1.27.2010

Royale with Cheese

I went to a birthday party for a four-year-old boy this past Sunday. I'm sure I'll have recovered by Thursday.

Over the past couple weeks we’ve heard a lot about this “anger” that seems to be prevalent throughout the country. That people are mad as hell, and they aren’t going to take it anymore. Okay. People are angry. I guess that’s okay. Although things are looking better, they aren’t like they were back in the good ol’ days of 2007 or 2008. A lot of people are underemployed and a lot more people are out of work altogether. Many approaching the age of retirement saw their savings evaporate over the past 16 months (although those who chose to remain in the market after the collapse of 2008 have already regained about 60% of what they lost), and millions of people either find themselves evicted from or trapped in homes they can neither afford to sell or pay for. Times are tough all over, and sometimes anger can be a great motivator for innovation and improvement. But most of the time, anger is the catalyst for poor decision-making. Anger is an emotional response, and angry people often react in a manner detrimental to their own self-interest. Nothing inherently wrong with being angry. Be very wary of acting out of anger.

A new poll caught my attention yesterday. A majority of those polled want the government to “do something” about the deficit. A majority of those polled also want the government to “do something” about job creation. I can’t decide whether this reflects a simple misunderstanding of basic economics, or a demand that this administration attempt to implement two diametrically opposed policies at the same time. I am inclined toward the former. Whether you want the government to stimulate job growth by spending on job creation programs, or reducing the tax rate, neither of those things can be accomplished without increasing the federal deficit. Spending increases borrowing, while tax cuts reduce revenue. I realize economics is probably not required high school curriculum, but it’s not difficult to see that neither of those actions does anything to reduce the deficit. Yet somehow the President is just supposed to wave his arms and make all the scary bad things go away. Is the deficit a concern? Absolutely. Does it need to be eliminated tomorrow? Absolutely not. The best time to tackle the federal debt is when the economy is growing, when there are enough employment opportunities for those who want to take advantage of them. Funny. No one seemed to care about deficits during the early and mid-portions of the past decade, when the government was dramatically reducing revenues while spending 10 billion dollars of borrowed money a month on wars. Wonder what the difference was?

Last Friday the United States Supreme Court overturned 100 years of legal precedent in striking down campaign finance laws restricting the amount of money corporations and unions can spend on election campaign advertising. Writing for the majority, Justice Kennedy claimed that the U.S. Constitution prevents Congress from passing any law abridging the freedom of speech, be it individual or corporate. Essentially, the Court declared that corporations are living, breathing, bleeding human beings, deserving of Constitutional protection. With all due respect to the eminent domain decision of several years ago, this is the worst piece of drivel to come out of the Supreme Court in the last decade. The Bill of Rights is supposed to apply to people, offering them legal protection from the actions of their government. According to another founding document, said rights are inalienable, endowed upon us by our creator. I guess I wasn’t aware that Genesis 2: 21 & 22 actually read, “And the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He AT&T, and brought her unto man.” If the First Amendment applies to corporations and unions, why not the Second Amendment? Or the Eighth? Or the Fourteenth? Does Microsoft have the right to bear arms? Is IBM protected against cruel and unusual punishment? If I incorporate myself, can I legally vote twice? Hmm. Perhaps I’ll file those papers tomorrow.

The All-American Basketball Alliance announced last week that it hopes to begin its inaugural season in June, with a team from Augusta, Georgia filling one of the spots in the 12-city league. The problem? Only natural-born American citizens with two Caucasian parents will be eligible to play. “There’s nothing hatred (sic) about what we’re doing,” says Don “Moose” Lewis, commissioner of the AABA. “But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.” Sigh. Every time I think we’ve made a little progress as a nation, along comes “Moose” Lewis. Lewis claims that he wants to emphasize fundamental basketball, not the “street-ball” played by “people of color.” You know, things like dribbling, passing and shooting, which are all apparently absent from the National Basketball Association. To his credit, the mayor of Augusta, Deke Copenhaver, has refused to give the Moose the time of day. I’m not going to dignify any of the claims of the Moose by either repeating them here or responding to them. I raise the issue simply to make the following point. There is no shortage of people in this country poorly attempting to mask their disdain for those different from themselves with mantras of returning to “fundamentals.”

