I'm In Shape. I'm Round

Did you know Michael Jackson died last week? Funny how nobody mentioned that.

President Obama has spent the last few days in Moscow negotiating a framework for a new strategic arms reduction treaty. The new framework sets the target of reducing both country’s nuclear arsenals to between 1500 and 1675 warheads each, down from about 2200 warheads apiece currently. The absurdity of those numbers is unreal. But what’s a thousand nuclear warheads between friends, right?

In a rather awkward, rambling press conference late last week, former vice-presidential hopeful Sarah Palin announced she will resign as Governor of Alaska effective July 26, a year-and-a-half before her first term is due to expire. She had said many times previously that she did not intend to seek a second term, but the resignation seemed to come as a surprise to her supporters and even those close to her. This of course lead to all sorts of rumors as to the reasoning behind her decision, from the speculation that one of many ethics violations had finally caught up with her, to the idea that she perhaps was embarking upon a three-and-a-half-year-long presidential campaign. However, the truth seems to be much simpler. She quit. The pressure of being called to task for squandering state resources on herself and failing to perform the job she was elected to do, coupled with media heckling and the boredom of the small-time, dim lights of Alaska led to what can only be described as bailing out. In an interview Monday night, Palin responded in part to the criticism with the following statement: “I am not a quitter. I am a fighter.” Okay. Except that you quit. Sigh.

My opinion of Sarah Palin is no secret. I am at least relieved - if not ecstatic - that this three-ring circus was not allowed anywhere near the White House. But I guess I shouldn’t have been worried. The first time, well, the next time a late-night comedian gave her grief for bombing another interview she would have quit and left the vice-presidency to someone substantially more qualified.

I understand cable news has 23 hours and 53 minutes a day to fill with something other than actual news, but can someone please explain the obsession with the 2012 presidential election? Last I checked, presidential terms lasted 4 whole years. We aren’t yet 12.5% through the first term of the 44th president. Wasn’t a two year campaign long enough? Do we really have to push it to four?

The South Carolina state Republican Party decided that the “core values and beliefs” of the Republican Party aren’t really worth the Governor espousing them, deciding to censure Governor and hypocrite-in-chief Mark Sanford, instead of demanding his resignation. I’m a little tired of people without any “family values” beating everyone else over the head with “family values.” If guys like Sanford and John Ensign and David Vitter and Larry Craig want to cheat on their wives and frequent prostitutes and solicit gay sex in airport bathrooms, go ahead. More power to them. Just please quit telling us how righteous you are while you do it.

Quick, how many U.S. senators are there? If you said 99, up until yesterday, you would have been right. After eight months in limbo, former comedian Al Franken was finally sworn in as the junior senator from Minnesota. Democrats are cautious, yet excited at the prospect of the first filibuster-proof majority in over thirty years. Excited that if push comes to shove, Republicans can no longer prevent votes on legislation by refusing to close debate. But cautious because 60 Democrats couldn’t agree on the color of the sky, let alone healthcare, climate or financial reform. I guess we are about to find out whether or not the left can muster the same unity they’ve been so envious of for the last eight years.

The State of California is officially broke. Last Thursday the State Treasurer begun issuing IOUs. in lieu of income tax returns and payment for services rendered. The promissory notes come due in October, at which time California promises to pay to the full amount of the note, plus 3.75% interest. About $87 million in IOUs have ben issued over three business days, with an estimated $3 billion to be distributed before the end of the month. Not surprisingly, the banks aren’t amused. Already billions of dollars in debt, the last thing unstable financial institutions are interested in is acquiring more debt - especially since there is no guarantee that California will have resolved its crisis in time to make good on its promissory notes. Not to worry though. There’s always money to be made out of misery. Nearly overnight advertisements appeared on Craigslist and in other forms offering to purchase California IOUs for 85 cents on the dollar, providing the holders of the certificates cash in hand for a “modest” fee of 15%. Assuming California can pay, the holder of the certificate will make about an 18% profit upon redemption in October. In this economy I guess that’s a pretty decent rate of return if you don’t have any qualms about ripping people off.

Former NFL co-MVP, long time Tennessee Titan and retired Baltimore Ravens quarterback Steve McNair was found dead in his Nashville condo over the weekend. He was found shot four times along with a what is now thought to have been a girlfriend in what is looking more and more like a murder/suicide. I know it’s not yet football season, but I can’t let this pass without saying a few words. I know this sounds cliche, but Steve McNair was a football player’s football player. Apart from the fact that he was a great quarterback, he was the toughest SOB I’ve ever seen play professional football. His name never came off the injury list. Every single game he played he played hurt, yet he never complained and he never took games off. There are a lot of divas and prima donnas in the league that could learn a thing or two from the way McNair handled himself on the field and in the locker room. The game will miss him.

Moving to hockey, another fond farewell to one Joe Sakic, most recently of the Colorado Avalanche. Sakic announced his retirement today after 20 seasons in the NHL. I remember his debut in the league the Quebec Nordiques, back in the good old days, when Canada had more hockey teams than California. Sakic takes with him two Stanley Cups, 13 All-Star appearances, one league MVP and an Olympic gold medal. With his retirement Team Canada loses a one of its greatest assets and hockey one of its finest ambassadors.

Finally, in keeping with the sports theme, Congress is investigating the fairness of the Bowl Championship Series, the system by which college football decides which teams will play for the nation title. First, doesn’t Congress have more important things to do than investigate college football? And if they don’t, shouldn’t they? And second, isn’t this a case of the idiots investigating the morons? Yes, the BCS system is pathetic, but is it really any worse than a system that in the midst of a recession/recovery and vigorous debates on the short and long term future of this country, somehow found the time discuss the merits of a playoff versus computer scoring?