Sharp Dressed Man

I want to talk about pants. I know, there are so many other, more important issues to be angry about. Dog fighting, incompetent government, global warming, that sort of thing. But it's still Sunday, and I want to talk about pants. I have eight hours before I have to think again.

Ever have a really nice pair of pants? I mean a really, really nice pair of pants. Pants with a comfortable relaxed fit, soft, supple material, and a perfect crease - every time. Pants that you washed right after you wore them so that you could immediately wear them again. Remember how much you paid for them? Fifty bucks? Hundred? Maybe three hundred? Well how about $67 million?

Judge Roy Pearson (yes, judge) recently sued his friendly neighborhood dry cleaner for $67 million (yes, six zeroes) over what he claims was a lost pair of pants. Now to be fair to the judge, they were his favorite pair of pants - part of his favorite suit of course - which he had planned to wear (underneath his robe?) on his first day on the bench... ten years ago. But when he went to retrieve the pants from the dry cleaner, they were not there. Not long after that he claims the dry cleaner tried to pass of and inferior pair of pants as the ones that had gone missing, but he wasn't having any of it. The sign in the window said "Satisfaction Guaranteed" dammit! And he was going to get some satisfaction.

Intelligent people everywhere have made fun of this idiot since the day this story broke, and I'm not going to be any different. If anyone ever deserved to be publicly skewered it is this judge. They were pants man, not diamonds. And I'm pretty sure he didn't have that much cash stuffed into his pockets. Obviously judge Pearson felt he was not making enough money serving the people on the bench and needed to supplement his inadequate income with a frivolous lawsuit. And if that were all this case was about I probably wouldn't mention it. But there are two other issues here. First, this is the type of case that drives people to hate lawyers. The very fact that this case wasn't laughed out of court the moment it was filed says something about the decadence of American society. With all the real problems the country faces every day, the best use we can find for our civil justice system is to waste time on a pair of pants. But more importantly, judge Pearson represents an unsavory, yet popular and expanding segment of our society. He is part of the entitlement culture. One of those individuals who believe that the sole reason the rest of us were put on this planet was to ensure they could get everything they want, whenever they want it. The world exists for their satisfaction, and we should guarantee it to them, regardless of how absurd their demands may be. If this society is to continue to survive and prosper, we are going to have to force a harsh realization on the entitlement culture. You are entitled to only three things; life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. All the other stuff you'll have to muddle through, just like the rest of us.