My NFL Thoughts for Conference Championship Weekend:

Wow. After two consecutive weeks of duds, football fans finally got their money’s worth.

After falling behind early to this year’s Cinderella story New York Jets, Peyton Manning snapped out of his funk and torched the best defense in football for 24 unanswered points and a 30-17 victory. Four months ago, no one outside of Indianapolis had ever heard the name Pierre Garçon. Last Sunday, the son of Haitian immigrants looked like the second coming of Randy Moss, embarrassing every Jets defender not named Darrelle Revis. The Colts are headed to their second Super Bowl in four years, and it is not a stretch to say that this team is substantially superior to the 2006 championship team. If one were to include Anthony Gonzalez - who is currently on injured reserve - the Colts have four wide receivers that could start at number one or two receiver for any other team in the league. It’s going to be ridiculously difficult for any defense to contain this team.

For the first time since their inception in 1967, the New Orleans Saints are on their way to the Super Bowl. The Saints defeated Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings 31-28, in an overtime thriller that left the Vikings asking anyone who would listen for the number of the truck that ran them over. Minnesota fumbled the football SIX times (lost three of them), and threw two interceptions, several of which - especially the final interception - were directly responsible for keeping New Orleans in the game. The Saints played far from a perfect game, the normally precise Drew Brees missing receivers and tossing flutter-balls, but their defense was aggressive and opportunistic enough to pull them through.

I feel bad for Brett Favre. And not just because I lived in Wisconsin for four years. At 40-years-old, Favre had his best statistical season EVER, better at four decades than every active NFL quarterback in his 20’s and most in their 30’s. I think it's a fraud that Manning was selected league MVP in light of the season Number Four had. He is the NFL icon of a generation and he will certainly be missed if he ever decides to retire. But as awful as I feel for Favre, I am elated for the Saints. Favre has won a Super Bowl and played in two, and his place in Canton awaits him. The city of New Orleans has been through so much, and the Saints have been so bad for so long, that I can’t help but root for them to win this one. If you listen to the New Orleans radio announcers call the winning field goal, you can hear the torrent of relief in their voices. All the pent-up frustration and anguish of 40 losing seasons and dozens of failed draft picks and fans sitting in the stands with paper bags over their heads and a Superdome full of Katrina refugees came flooding out all at once in wails of joy. “Pigs have flown,” one announcer cried. “Hell has frozen over! The Saints are going to the Super Bowl!” Amen.

My Super Bowl prediction: Indianapolis Colts 35, New Orleans Saints 21.

Finally, the U.S. Marine Corp. admitted to being “concerned” that Trijicon, a Michigan-based manufacturer of optical sight devices for firearms, stamps numerical references to Bible verses on the hardware it supplies to the military. Apparently, the verses referenced carry the common theme of Jesus being the light of the world. Now, exactly why that needs to be embossed on the mount of a sniper rifle scope continues to elude me, but perhaps I’m just missing something. Maybe its a Pulp Fiction thing, you know, when Jules (Samuel Jackson) is being held up in the diner and he explains to Ringo (the robber) why he should hand over the gun and walk away and says the following;

“There's this passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." I been saying that s&^! for years. And if you heard it, that meant your ass. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was some cold-blooded s&^! to say to a muthaf$#&@% 'fore I popped a cap in his ass.”

I always found the idea of someone quoting scripture prior to taking a life disturbing. I don’t see how inscribing scriptural references onto a lethal weapon is any less bizarre.

1.20.2010

Boiling Rage

We have a freezing fog warning tonight. I am thirty-three years old, and have lived in such places as Winnipeg, Manitoba, Oshawa, Ontario, and Berrien Springs Michigan. Never in my life have I heard of freezing fog before today.

