days? Anyone who thinks that a prolonged primary campaign does anything positive for the Democratic Party is smoking some pretty powerful stuff. Anybody seen President Clinton?
Continuing on the subject of polls, Gallup released a poll today showing Barack Obama with a 10-point lead over Hillary Clinton nationally, among Democratic voters, as of March 29 of this year. This is a complete reversal of Gallup’s early February polls which showed Clinton with an 11-point lead over Obama. This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I consider myself a fairly intelligent individual. (Feel free to disagree if you are so inclined.) But considering the month Senator Obama has had, the beating he took for his association with the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, and the strength of Clinton’s support among voters in the upcoming Pennsylvania primary, conventional wisdom would seem to dictate Obama should be scrambling up the tube slide trying to catch up to his opponent. But nothing about this campaign (except for the politics) is conventional, is it?
I wasted seven minutes of my life this evening watching CNN talking-head Lou Dobbs. The Sultan of Smug was discussing the “obvious, indisputable media bias” against Hillary Clinton. His reporter guest from the Washington Post was commenting on a study by some purportedly “unbiased” media research center saying that in the past 60 days, approximately 83% of the network news coverage and commentary on Senator Obama has been “positive”, versus about 53% positive coverage for Senator Clinton. Now I’m always a little suspicious of studies coming from “unbiased” sources. If someone has to tell you they are unbiased, they probably aren’t. Hearing this news the obligatory Clinton supporter proceeded to blame the media for not being hard enough on Obama, while the obligatory Obama supporter claimed the Clinton campaign - who has traditionally enjoyed what some might call favorable media coverage - more or less had a case of sour grapes. I realize it may be difficult to believe, but I think there was a lesson somewhere in this display of adolescence. First, I’m always wary of anyone who claims to be unbiased. If someone tells you they have no preference, they more than likely have a preference. (The same rule applies to people who claim that you can trust them.) But assuming the results of the study are accurate, it raises an interesting point of conversation. Critics of media bias point to anything short of a perfectly even distribution of positive and negative coverage between all the candidates is patently unfair and a threat to the democracy. But there is something else to consider. Not all ideas - or candidates - are created equal. Take the equal coverage argument to its absurd extreme conclusion. Would Joseph Stalin merit the same quantity of positive news coverage as Mahatma Gandhi? Obviously neither Barack Obama nor Hillary Clinton is either Joseph Stalin or Mahatma Gandhi, but the underlying principle may still be applicable. Is it possible that some items or issues receive more favorable coverage because they simply merit more favorable coverage?
While we’re on the subject of issues, can I tell you how tired I am of hearing supporters of both Democratic candidates complain that the primary campaign is focusing too much on personality and not enough on “the issues.” It is somewhat of a dubious charge. There have been no less than twenty debates during the course of this campaign. If you don’t know where each senator stands on the issues you either haven’t been paying attention or you simply aren’t interested in finding out. But there is a a degree of truth to the statement. This Democratic primary race is a personality contest. And there is a very good reason for that. The actual policy differences between the candidates amount to little more than the difference between midnight and 12:03 am. Both want the same things for the country, each has a slightly different way of achieving those goals. And because the goals are so similar, the contest has turned to the areas in which the senators differ - style and personality. Which may offer an explanation for Obama’s 10-point national lead.
Late last week a chunk of ice four times the size of Manhattan broke away from a Connecticut-sized ice-shelf in Antarctica and tumbled into the ocean. So much for those Emperor penguin water-front condos.
Some of you may have determined from statements made in previous posts that I am something of a car guy. So you can imagine my surprise when the Ford Motor Company sold luxury British automakers Jaguar and Land Rover to Tata Motors of India. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something seems so very wrong with that sentence. Perhaps it’s the fact that two of the most durable symbols of automotive luxury are now owned by the manufacturer of the world’s cheapest car. But there’s a bit of irony here too, isn’t there? For 89 years India found itself under the thumb of the British Empire, exploited for its labor, spices and other commodities. Now two marquees of British capitalism are controlled by by the former colony. Like rain on your wedding day, right? The free ride, when you’ve already paid. The good advice that you just... well, you get the picture.
Zimbabwe is minting new $10 million paper notes. Why would someone need a $10 million bill you ask? Well, if $10 million nets you a grand total of two rolls of toilet paper, you can see how things like $100 bills could be considered completely and utterly useless. Keeping that in mind, President Robert Mugabe distributed cars to a group of about 45 doctors a few days prior to his country’s upcoming presidential elections in a shameless - if not at all admirable - attempt to buy votes for himself. No word or whether or not the rumors of the doctors burning the cars to cook whatever scraps of food they could find are true.
According to news reports, the hottest thing on YouTube right now is a Delta Airlines safety video. That’s right, a safety video. Why is it hot? I have no idea. I don’t understand YouTube, let alone anything on it. But I’m told the video’s popularity has something to do with its “star”, a thirty-something red-haired woman with cheekbones like oranges and lips the size of Florida. Of course, none of this explains the morbid fascination with this strange piece of film, but I guess everyone loves a freak show.
Finally tonight, rapper Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson has rescinded his support for Hillary Clinton and decided to support Barack Obama. Hmm. With friends like those....
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