Right off the top, condolences to the Haitian people. Last week their capital Port-au-Prince - and by extension their entire nation was rocked by a 7.0 earthquake, leveling about 50% of the capital and resulted in the deaths of what could amount to hundreds of thousands of people. Haiti was already the poorest country in the hemisphere prior to this disaster and things can only get worse from here, at least in the short term. The good news is that there has been a swift and robust international aid effort supplying both search and rescue manpower and desperately needed resources. It is true that rescue efforts have been hampered by earthquake damage as well as the state of - or lack of existing infrastructure, but at least there is an effort. We all need to understand that if there is such thing as ideal conditions under which to run an aid effort, these ARE NOT those conditions, so as much as we’d like to believe that we can work miracles, get food and water and shelter and medicine and search and rescue to everyone in need the moment they need it, we may have to accept that we can’t. Millions of dollars have already been donated to the relief effort with millions more still to come, and even more pledged for long-term rebuilding efforts. Hopefully this time we’ll be able to leave Haiti in better condition than we found it.

There is an episode of the Simpsons in which, after enduring particularly egregious torment from Bart, Lisa responds with the following: “Well, I’m just going to start kicking my legs like this, and if you happen to get in the way, that’s your problem!” To which Bart then replies, “Oh yeah? Well I’m just going to start swinging my arms like this, and if I happen to hit you, that’s your fault!” Unfortunately, that seems to be a fairly accurate representation of the American electorate right now.

Tuesday evening, Republican state senator Scott Brown defeated Democratic Attorney General Martha Coakley for the U.S. Senate seat formerly occupied by the late Ted Kennedy - a seat Democrats have held for almost 50 years. Coakley’s defeat gives Republicans their 41st vote, enabling them to filibuster any and every piece of legislation from now until at least January of 2011, depending on the outcome of the midterm elections. And make no mistake about it, that is precisely what they intend to do. Congratulations Democrats. You have somehow managed to screw this up - again.

If you appreciate this development, good for you. Congratulations, you are a winner. Odds are that for at least the next 11 months, you will act like one. If you happen to be disappointed by this development, I’m sorry. My condolences, you are a loser. Chances are you got that way by failing to act like a winner for the past 11 months. Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of blame to go around. But after said blame has finished making the rounds, it can all come back to one place, the Democratic Party. They can blame the economy, they can blame Republican obstructionism, they can blame the blue moon on New Year’s Eve, but the fact is they have no one to blame but themselves. One year ago this President had a 70% approval rating, Democrats in Congress were polling well above 50% and their opposition was stuck in the low 20s with nowhere to go but down. So to kick things off, they rolled out a can’t-miss Democratic proposal, healthcare reform. Everybody in the country knew the system was broken, everybody agreed it needed to be fixed, and an overwhelming majority claimed they trusted Democrats more than Republicans to fix it. Democrats extended invitations to their opposition to provide input on the impending legislation, loading the bill with amendment after amendment demanded by GOP representatives and dropping nearly every single initiative favored by their own members more liberal members in an effort to win bipartisan support. But it quickly became evident that regardless of what was in the bill, regardless of how favorable it was to Republican interests, not a single Republican ever intended to vote for it. At the very moment that truth became evident, the Democratic Party should have re-written the legislation the way they wanted it, closed ranks and passed a bill they were happy with (or at least content with), sold it to their constituents and moved on to other business. Ah, if wishes were fishes.

Instead, they proceeded as though this legislative session were business as usual. They debated and conferenced and wrangled some more, until they left for August recess without a coherent piece of legislation. This allowed the opposition to exaggerate, implicate and fabricate all sorts of things that were or not in or accomplished by the bill that did not yet exist. Four weeks later public opinion had turned against the non-existent bill and the Republicans never looked back. Instead of learning the lesson of August, closing ranks, quickly passing a bill they were content with and moving on to other things, they allowed their discussions to drag on for 120 more days before Democrats in the Senate finally came to agreement on a bill completely different than the ones their colleagues in the House had already passed. By this time the GOP had managed to take the shapeless, formless underlying anger at the now improving economy and direct it toward Democrats, claiming their decent management of terrible circumstances set the country on the expressway to Communism and the only way to derail the train is to kill healthcare reform - and the rest of the Obama presidency. Unfortunately, because intellectual laziness is so much easier than patience and intellectual diligence, a large portion of voters - at least in Massachusetts - seem to have bought into whatever empty packaging the GOP is selling. Sure, Martha Coakley was a weak candidate, uninterested in doing many of the things most candidates know they have to do. But honestly, Massachusetts is the most liberal state in the union. A monkey in pants should have been able to defeat any Republican fielded against it. Turns out that 2010 may indeed look a lot like 1994. So much for progress.

Both Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh said some pretty stupid things last week regarding the situation in Haiti. But I’m not going to give either of those yahoos any more ink than they’ve already had. Instead I’d like to focus on another non-story that broke last week. It came to light in a newly released 2008 campaign book that leading up to the Democratic primary, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid encouraged Barack Obama to run for president, in part because he was “light-skinned” and “had no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.” Republicans immediately labeled Reid a racist and demanded he resign his position as majority leader. Reid apologized to the President and when nothing more came of the “scandal” Republicans began to complain of a double standard. They insisted Reid was being given a pass for his “racism,” while former Republican Majority Leader Trent Lott was not granted the same leeway. This story serves to prove that not only does the Republican Party have a problem with race, they don’t even understand WHY they have a problem with race. At a birthday party for the late Republican Senator and former presidential candidate Strom Thurmond, Lott offered a toast, during which he made the statement that he felt it was unfortunate that Thurmond had not been elected president, and that if he had been, the country would be better off now. The problem? At the time Thurmond ran for president, he was an outspoken segregationist, a staunch opponent of civil rights, and a racist in the mold of Alabama Governor George Wallace. Republicans tried to equate advocation of a segregationist president with an old man’s ineloquent, outdated statement of an arguable fact. There are many people in this country - black and white - who will tell you that for a black man to become president in America today, he MUST have a lighter complexion and speak the queen’s english. Nothing less would be enough. The difference between the two statements is, pardon the pun, black and white. What Harry Reid said was politically incorrect. What Trent Lott said was racist.

It seems the only people less capable of succeeding than Democrats are the brass at NBC. Four months ago the peacock network moved Jay Leno to 10:00 p.m., Conan O’Brien to 11:30 p.m. and eliminated all of their 10:00 p.m. dramas in an attempt to cut costs and increase ratings. They have accomplished neither. In fact, they have accomplished exactly to opposite. Ratings plummeted so much that local affiliates revolted, demanding that the network return to the previous format or said affiliates would simply refuse to carry NBC’s programming. Message received. NBC has reportedly paid Conan $40 million to leave the network, clearing the way for Leno to return to the 11:30 p.m. time slot. I couldn’t care less about NBC’s late night line-up, but there is an interesting aspect to this story. With all the prognosticators talking about how the internet is destroying / has destroyed network television, I’m a little surprised people cared enough about their 10:00 p.m. dramas to mount a revolt. I was told television was dead. Apparently, rumors of its demise have been greatly exaggerated.

My NFL thoughts for Divisional Playoff Weekend:

Just like Wild Card Weekend, football fans were treated to three duds and one entertaining game.

Fresh from their week off, the well-rested New Orleans Saints, with the help of a completely retooled Reggie Bush, lit up the Arizona Cardinals defense for 45 points in their 45-14 victory. Over the span of two games the Cardinals gave up a total of 90 points. The reason the Cardinals made it to the Super Bowl last year was because they suddenly figured out how to play defense the moment the playoffs started. Whatever they learned last year they forgot last Saturday.

Forty-year-old Brett Favre and his Minnesota Vikings put on a clinic in the Metrodome last Sunday, wiping the astroturf with the Dallas Cowboys 34-3. The Cowboys, who had scored 75 point points over their last three games moved the ball well early on, but then just seemed to fold once the Vikings defense turned up the pressure. After the best statistical season of his career, Favre threw for four touchdowns, including a late fourth down toss that drew the ire of Cowboys linebacker Keith Brooking, who expressed his displeasure at what he termed a “classless act” by stalking over to the Minnesota sideline and barking at the back of several purple jerseys. Funny. I didn’t see Brooking talking about class when his team defeated the Philadelphia Eagles 24-0 and 34-14 in two consecutive weeks. Brooking’s complaint always tweaks me the wrong way. This is professional football. The object of professional football is to score points. If you don’t want your opponent to score points, stop him from scoring. It is not his responsibility to lay down and quit to keep you from looking bad.

Two weeks ago Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco completed 4 of 10 passes for a grand total of 34 yards, yet his team still trounced the New England Patriots 33-14. He was less fortunate last week. The Colts came out off their bye week sharp enough to defeat the Ravens 20-3, but the game was deceptively more intriguing than the score might indicate. As well as Indianapolis played, they got more than a little help from their opponents. Ravens all-star safety intercepted Peyton Manning twice in three consecutive passes, but fumbled the ball away once on the return and relinquished it the second time due to a pass interference penalty called on a teammate. On the other side of the ball, the game just seemed too big for the Baltimore offense which made stupid mistake after stupid mistake until they were no longer in a position to recover.

Finally, the 13 and 3 San Diego Chargers made a swift playoff exit to the 9-7 New York Jets in the most closely contested game of the weekend. Yes, the Jets played remarkably well, I have to give credit where credit is due. But the reason this game was so close was because the Chargers played what might have been their sloppiest game all season, following negative running plays with needless penalties with absent-minded interceptions with missed field goals. San Diego’s all-pro kicker missed all three field goals he attempted, two of which should have been automatic for him and just one or which would have at least tied the game. This isn’t the first time the Chargers have found themselves colossal disappointments. Several years ago, following a 14 and 2 regular season, the Chargers unceremoniously exited the playoffs after surrendering a late lead to the Patriots, which cost the then head coach his job. (It is the first and only time in my memory a coach has been terminated after a season in which he won 87% of his games.) Most in the media, and everyone in Southern California was convinced this would not be a repeat of that 2005/2006 season. But I guess that’s why we play the games.

My Super Bowl Predictions for Conference Championship Weekend:
Indianapolis Colts vs Minnesota Vikings.

Finally, last week, former Illinois Governor Rod “the Hair” Blagojevich stated, in an interview with Esquire magazine, that he was, “blacker than Barack Obama.” Blago went on to elaborate, saying that he shined shoes, grew up in a five bedroom apartment, and had a father that owned a laundromat in a black neighborhood, all of which he felt made him more of a part of the black experience than the actually black Barack Obama. How incredibly boring would our politics be without characters like Rod Blagojevich?

1.12.2010

Only Half Dead

As today - yes this very day - is my birthday, I have decided to take the week off. I'm told it's one of the perks of writing something that only two people read. Tune in next week for commentary on whatever happens between now and then, including whatever I missed this week.

1.06.2010

And A Happy New Year

Happy New Year everybody! Here’s to 365 brand new days of the same old thing.

It’s snowing here. About 22 inches since last Friday, and it is expected to continue snowing until at least Thursday night. Did I mention that I hate snow? You know, I hear Seattle’s nice this time of year.

To kick off the New Year on the right foot, the city/state of Dubai christened what is officially the world’s tallest skyscraper today. Topping off at a ridiculous 2,717 feet (828 metres, for my Canadian readers) and 1.5 billion dollars, the Burj Khalifa—formerly the Burj Dubai—shatters the previous record by 1,047 feet and, well, a whole lot of money. What makes this story interesting is that Dubai is FLAT BROKE. Only five weeks ago the emirate requested a six month reprieve on a $3.5 billion interest payment when it became evident that it was in danger of defaulting on somewhere between $59 and $80 billion in loans. But, I guess $1.5 billion is chump change when you’re already in for $80 billion, right?

Over the holiday weekend, radio personality Rush Limbaugh was admitted to hospital with severe chest pains he thought might be a heart attack. Subsequent tests revealed no heart attack had been suffered. Probably just gas. Hot air. Lots of it.

I have to preface the next segment with full disclosure. I have attended private schools my whole life. I am not rich and I never have been. Neither has my family. In fact, if you ask my parents they will tell you all about walking uphill both ways to school in the snow all year round and living paycheck to paycheck and all that good stuff working people have to do to sustain themselves and their tenuous position in society. Nevertheless, I attended private schools because my parents decided that would be best for me. And somehow, (you’d have to ask them how because I still have no idea), we always managed to find a way to pay for it while also paying taxes to support the public school system.

Over the weekend, RNC Chairman Michael Steele called President Obama a hypocrite for sending his children to private school while opposing school vouchers that would help allow other “less fortunate” parents to do the same. First, why is it that every time Michael Steele opens his mouth something stupid comes out? Second—and more importantly—there’s nothing hypocritical about opposing private school vouchers while having kids in private school. Contrary to Steele’s opinion, this isn’t like telling your kids not to smoke pot while rolling a joint in front of them. Any and every child—regardless of means—can attend public school for the opportunity to get an education and succeed in life. Because an educated citizenry is in the best interest of society, we as a country have decided it is worth while to spend some portion of our taxes to fund said public education system. Private school, on the other hand, is a luxury. It is the educational equivalent of consuming bottled water instead of tap water, or lying in a tanning bed instead of on the beach under the sun. Parents who can afford something extra, something above and beyond in terms of curriculum or discipline or whatever else they might be looking for, pay out of pocket to send their kids to a private school of their choice. If we start paying parents to leave the public school system with dollars intended to fund the public school system they intend to leave, we will be left with a public school system completely incapable of performing the task for which it was created. I’m sure that sits just fine with a certain segment of this country. I feel sorry for those people.

My NFL Thoughts for Week 17:

Not a great weekend of football. Only two of the 32 teams really had anything to play for and both of them accomplished their goal of sneaking into the playoffs. Too many “good” teams simply didn’t bother to show up—four of them losing in blowout shutouts to teams they were supposedly able to beat. Three of this coming Sunday’s Wild Card games will be rematches of last Sunday’s blowouts, and only four of the 12 playoff teams head into the post-season looking like they are actually capable of winning a football game. The only real highlight of the weekend was Titans’ running back Chris Johnson becoming only the sixth player in NFL history to rush for 2,000 yards, (finishing the season with 2,005) and the only player to do so on a team without a winning record. Hopefully next week will prove to be a little more interesting.

My Super Bowl Picks for Week 17: Minnesota Vikings vs. San Diego Chargers.

Last week during a news roundtable discussing Tiger Woods, Fox News senior anchor Brit Hume stated that in order to turn his life around, Woods should abandon his Buddhist faith (because it has nothing to offer him) and accept Jesus Christ in order that he might once again do great things. Hume then appeared on The O’Reilly Factor Monday night surprised at the negative feedback he received from journalists and bloggers and others on the Internet regarding his proselytizing. But instead of giving thoughtful consideration to the criticism, he reverted to the Chewbacca Defense: in this case, if people take exception to comments regarding religion, they’ve obviously persecuting you because they hate Jesus. Sigh. I continue to find it difficult to buy the argument that a nation identifying itself overwhelmingly as Christian “persecutes” people who talk about Christ, but for the sake of this discussion that point is moot. It doesn’t seem like an architect should have to explain journalistic ethics to a journalist, but here goes. Brit Hume is a news anchor. In fact, he’s the senior news anchor of a news program on a news network. While he is on the air (at the very least) he is supposed to be an impartial reporter of THE NEWS, not an outspoken advocate of his particular worldview. If Brit Hume wants to be a commentator, like is colleagues Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly or Glen Beck, then he should ask for his own primetime news commentary program during which he would be free from journalistic restraint and welcome to evangelize Tiger Woods or whomsoever else he pleases. Evangelism has no place in the news unless it is the subject of said news. Care to imagine for a moment the mountains of copy and breathless lead-ins Fox News would blast through if a national network news anchor suggested someone look to Allah for salvation?

Finally, on a topic that may interest only me, the roster of the Canadian Olympic Hockey Team was announced last week. I realize that means absolutely nothing to most people in this country, but it’s a pretty big deal to me, and 33 million other Canadians. (That’s all of us by the way, all 33 million of us.) After being utterly humiliated by a seventh place finish in Torino four years ago, this is our chance for redemption. Understand something about Olympic hockey in Canada. This isn’t like the Major League Baseball All-Star Game or the NFL Pro Bowl here in America. People actually care about this. Being selected to the Olympic team is like being asked to sit at the right hand of God. You never turn it down, you are always grateful for the opportunity, and you are expected to win—every single time. The reputation of the greatest player ever to play the game was irreparably tarnished in 2006 when he assembled an Olympic squad that lost games to the likes of Italy, a country with barely enough ice to make a slushie. This year, with the games on home ice, anything less than a gold medal will be considered failure—worse if it comes at the hands of the United States. It’s bad enough to lose an international hockey game, never mind losing that game to a country where non-sense like cup-stacking and competitive eating are regularly shown on television while hockey is not.